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Lovelorn Single Laments Loss
Dear John: I am a 28-year-old male. I've recently had a breakup with my girlfriend of seven years. This has been the most painful experience I've ever had.
I deeply love and care for "Linda," but she is now currently dating someone else. I …Read more.
Boyfriend Moves in With Ex
Dear John: I am a college student who has been dating my boyfriend for three years, all of which have been long distance. I am graduating in the next few months and have accepted a job near him. We have plans to get married in the near future.
…Read more.
Professional Affair Upsets Career
Dear John: I've been having an affair with "Jack," a married co-worker, for three years. We both knew it was wrong, but a relationship started, then cooled off out of guilt.
Jack has been nervous around me lately. Currently, we've both …Read more.
Woman Worries She Was an 'Easy Target'
Dear John: I've just ended an abusive marriage. After leaving my husband, I have started seeing a man who is about five years younger than me, and once again, I have gotten burned pretty badly.
I think he saw me as an easy target because of my …Read more.
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JOHN GRAY'S MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUSDear John: My wife "Betsy" doesn't get along with my brother's wife. As a result, I only visit my brother when it's absolutely necessary. Even after a visit, we argue for days about my family. To make matters worse, my brother has children, which means my parents tend to give him and his wife most of the attention. Although I try to be as fair as possible on holidays and family occasions, an argument is inevitable. Betsy seems to feel that I put my family first. She says I don't stick up for her at all and seriously thinks my parents don't give her any consideration. I think this is an overreaction. Any advice? — It's a Family Affair in Fairfield, Calif. Dear It's a Family Affair: Although she may be overreacting to the situation, under the current circumstances, she is not getting equal appreciation or understanding. What you can do to lessen the stress of the situation is to give your wife the permission and support to vent her feelings about your family without you defending them. In other words, try being on her side so that she doesn't feel outnumbered. You can also give her the option to "pass" on a visit to your family without any guilt. Also, let your parents know that both you and Betsy look forward to their visits to your home, and give equal time to Betsy's parents. Remember, her reaction is in direct correlation to your support. The more devotion you demonstrate, the more secure she will feel. Dear John: How can I be happy when my boyfriend won't open up to me? I am 33 years old.
Now I'm wondering if I could ever be happy with a man who doesn't easily express himself. How do I get him to open up to me without running him off for good? —It Takes Two to Talk in Nashville, Tenn. Dear It Takes Two: Men who don't talk much sometimes appreciate it when the woman creates intimacy through conversation. The way to get a man to talk is to be open with your own thoughts. As you open up to him, he will open up as well. While trying to draw a man out, women will often make the mistake of asking too many questions. That won't necessarily work. Instead, try sharing what is going on in your life and ask for his opinion. In this manner, he sees his words can be of value to you, which will give him confidence and encourage him to be more expressive. For a man, talking is not the only expression of love. He may be the type that expresses himself through actions as opposed to words. By correctly interpreting these signs, love can grow. John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: comments@marsvenusliving.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 JOHN GRAY'S MARS VENUS ADVICE
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