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Lovelorn Single Laments Loss
Dear John: I am a 28-year-old male. I've recently had a breakup with my girlfriend of seven years. This has been the most painful experience I've ever had.
I deeply love and care for "Linda," but she is now currently dating someone else. I …Read more.
Boyfriend Moves in With Ex
Dear John: I am a college student who has been dating my boyfriend for three years, all of which have been long distance. I am graduating in the next few months and have accepted a job near him. We have plans to get married in the near future.
…Read more.
Professional Affair Upsets Career
Dear John: I've been having an affair with "Jack," a married co-worker, for three years. We both knew it was wrong, but a relationship started, then cooled off out of guilt.
Jack has been nervous around me lately. Currently, we've both …Read more.
Woman Worries She Was an 'Easy Target'
Dear John: I've just ended an abusive marriage. After leaving my husband, I have started seeing a man who is about five years younger than me, and once again, I have gotten burned pretty badly.
I think he saw me as an easy target because of my …Read more.
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JOHN GRAY'S MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUSDear John: Help! I am 41 years old and divorced. My potential date is 46 years old and he is also divorced. I hate, hate, hate first dates! What can I do to make it more enjoyable for the both of us? What should I talk about? What shouldn't I talk about? Help me, John! — First Date-itis in Savannah, Ga. Dear First Date-itis: The first step to enjoying dating is to take a deep breath and relax. Anxiety ruins any and all relationships. The next step is to put the concept of a first date into perspective. Don't presume that this romantic prospect is "the one." After all, very few people recognize a soul mate on a first date. Instead, seek a platonic relationship. That way, should there be any romantic chemistry, it will be built on a foundation of trust and respect. The third step is to remember that you have a lot to offer. After all, you are a confident, interesting, witty, intelligent person loved by your friends and your family. This is the person you want the world to see — including your new romantic prospect. The more comfortable you are with you, the more attractive you are to others. Good luck on this and other dates. Dear John: When my fiance and I get into an argument, he tells me that I better stop because "someone will get hit." He also raises his voice, curses, speaks very arrogantly and shouts. I don't answer him because whenever I tell him he is being disrespectful, he tells me that I am making him raise his voice and make those threats.
We have been together for about a year, and we've been engaged for 30 days. I have a 3-year-old and want to do my best for her. I love my fiance, but I don't want to put my daughter or myself into any physically or orally abusive relationship. Any advice? — Worried in Evanston, Ill. Dear Worried: Relationships, like society as a whole, are able to function because of standards of acceptable behavior. The conduct that you are seeing in your fiance, as you know, is outside of the bounds of acceptable behavior. Now beyond abandoning the relationship all together, you can, if you wish, attempt to lay down certain conditions — one of which should be his agreement to attend a few sessions with a relationship counselor with you, or his willingness to participate in an anger management program. Guiding him in that direction need not be your sole responsibility. The important thing for you to come to terms with is that the current situation is unacceptable to you and needs to be changed or ended. Indecision on your part is a bad decision at this time. John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: comments@marsvenusliving.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 JOHN GRAY'S MARS VENUS ADVICE
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