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Lovelorn Single Laments Loss
Dear John: I am a 28-year-old male. I've recently had a breakup with my girlfriend of seven years. This has been the most painful experience I've ever had.
I deeply love and care for "Linda," but she is now currently dating someone else. I …Read more.
Boyfriend Moves in With Ex
Dear John: I am a college student who has been dating my boyfriend for three years, all of which have been long distance. I am graduating in the next few months and have accepted a job near him. We have plans to get married in the near future.
…Read more.
Professional Affair Upsets Career
Dear John: I've been having an affair with "Jack," a married co-worker, for three years. We both knew it was wrong, but a relationship started, then cooled off out of guilt.
Jack has been nervous around me lately. Currently, we've both …Read more.
Woman Worries She Was an 'Easy Target'
Dear John: I've just ended an abusive marriage. After leaving my husband, I have started seeing a man who is about five years younger than me, and once again, I have gotten burned pretty badly.
I think he saw me as an easy target because of my …Read more.
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JOHN GRAY'S MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUSDear John: Can you really learn to trust again in a relationship when that trust has been lost? How do you get over the anger of being betrayed? And if a man cheats, will his unfaithfulness continue? — Still Hurting in Madison, Wis. Dear Still Hurting: I cannot tell you to leave or stay in a relationship based on so little information, but let me attempt to ease some of your discomfort by answering your questions. Whether a man will be unfaithful again depends on the person who is your partner. If he has not resolved the underlying problem that caused the affair in the first place, then yes, the behavior is likely to continue. On the other hand, it may indeed be an isolated incident based on the timing and circumstances of those involved. Can trust be reborn in a relationship? Can one heal the hurt from infidelity? That depends on the effort both partners are willing to put into rebuilding that trust and ending the pain. There are a variety of books, including my own, on the topic of starting over. Use them as a starting point to gain helpful insights into confronting this difficult life experience. On a hopeful note: A broken trust in many cases can be like a broken bone. After the pain and a long period of recovery, the newly mended bone has grown back stronger.
Dear John: I am a 55-year-old female living with a man who is 59. He never tells me that I look good. In fact, he says nothing encouraging, and I have to ask him constantly if he loves me. He has been married twice. Are there just some men like this, who can't express themselves? — If Only He'd Say it in Dallas Dear If Only: You have hit on a classic Mars/Venus difference: Many men simply don't think it is important to express their love and admiration for their partners. Women, on the other hand, put a high value on giving and receiving words of love and support. It would be nice if men knew this intuitively, but most of them don't. Your gentle and frequent reminders will help your guy to learn, understand and appreciate the language of love. If you're lucky, he will learn by example. So don't be shy, particularly before or after intimacy, in giving him compliments and asking for them as well. John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: comments@marsvenusliving.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2010 JOHN GRAY'S MARS VENUS ADVICE
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