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Lovelorn Single Laments Loss
Dear John: I am a 28-year-old male. I've recently had a breakup with my girlfriend of seven years. This has been the most painful experience I've ever had.
I deeply love and care for "Linda," but she is now currently dating someone else. I …Read more.
Boyfriend Moves in With Ex
Dear John: I am a college student who has been dating my boyfriend for three years, all of which have been long distance. I am graduating in the next few months and have accepted a job near him. We have plans to get married in the near future.
…Read more.
Professional Affair Upsets Career
Dear John: I've been having an affair with "Jack," a married co-worker, for three years. We both knew it was wrong, but a relationship started, then cooled off out of guilt.
Jack has been nervous around me lately. Currently, we've both …Read more.
Woman Worries She Was an 'Easy Target'
Dear John: I've just ended an abusive marriage. After leaving my husband, I have started seeing a man who is about five years younger than me, and once again, I have gotten burned pretty badly.
I think he saw me as an easy target because of my …Read more.
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John Gray's Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, January 24Dear John: I hate the fact that my life has changed so drastically since my husband's affair three years ago. At 51 years of age, he had a midlife crisis. We've been married for 32 years. In order to win him back, I had to learn to party, smoke, dance, talk dirty and give up practicing my faith. And yet all this time, I still wish deeply he would evaluate our new lifestyle. My own inclination is to keep up with him until he gets tired of it, although I still fear that it will lead to another affair, either for me or for him. If that happens, I will walk out at that point. Is this the right approach? — Giving As Good As I Get in Cartersville, Ga. Dear Giving As Good As I Get: Nope, what you're doing is all wrong. When you discovered the affair, you should have told him that he was about to lose you. Instead, you changed in order to hold onto him — and in the process, you lost yourself. Do yourself a favor and seriously consider moving on without him. No man and no relationship are worth your conscience, your value system, your health or your emotional well-being. Dear John: Is it possible for my husband to have a platonic relationship with the woman who tends bar at his favorite hangout? He has met her after work hours with our kids and at her home for my kids to play with her puppy. She has given my 12-year-old son a card (whom she met only once) along with a $25 gift card! Should I be threatened by this behavior? I have asked that he not see her other than maybe during his lunch break.
Dear Little Bells: Mandates forbidding contact rarely succeed. When we forbid our partner to pursue an innocent relationship, we create an issue of trust that we will regret at some point in the future, so don't go there. Instead, consider explaining your discomfort with the friendship and why you feel this way. For example, how would he feel if all the facts were the same but reversed — you had a growing friendship with a single male friend? One way to diffuse the situation is for your husband to include both of you in this social mix. Invite his friend, along with others, to a backyard cookout. How your husband and the friend act together should go a long way to reducing your concern, or perhaps confirming your suspicions. Either way, you'll find out what kind of friend she truly is to him. John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: comments@marsvenusliving.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2010 JOHN GRAY'S MARS VENUS ADVICE
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