Husband Doesn't Talk About His Worries Dear John: My husband, "Max," will not talk about things that worry him. I guess he thinks if he doesn't talk about them, everything will be all right. There is no touching in our marriage, no sex, no romance. I love him, and I know he loves me. He …Read more. Boyfriend's Laziness in Academics Is Bothersome Dear John: It bothers me that my boyfriend, "Austin," is having trouble finishing up his undergraduate degree. I don't care as much about the diploma as I do his lack of energy in finishing what he has already started. I know Austin is highly …Read more. Marriage at a Dead End Dear John: My wife "Linda" and I are approaching our 19th anniversary. We are at a dead end in our relationship. We are both in our mid-40s, with high-pressure professional careers: Linda is a director of human resources, and I am a professor of …Read more. Ex-Husband Paying More Attention to New Family Dear John: My ex-husband "Ruben" got married one year after we divorced. We have two boys ages 16 and 20. The older son doesn't have much to do with his father. Our younger son sees him about once every month. After dating this woman for two months, …Read more.more articles
Husband Cheated 4 Times
Dear John: My husband has cheated on me about four times since we've been married. He claims that he slept with these other women because of my attitude at home and because of his distrust of me. I think he did exactly what he wanted to do, and I have been battling with this realization. Sometimes I want to walk away from this marriage, but, because I have children, I am hesitant to leave. I care about my husband. He is a great friend, but I don't know if I really love him anymore. —Cheated, in Scranton, Pa.
Dear Cheated: Your husband is not a great "friend," let alone an honest person or a caring husband. His claim that he did not trust you has nothing to do with his infidelity, nor did your "attitude" create this problem. He is unwilling to take the blame for his own actions. Worse yet, he looks to blame you. Staying in this marriage "for the children" is not smart. They can see what is happening. Not only will they lose respect for you, they may take your acceptance as approval for this kind of behavior and copy it for themselves. Is that what you want?
I don't think so. Marriage is a sacred bond between two people who love and respect each other. Ask him to reconsider his behavior. If he won't, then you should reconsider your life with him.
Dear John: My girlfriend "Cindy" and I have been together for a year, and we have lived together for most of that time.
Dear Wanting: Cindy is stringing both of you along. It's her way of keeping her options open. Frankly, it's not fair to either one of you and is probably quite confusing to her two children, as well. Tell her you need a commitment, but don't hold your breath that she is willing to make it. You've got a lot to offer some woman.
Unfortunately, that woman is probably not Cindy. At this point, it would be wise of you to go back out there and find someone who can appreciate your love and who is willing to return it to you with equal devotion.
2012 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased.