Mars and Venus by John Gray

Dear John: My boyfriend is a few years older than me and is very concerned about his sexual prowess. When we make love, it is always close, sweet and satisfying. Still, he worries that he is not satisfying me and will not take my word for it. How do I convince him that he is a wonderful lover to me? — Satisfied, in Hartford, Conn.

Dear Satisfied: It's rare indeed to know a man who won't accept praise for his abilities as a lover. Perhaps you're just not reaching him with your message. In the future, don't just limit your remarks to those times when you linger in the afterglow of a physical interlude, but comment appreciatively the next day. Best yet, ask him if he would share himself with you again later that evening. On a variety of topics, many Martians are a bit hard of hearing. But if you repeat yourself, believe me, he'll eventually hear you.

Dear John: Recently, I read your article on stress-related eating as a result of work stress, and I saw myself in what you said (particularly with all the layoffs in our office).

Can you give me some pointers on how to counteract this habit? — Chubby, but Still Employed, in Denver, Colo.

Dear Still Employed: Stress eating is as much a problem for men as it is for women. The source of stress can be anything from a relationship breakup to marriage concerns to job worries. Some people offset this stress by eating too much, or munching on the wrong things.

We are all aware of why we eat, whether it is to quell hunger, or to calm ourselves. For example, midmorning or afternoon snacks are often hunger-related. However, sitting in front of the television and working your way through a bowl of chips or a container of ice cream may well be stress-driven. By being honest with yourself as to why you are eating, you can learn to substitute positive behaviors that are stress reducers, say, an aerobics class, yoga, or even a walk around the neighborhood.

To counteract a caloric catastrophe from stress-related eating consider stocking your kitchen with healthy snacks. That way, should you feel the urge to nip a little or a lot, you can satisfy your cravings with fresh fruits, vegetables or a cup of yogurt. Good nutrition is calming. And if you look good, you free great.