JOHN GRAY'S MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS by John Gray on Creators.com

Recently

Woman Worries She Was an 'Easy Target' Dear John: I've just ended an abusive marriage. After leaving my husband, I have started seeing a man who is about five years younger than me, and once again, I have gotten burned pretty badly. I think he saw me as an easy target because of my …Read more. Newlyweds Face Divorce Dear John: Is the first year of marriage the easiest or the hardest? I am a 21-year-old man, and my wife is 19 years old. We're trying hard to make a marriage work, but I don't know if we'll survive beyond the first 12 months. What tips can you give …Read more. BFF May Lose More Than Morals in Vegas Dear John: I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding for a BFF. Before the big day, we'll all be going to Las Vegas. I have mixed feelings about this, because I know that the bride sees this as an opportunity for a "last fling." Her excuse is that she …Read more. My Boyfriend Is a Honking Goose Dear John: I'm in my late 20s. Currently, I'm dating a really sweet guy. My problem: When he blows his nose — which is often — he sounds like a honking goose. It's gotten to the point where I find it annoying. Your opinion counts, …Read more.

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus July 16

Dear John: My brother and his wife are dealing with issues over infertility. Needless to say, it's having a negative effect on their marriage. John, he refuses to talk to me about it, but he loves your column. Maybe this is the place in which you can reach out to him, and your other readers who are facing the same discouraging news. — An Older Brother, Who Cares

Dear Older Brother: You're a great friend as well as a wonderful sibling.

You're right: Infertility is a medical condition that affects one out of every six couples. Many, perhaps even your brother, grieve for this loss. It's as if they have lost a child. Therefore the same stages of grief and healing apply.

For those who cannot conceive, I'd suggest they consider individual counseling for this emotional trauma. Getting information and sharing feelings with others who have had the same experience is an important part of the healing process. In the hope that he not feel alone in his pain, please also suggest that he consider group counseling with other couples who have experienced infertility. For more information, he should contact Resolve.org, a national infertility association organized to deal specifically with this issue.

Another organization, Adoption Alliance, hopes such couples will consider the joys of adoption. Its website is http://www.adoptall.org. I invite your brother and my other readers to check it out.

Dear John: I'm a 19 year-old girl with a 20 year-old boyfriend. Jeff's friends are losers. By this, I mean they all drink excessively and do drugs.

I want better for us than that. Our most recent argument was over whether Jeff and I should go with them to get drugs. I threatened to leave him if he did this. He called me a name that made me so mad that I spit in his face. He then put his arm around my throat. To make long story short, I went to the police and reported it. Now I'm not supposed to talk to him, but I do. Should I stay and work this out, or will the violence just get worse? — Shaken, in Medford, Ore.

Dear Shaken: OK, let's put things in perspective: The guy you love hangs with people you consider losers, he shows you little or no respect, takes illegal drugs, calls you names, and tried to strangle you. Hello? What makes you think you deserve this?

I think you know that you deserve better. If he hangs with losers, it's because he doesn't have the self-esteem to move beyond them. If you hang with him, this says a lot about you as well. Please, do yourself a favor. Walk away from this situation. If he indeed wants a loving, caring relationship with you, he will prove it — by treating you with the respect you deserve, and by associating with people both of you can respect, and those that can and will respect him. The best relationships succeed when faced by real tests of endurance. This is one of those times. If he rises to the occasion, great, if not, know that you can, without him.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: comments@marsvenusliving.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.