Temper Problems Causing Tiffs With Girlfriend Dear John: My girlfriend claims I am very argumentative — which I am. Needless to say, we fight constantly. Sometimes, though, I feel as if she is picking on me and that I have to defend myself. She says it's no use arguing with her, because …Read more. Divorce Is a Painful Experience Dear John: I have been divorced for two years now. I did not want the divorce, so it was a particularly painful experience. My ex-husband still attends my family gatherings. And it hurts every time I see him! Although my children are from another …Read more. Physical Relationship With Co-Worker Becoming Complicated Dear John: A couple of months after starting a new job, one of my colleagues and I got physically involved after an office party. Unfortunately, now he has informed me that he is steadily seeing someone else. Still, he'd like us to "stay friends." …Read more. Husband Trying to Make Amends for Mistakes Dear John: I'm a 41-year-old man married for 16 years to a great woman. Unfortunately, many times during our marriage, I have lied to her regarding simple matters, because I thought they were no big deal, and I didn't want to get her angry. For …Read more.more articles
Husband Cheated 4 Times
Dear John: My husband has cheated on me about four times since we've been married. He claims that he slept with these other women because of my attitude at home and because of his distrust of me. I think he did exactly what he wanted to do, and I have been battling with this realization. Sometimes I want to walk away from this marriage, but, because I have children, I am hesitant to leave. I care about my husband. He is a great friend, but I don't know if I really love him anymore. —Cheated, in Scranton, Pa.
Dear Cheated: Your husband is not a great "friend," let alone an honest person or a caring husband. His claim that he did not trust you has nothing to do with his infidelity, nor did your "attitude" create this problem. He is unwilling to take the blame for his own actions. Worse yet, he looks to blame you. Staying in this marriage "for the children" is not smart. They can see what is happening. Not only will they lose respect for you, they may take your acceptance as approval for this kind of behavior and copy it for themselves. Is that what you want?
I don't think so. Marriage is a sacred bond between two people who love and respect each other. Ask him to reconsider his behavior. If he won't, then you should reconsider your life with him.
Dear John: My girlfriend "Cindy" and I have been together for a year, and we have lived together for most of that time.
Dear Wanting: Cindy is stringing both of you along. It's her way of keeping her options open. Frankly, it's not fair to either one of you and is probably quite confusing to her two children, as well. Tell her you need a commitment, but don't hold your breath that she is willing to make it. You've got a lot to offer some woman.
Unfortunately, that woman is probably not Cindy. At this point, it would be wise of you to go back out there and find someone who can appreciate your love and who is willing to return it to you with equal devotion.
2012 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased.