"Pet Passion" by John Gray on Creators.com

Recently

Professional Affair Upsets Career Dear John: I've been having an affair with "Jack," a married co-worker, for three years. We both knew it was wrong, but a relationship started, then cooled off out of guilt. Jack has been nervous around me lately. Currently, we've both …Read more. Woman Worries She Was an 'Easy Target' Dear John: I've just ended an abusive marriage. After leaving my husband, I have started seeing a man who is about five years younger than me, and once again, I have gotten burned pretty badly. I think he saw me as an easy target because of my …Read more. Newlyweds Face Divorce Dear John: Is the first year of marriage the easiest or the hardest? I am a 21-year-old man, and my wife is 19 years old. We're trying hard to make a marriage work, but I don't know if we'll survive beyond the first 12 months. What tips can you give …Read more. BFF May Lose More Than Morals in Vegas Dear John: I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding for a BFF. Before the big day, we'll all be going to Las Vegas. I have mixed feelings about this, because I know that the bride sees this as an opportunity for a "last fling." Her excuse is that she …Read more.

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus May 3

Dear John: I've recently started dating after four years of being widowed. I'm wondering how to tell the person I date that the thought of being intimate with someone else right now is still very disconcerting for me. After all, I've never been truly intimate with anyone besides late husband. I am nervous about this, and am not sure how to approach this subject if the question arises! -- New At This, in Port Townsend, Wash.

Dear New At This: You should approach the issue as you've done so here: honestly, and with an open heart. If your friend has committed feelings for you, he will understand what you are saying and take his time. Sex between two consenting adults of any age is a beautiful, wonderful experience. Passion arises out of a desire to feel both an emotional and physical connection with those we love. If he loves you, he will wait. If you love him, eventually you will move beyond any guilt or hesitancy you feel, and rediscover the joy that intimacy offers.

Dear John: Please help me! I am a 27-year old woman who's been dating a 24-year old virgin for almost a month. He's very shy, and won't come out of his shell. He expects me to start conversations, call him and just let him know if I want to go out. I have had intimate relationships, but I am traditional. I wait for the man to make a move, ask me out, etc. And on top of all this, I am older than him. Do you think we can make it work? -- Taking the Lead, in Galveston, Texas

Dear Taking the Lead: Clearly you have a strong attraction to this shy guy. However, as I'm sure you already know, not every man comes packaged with all the desired traits all ready there, as Dolly Levi, the fictional matchmaker once said, sometimes you have to "shape a little and mold a little."

There are many reasons for shy guys to be shy, so without putting him on the couch to find out if his shyness is rooted in his personality or an overbearing parent, here is a simple and practical approach: Educate him.

Let him know that you welcome his calls.

Tell him that you want him to suggest the date and where to go for the evening. That said, let him follow through. By taking off the social training wheels, he'll get his own sense of balance. Believe me, if he wants to hold onto you, he'll take your suggestions to heart.

"Pet Passion"

Most couples align with each other on the issues of their pets, too. In a recent poll Mars Venus/SingleMindedWomen.com poll of 1,182 women, 18 percent say that both they and their significant others love any and all animals. Another 44 percent claim to be pooch lovers along with the men in their lives, while 9 percent say they both love cats. However, 14 percent say that he loves dogs although she loves cats and 3 percent are pup-friendly, while their guys are partial to felines. The final 12 percent agree with their men that animals are better left outside the relationship.

Full results are shown below. To take part in this week's Mars Venus/ SingleMindedWomen.com poll, log on to: www.singlemindedwomen.com

Do you and your guy match up in the pet department?

He's a dog person; I'm a cat person. 14 percent

He's a cat person; I'm a dog person. 3 percent

We both love dogs. 44 percent

We both love cats. 9 percent

We both love any and all animals. 18 percent

We both can do without the zoo. 12 percent

TOTAL: 1,182

NOTE: Because poll percentages are rounded, total values may not work out to 100 percent. Poll results are not scientific and reflect only the opinions of those users who choose to partake.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: www.marsvenusliving.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.