Hey, Cherie! by Cherie Bennett

Hey, Cherie!

I am an overachieving guy in ninth grade. That is my problem. I am a really good student, a really good athlete, I can sing pretty well and play guitar, and I have a cute girlfriend who I really like. I can do art, I am involved at my church, and I volunteered on the Obama campaign last year by handing out campaign literature in my neighborhood.

I do well on standardized tests, I can cook, and one of my hobbies is repairing cars. Cherie, there really isn't anything in the world that I can't do.

This is not so easy. I know that there are kids who are jealous of me, or else they don't even want to try to be my friend because they will not be able to keep up with me. Cherie, I am who I am and I don't want to change. But I do not want people to think I'm stuck on myself because I'm not.

— Good at Almost Everything

Hey, Everything!

You're a very talented guy, which makes you very lucky. Luckier than most. I am not so lucky. Can I list some of the many things that I am not good at? Algebra. Skiing. Drywalling. Speaking Sanskrit. Reading novels written before the Civil War. And that's just for starters.

Now, your letter got me wondering. I once heard the Los Angeles-based radio talk show host Dennis Prager — with who I very often disagree, but he never fails to make me think — give a talk (on tape!) about schools, grades and goodness. I kind of remember Prager saying that it's a shame that schools can't pay as much attention to turning out good people as they do to turning out educated people. (Mr. Prager: If I my memory faltered, I apologize.)

Here's the point I want to make: Ability does not equal goodness.

Although we have a society that puts a lot of emphasis on what a person can do and how well he or she does it, I wonder sometimes if we ought to put some real emphasis on how good a person is and what they do with that goodness.

You're afraid that people are going to shun you because you're talented at everything? If you do the dirtiest job at the local homeless shelter as a volunteer, labor on the stage crew instead of taking the lead in the school play, or start doing some actions that are good instead of great, I can almost guarantee there will be no shunning. And if there is? Well, those folks will have missed out on a chance to be friends with an accomplished person as well as a fine person. I'd say it's their loss, no?

Hey, Cherie!

My school had a program about bullying. I agreed with a lot of the stuff in the program, like you shouldn't tell someone that they are fat and ugly or say something is so gay. I also agree that you should speak up when someone is bullied.

But the speaker said that you shouldn't even tell someone that you don't want to be friends: "I don't want to be your friend." Cherie, I think that's ridiculous for obvious reasons. Why can't you say that?

— Speaking Out

Hey, Speaking!

There's bullying, and then there's going maybe one step too far in protecting people's feelings. The important thing is not to be a bully or be cruel to other kids because it makes you feel good. But it sounds to me like not being able to say that you don't want to be someone's friend would be a lot more hurtful in elementary school than in high school. Now, if you do find yourself having to say it to someone? Please, say it gently.

Cherie Bennett is a best-selling author of books for teens and young adults. Visit her website at www.cheriebennett.com. To find out more about Cherie Bennett and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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