Mars and Venus by John Gray

Dear John: "Tom" and I have been going out for close to two years. I love him very much, but I feel uncomfortable when he hangs out with my best friend. He has known her most of his life, and about three years ago, prior to our relationship, they had a crush on each other. Sometimes I feel that I can't compete with their closeness. Am I jumping to conclusions? — Third Wheel? In Augusta, Ga.

Dear Third Wheel: This is a trust issue. Has he given you any reason not to trust him? Does she flirt openly with him, or give you any reason to think that she would risk the friendship she has with you for something that would tear the three of you apart?

If so, then yes, you do have something to worry about. If not, then don't think you have to worry about it.

Lasting relationships are built on trust. Sometimes our past experiences make us doubt our current situation.

Don't mistake your boyfriend or your girlfriend for someone else. Your self-assurance is what drew him to you in the first place, so use it now to get you through your doubts.

Dear John: It makes me feel good to do things for the man I love. I make dinner every night, and I also make his lunch, and I bring him his coffee in the morning. I have been told I am stupid to do these things. We are both in our mid-40s. — His Wish Is My Command, in Jackson, Miss.

Dear His Wish: Performing random acts of kindness for those we love most is the most fulfilling way to spend our time.

Hopefully, the recipient of this love appreciates it, and shows this, with lots of thank-you's and kisses. If not, remind him to say thank you now and then, because that in turn keeps you happy.

As for your friends and their remarks, as long as you don't feel put out, why should others care, or for that matter comment on your actions? Ignore them. They should be so lucky!