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Lovelorn Single Laments Loss
Dear John: I am a 28-year-old male. I've recently had a breakup with my girlfriend of seven years. This has been the most painful experience I've ever had.
I deeply love and care for "Linda," but she is now currently dating someone else. I …Read more.
Boyfriend Moves in With Ex
Dear John: I am a college student who has been dating my boyfriend for three years, all of which have been long distance. I am graduating in the next few months and have accepted a job near him. We have plans to get married in the near future.
…Read more.
Professional Affair Upsets Career
Dear John: I've been having an affair with "Jack," a married co-worker, for three years. We both knew it was wrong, but a relationship started, then cooled off out of guilt.
Jack has been nervous around me lately. Currently, we've both …Read more.
Woman Worries She Was an 'Easy Target'
Dear John: I've just ended an abusive marriage. After leaving my husband, I have started seeing a man who is about five years younger than me, and once again, I have gotten burned pretty badly.
I think he saw me as an easy target because of my …Read more.
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JOHN GRAY'S MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUSDear John: I am a single, 33-year-old man. I'm at the stage of life where I finally want to get married. I know this sounds dumb, but it's true: Even though I date many women, I still haven't figured out what qualities I should look for in a wife. What would you suggest? — Looking for Real in Houston Dear Looking for Real: While your list should include traits that have special meaning to you, I'd like you to consider putting these six qualities on your list as well: 1) Consideration. Selfishness has no place in a marriage. Your partner's needs should stay highest in your mind. 2) Shared Values. While hobbies and interests may vary, a couple that shares similar values will always walk together through their life's journey. 3) Trust. If you cannot trust your mate, eventually it will undermine your marriage. 4) Appreciation. By remembering all that your partner does for you, your love is continually renewed. 5) Respect. This should be demonstrated by both of you day in and day out. If you cannot respect your spouse, you cannot truly love her. 6) Passion. Metaphorically speaking, all the other traits combined are the ingredients for a strong marriage. However, passion between two people is the icing on the cake.
Dear John: "Phil" and I have been together for eight years. A few months back, he had an affair that lasted for a month. We had split up at the time, and I found out about it afterward. After five months apart, we decided to work on our problems. I told him I forgave him. Now that we have been back together for two months, he has contacted ex-girlfriends that he has not spoken to in years. I am just being paranoid, or is he playing me for a fool? — Heartbroken in Alpharetta, Ga. Dear Heartbroken: Phil wants his freedom. That is why you split up before the affair, and that is why he is now reaching out to other women with whom he was once close. Love is the celebration of shared happiness. Life with Phil is about shared pain. That's not what any of us wants. It's time to see the relationship for what it is: over. Move on. Otherwise, you'll get hurt over and over again. John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: comments@marsvenusliving.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 JOHN GRAY'S MARS VENUS ADVICE
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