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Lovelorn Single Laments Loss
Dear John: I am a 28-year-old male. I've recently had a breakup with my girlfriend of seven years. This has been the most painful experience I've ever had.
I deeply love and care for "Linda," but she is now currently dating someone else. I …Read more.
Boyfriend Moves in With Ex
Dear John: I am a college student who has been dating my boyfriend for three years, all of which have been long distance. I am graduating in the next few months and have accepted a job near him. We have plans to get married in the near future.
…Read more.
Professional Affair Upsets Career
Dear John: I've been having an affair with "Jack," a married co-worker, for three years. We both knew it was wrong, but a relationship started, then cooled off out of guilt.
Jack has been nervous around me lately. Currently, we've both …Read more.
Woman Worries She Was an 'Easy Target'
Dear John: I've just ended an abusive marriage. After leaving my husband, I have started seeing a man who is about five years younger than me, and once again, I have gotten burned pretty badly.
I think he saw me as an easy target because of my …Read more.
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JOHN GRAY'S MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUSDear John: I divorced my husband three years and have found dating to be fun and exciting, although it's also emotionally scary. I have met many wonderful men that would like to have a relationship with me, but I am not very tolerant of men who demonstrate a lack of confidence. At other times, I feel as if I am on trial — and I resent this. Is it possible that I've become too independent? — Alone and Loving it in Cincinnati Dear Alone and Loving It: It's OK to be cautious in your dating criteria. This is one way you can avoid making the same relationship mistakes two or more times. Then again, you should accept the fact that everyone has faults. The aim is to focus on issues of real importance and to put any emphasis on superficial characteristics aside. If, for example, the lack of confidence you mentioned has to do with a man's shyness, consider that he, too, is attempting to avoid rejection. If a shy person is put at ease with the concept that he is not going to be dismissed out of hand, but that his thoughts and ideas will be welcomed, he will become more relaxed and open. As for your concern that others may be putting you on trial, keep in mind that no one's opinion of you is more important than the opinion you hold of yourself. Dear John: My fiance and I haven't moved in together yet. The main reason is that I have pets and he claims to be allergic to them.
Dear Pets are People, Too: First, you need to determine whether this is about your pets or his past relationship. If it is the latter, then you need to discuss your feelings about moving into his place with him openly and honestly. If his allergies are truly the issue, then you can't disregard the seriousness of the issue. Moving into a new neutral space at this time is not a financially sound alternative so consider accommodating the animals in a different way. For example, in either location, you can put them out in the yard during the day, and then allow them in the attic, basement or garage at night. When you both decide that the time is right to trade up to a bigger home, include in your design criteria a similar or better arrangement for the cats. But remember: Your fiance is your first priority. John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: comments@marsvenusliving.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 JOHN GRAY'S MARS VENUS ADVICE
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