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Professional Affair Upsets Career
Dear John: I've been having an affair with "Jack," a married co-worker, for three years. We both knew it was wrong, but a relationship started, then cooled off out of guilt.
Jack has been nervous around me lately. Currently, we've both …Read more.
Woman Worries She Was an 'Easy Target'
Dear John: I've just ended an abusive marriage. After leaving my husband, I have started seeing a man who is about five years younger than me, and once again, I have gotten burned pretty badly.
I think he saw me as an easy target because of my …Read more.
Newlyweds Face Divorce
Dear John: Is the first year of marriage the easiest or the hardest? I am a 21-year-old man, and my wife is 19 years old. We're trying hard to make a marriage work, but I don't know if we'll survive beyond the first 12 months. What tips can you give …Read more.
BFF May Lose More Than Morals in Vegas
Dear John: I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding for a BFF. Before the big day, we'll all be going to Las Vegas. I have mixed feelings about this, because I know that the bride sees this as an opportunity for a "last fling." Her excuse is that she …Read more.
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Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, October 18Dear John: Recently I met a great guy, "Paul." We share many of the same interests and are so comfortable with each other in every way. But one issue stands between us: Paul likes me to wear very short skirts or dresses and the highest of high heels or boots. I am an attractive 50-year-old woman and am rather proud of how slim I am, but I am beyond uncomfortable in this type of clothing. Paul purchased at least a dozen of these types of outfits for my birthday, and I could not hide my feelings. I told him I would wear them at home for him, but I could not go out in public in such revealing clothing. He says I look great and should show myself off. I feel I don't need to reveal so much of my flesh to the world! We are beginning to argue a lot over this. What do you think? — Modest in Marietta, Ga. Dear Modest: I think you should never feel compelled to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. That includes wearing clothes that offend you. That said, thank Paul for the gesture but hold firm to your position. Suggest that he return the items. You could go together to pick out other items that would make you happy to wear in public, or find lingerie that both of you may enjoy in the privacy of your bedroom. If he refuses to accept this compromise, I would suggest that you take a pass on Paul for a less controlling guy with more discriminating taste. Dear John: I recently started a relationship with my best guy pal.
Dear Kissing and Telling: Sure, you can work this out — if both of you are willing to take criticism without being offended. If you prefer some tongue action, let him know. If you prefer that his mouth not resemble the Lincoln Tunnel, then say so. But remember, it's not what you say but how you say it, particularly in issues of romantic performance. For example, you might say, "Honey, I'd prefer to feel your tongue, like this …" then demonstrate. After you've given your opinion, be fair and ask for his. Half the fun of kissing is experimenting, so take your time to explore the possibilities. John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: comments@marsvenusliving.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 JOHN GRAY'S MARS VENUS ADVICE
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