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John Gray


How Much Does Hair Have to Do With a Person's Attractiveness? Dear John: How does hair color and style contribute to how much a person would find a potential partner attractive? Considering the amount of money hair care companies spend on creating new products, such as dyes, relaxants, shampoos, styling gels …Read more. Stepson Has Problematic Girlfriend Dear John: My 24-year-old stepson recently introduced us to his new girlfriend. She is 12 years older than him, which makes her just 10 years younger than my husband and me. She's loud and a big flirt who knows no boundaries. In fact, she has even …Read more. Threesome Tension Dear John: Recently, my husband shared with me that he would like to have a threesome with another female. I know this is pretty much a fantasy many guys have. After stating this, he said he would leave it up to me if it happened or not. And now, I'…Read more. Unhealthy Attraction Dear John: I have a crush on a woman at my work. She is several years older than I am, and is married with two kids. I know that this is an unhealthy attraction. The trouble is, I don't know how to fall out of love with her. I'm extremely shy around …Read more.
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Husband Cheated 4 Times


Dear John: My husband has cheated on me about four times since we've been married. He claims that he slept with these other women because of my attitude at home and because of his distrust of me. I think he did exactly what he wanted to do, and I have been battling with this realization. Sometimes I want to walk away from this marriage, but, because I have children, I am hesitant to leave. I care about my husband. He is a great friend, but I don't know if I really love him anymore. —Cheated, in Scranton, Pa.

Dear Cheated: Your husband is not a great "friend," let alone an honest person or a caring husband. His claim that he did not trust you has nothing to do with his infidelity, nor did your "attitude" create this problem. He is unwilling to take the blame for his own actions. Worse yet, he looks to blame you. Staying in this marriage "for the children" is not smart. They can see what is happening. Not only will they lose respect for you, they may take your acceptance as approval for this kind of behavior and copy it for themselves. Is that what you want?

I don't think so. Marriage is a sacred bond between two people who love and respect each other. Ask him to reconsider his behavior. If he won't, then you should reconsider your life with him.

Dear John: My girlfriend "Cindy" and I have been together for a year, and we have lived together for most of that time.

Cindy's ex-boyfriend "Mike" has been a constant obstacle in our relationship. He has our phone number and calls frequently, as much as three or four times a day! In the past, Cindy has cheated on me with him, although she claims she doesn't want to get back together with Mike, but she doesn't want him completely out of her life because Mike is very attached to Cindy's two little girls. Cindy says that she hopes that eventually they can be "just friends." I don't understand this at all! Is there any real potential for us? —Wanting it to Work, in Louisville, Ky.

Dear Wanting: Cindy is stringing both of you along. It's her way of keeping her options open. Frankly, it's not fair to either one of you and is probably quite confusing to her two children, as well. Tell her you need a commitment, but don't hold your breath that she is willing to make it. You've got a lot to offer some woman.

Unfortunately, that woman is probably not Cindy. At this point, it would be wise of you to go back out there and find someone who can appreciate your love and who is willing to return it to you with equal devotion.

2012 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased.


11 Comments | Post Comment
LW1: Wow. John nailed it.

LW2: John is on a roll today. But I'd take it further by saying this woman has serious character issues. Any woman with children who moves in with a man that fast is loose with serious self-esteem issues. Women with serious esteem issues cheat repeatedly. You should get therapy to help you discover why you would choose a woman like that.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Diana
Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:14 PM
Diana, I can't agree. LW2 should dump his cheating girlfriend, not get therapy. (And I say that as a former therapist.) (You don't know how many times I wanted to say to a client who was intent on endlessly exploring her/his motivations for being in a bad relationship, "Just dump him! (or her).")(They would tend to want to stay in the bad relationship and "learn" from it, and talk about how trying to relate to a sour, morose person who was unable to give or be honest with them, was helping them to "work through their stuff.")(Which some therapists would happily encourage, because someone who spends forever working through their "stuff" while staying in a bad situation, is a cash cow to the therapist!)
Comment: #2
Posted by: sarah morrow
Sun Nov 18, 2012 3:27 PM
LW2 needs to dump the girlfriend. If he still wants to explore his motivations, well, he'll probably find that dumping the girlfriend resolves most of his issues. After that, he can look for someone better, which shouldn't be difficult. Is "Mike" even the father of the girls?
Comment: #3
Posted by: LouisaFinnell
Sun Nov 18, 2012 8:06 PM
sarah morrow: you need to read both John's answer to LW2 and Diana's comment on it a little more closely. John said Cindy is probably not a good choice for LW2 and that he should get back out there to find someone who can appreciate him; Diana endorsed what John said and added that it would be good for LW to get some therapy to figure out why he continues to remain attracted to someone who treats him so poorly.

The LOGICAL response to a romantic partner who treats you as poorly and as disrespectfully as Cindy is treating LW2 is to dump them. LW hasn't done that -- he instead writes to someone else to say "I don't get why she's doing this! Do we have potential???" WHAT???

Diana nailed this. He needs to dump Cindy, as John recommended, and figure out why he'd even question whether he should stay in the relationship. Unless the answer is "Because she's superhot and duh, I wasn't thinking with my brain," that probably means some counseling would help him.
Comment: #4
Posted by: hedgehog
Mon Nov 19, 2012 1:18 PM
I dated a girl for about six months that I totally feel for. We got along great never fought but one night, i had much drink on me and then got a little jealous and then embarrassed her in front of her friends. because of that she broke up with me right there and then. for the first week i tried to do everything in my power to get her back and then i didn't call her for a couple of weeks. we did email but she stated that i had embarrassed her and that she would never put herself through this again and that was the only thing that broke us up. (during this time, i actually contacted a spell caster to help me put things together with his love spell and it helped me alot After this spell was done i waited about 3 days and the next day she sent me a light hearted text in which i responded back to. we came back to together and for about a week now we are still together.
Comment: #5
Posted by: shibu
Sat Nov 24, 2012 6:25 AM
sarah morrow: thank you-I had never thought of some therapist's seeing you as a "cash cow." A gullible person would not think that possible. Of course being a gullible person could have been why they were seeing the therapist in the first place.
Comment: #6
Posted by: J
Sat Nov 24, 2012 7:54 AM
When I eventually found testimonies about this spell caster dr.marnish, how he helped many people to get their lover back, i contacted him through his email address because I was absolutely desperate to get my husband back. Life without my husband was a real mess for me and my children. i wanted a dramatic change and I thought magic could be the solution. After discussing the resolution with dr.marnish, he gave me hope that he will restore my marriage. I felt confident that he will actually make my husband to return home and he did! It's fantastic what dr marnish have done for me. his help is priceless! I don't know what I would have done without dr.marnish, dr marnish does his job so well he is organized and highly functional, i believe he is the best spell caster i can count on when it comes to love spell, I was floored that his spells worked Thanks! cherry Smith, Nottingham, UK
Comment: #7
Posted by: cherry Smith
Fri Mar 15, 2013 8:33 AM

i heard so many things about dr.marnish and every story has been so great. so here is my story me and the father of my son has been off and on for 3 years its been a very stressful relationship. he cheated on me and i was very hurt, it was miserable for me so in returned i cheated because i wanted him to feel the pain but he never cares so we went apart, so he went back to his ex .i wanted him to leave her and let us come back together, i love him so much and i just want him to feel the same way feel for him, luckly for me was the one who brought my lover back to me, he is a good spell caster
Comment: #8
Posted by: prabaragupathy
Fri Mar 15, 2013 8:53 AM
When I married my husband I was already pregnant and so I didn't have a job. He had a really good job though so I was able to stay home and take care of our son when it was born. When we had our second child we moved to a bigger house, but then strange things started to happen. Things would fly off the walls and doors would slam at night. Our oldest son talked about seeing figures and hearing voices. We consulted a medium and they said the house was haunted. After living there about a year more with only minor occurrences we moved out. That was when the bad luck started to happen. Everything started to fail, with my husband's job, our money and our luck in general. I went back to the same medium and they told me that a spirit had followed me and placed a curse upon me for disturbing it and not being respectful in the previous house. He tried to remove it but was unable. The misfortune kept going on and getting more severe as I tried to search out someone to break the curse. But when I found Dr.Azonto spell he finally did it. Things started turning around almost immediately after he cast the spell and have been great from there! This was really a miracle for us, thank you . spell from the bottom of my heart!
Posted by. miss Sandra Chali
Comment: #9
Posted by: Sandra Chali
Wed Aug 21, 2013 5:53 AM

My ex broke up with me for the fact that he wanted space, i tried telling him how much i love him but he was just so stubborn, he suddenly changed, he started cheating, I was so hurt and depressed. so a friend suggested the idea of contacting a spell caster, which I never thought of myself. after i contacted robinsonbuckler@yahoo. com for his help. I asked him to do a love spell for me so that my lover can come back to me, but before the spell was done, I was a bit skeptical about the capacity to bring my lover back to me. 3 days after the spell was actually cast, my lover transformed, he returned to me and since then there is no more mistrust and no more lies between us. He doesn't cheat anymore. there is no word to say how grateful I am, I am leaving a testimonial on this page, Mr Robinson 's number is +19715126745
Comment: #10
Posted by: Emily BRANDON
Sun Jun 29, 2014 3:15 PM
Hello, At this moment i will want to share my testimony with you, how my ex was brought back to me. i have been divorced and i have tried finding another woman but none was forth coming. I met a friend who introduced me to a spell caster that helped me bring back my Wife, i am so delighted as i write this, i have been on here for a while and i want everyone out here to know that you can still make up with your ex with the help of HIGH PRIEST OZIGIDIDON who helped me.. now my family is a changed family and me and my wife loved each other like never before. I am a living testimony and i will not stop sharing my testimony. you can meet His HIGH PRIEST OZIGIDIDON so he can help you in whatever spell you want him to help you with. he can be gotten on I know he will never fail you and you will come back and thank me later. I am a fulfilled man now
Comment: #11
Posted by: harrybrownzzy
Sun Feb 22, 2015 2:40 PM
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