Rocky Relationship With Kids Involved Dear John, I have been with Adam for over three years. Our relationship runs hot and cold. We both have children from prior marriages, and we have set schedules with our spouses concerning the children, but sometimes that doesn't work. For example, …Read more. Concern Over Husband's Drug Use Dear John, My husband and I have a good relationship, but just one problem concerns me: He is a drug user. This happens whenever he goes out with his friends. Once, at a party, he used Ecstasy. Whenever I warn him that his use of various drugs may …Read more. Choosing Between a Spouse and the Other Woman Dear John, Although I am married, I have done without love and romance for years. Recently I met Cindy, who has rekindled feelings that I had repressed. It is like a new awakening for me! Feelings that I thought were lost have returned. The problem …Read more. Husband Is Old-School Dear John, My husband Jack is of the "old school." He thinks that husbands should be cared for and waited on, and I've done this for 37 years. Well, I can't do it all anymore. I have fibromyalgia, which causes acute muscle pain and getting …Read more.more articles
Friend Lost Husband in Tragic Accident
Dear John, My friend Susie recently lost her husband in a tragic accident. Since then, Susie has been chasing everyone else's husband, lying and causing fights. I know that Susie is in pain, but she talks as if she is actually trying to catch one of these guys, and she has most of them wrapped around her finger. How can I help her? —Worried, in Cincinnati, Ohio
Dear Worried, Strong relationships aren't going to crumble because of overt flirting. If these guys are looking for trouble, they'll find it, with or without Susie. At the same time, Susie has forgotten that friendships are built on trust, and right now her actions are not trustworthy. They are a cry for help.
Meet with her alone. Tell her that you love her, as do your other friends, and that everyone realizes that she is in a lot of pain, but her actions are jeopardizing friendships. Suggest that she consider grief counseling. Be prepared to give her the name of a local support group or counselor. The rest is up to Susie. If she is ready to move beyond her grief and anger, she now knows she has the love and support of her friends to do so
Dear John, I met this beautiful woman and everything was OK until I offered her a drink.
To make a long story short, she didn't call me the next day, or the next week. Finally, I called her. She's not interested! Do I have any chance of winning her back? —Frustrated, in Newport Beach, Calif.
Dear Frustrated, She gave you a message, loud and clear: she'd prefer to be around a guy who doesn't drink. Considering her past experience, this is understandable. Knowing this, the decision is now yours. If your feelings are deep enough for a lasting commitment, be the man she wants. Otherwise, you won't be attractive to her. Then again, if casual drinking is part of who you are, find someone who doesn't mind. Otherwise, you'll resent her for pushing you in that direction, and that wouldn't be fair to either of you.
2013 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased.
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