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Lovelorn Single Laments Loss
Dear John: I am a 28-year-old male. I've recently had a breakup with my girlfriend of seven years. This has been the most painful experience I've ever had.
I deeply love and care for "Linda," but she is now currently dating someone else. I …Read more.
Boyfriend Moves in With Ex
Dear John: I am a college student who has been dating my boyfriend for three years, all of which have been long distance. I am graduating in the next few months and have accepted a job near him. We have plans to get married in the near future.
…Read more.
Professional Affair Upsets Career
Dear John: I've been having an affair with "Jack," a married co-worker, for three years. We both knew it was wrong, but a relationship started, then cooled off out of guilt.
Jack has been nervous around me lately. Currently, we've both …Read more.
Woman Worries She Was an 'Easy Target'
Dear John: I've just ended an abusive marriage. After leaving my husband, I have started seeing a man who is about five years younger than me, and once again, I have gotten burned pretty badly.
I think he saw me as an easy target because of my …Read more.
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JOHN GRAY'S MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUSDear John: I have been living with my boyfriend for over a year and a half. During this time, there have only been a couple of times during the month when we didn't have an argument over something trivial. When we argue, we don't speak to each other for several days. What can I do? I'm emotionally exhausted. Can we break this cycle? — Are We Having Fun Yet? in Douglasville, Ga. Dear Are We Having Fun Yet: Not speaking for several days is not really about leaving dishes in the sink or playing the TV to loud. When a couple argues over trivial issues, it is an indication that deeper issues are being left unaddressed. If there is a genuine desire on the part of both of you to improve this situation, start by committing to communicating honestly. Then ask him to join you in getting to the root of your relationship problems. This is a necessary step, if your goal is to save and develop your partnership. If your conversations toward this effort end up in a stalemate, consider working with a counselor in order to break through some of the emotional barriers that are holding you back. A relationship is only as good as two people are willing and prepared to make it.
Dear John: Every time I think I'm over my ex, he comes over to see our child and later we have sex. Of course, this encourages the feelings I have for him all over again. What should I do? — Ex with Benefits in Chula Vista, Calif. Dear Ex with Benefits: Women are far more likely than men to form attachments through intimacy, that later are difficult to break. Every time you have sex, it "encourages the feelings" that you have for him. It's not in your stars; it's in your hormones. Like any strong addiction, you have to push yourself away from this temptation. It's not easy to just say "no," but it can save you a lot of regret that lasts far longer than the pleasure. The sooner you learn to avoid this temptation, the sooner you can get on with the rest of your life. John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: comments@marsvenusliving.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 JOHN GRAY'S MARS VENUS ADVICE
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