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Correcting Adults: Right Thing or Big Mouth?

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Hey, Cherie!

I'm the girl with the big mouth, and I'm proud of it.

I am a 16-year-old girl, and when I see someone doing the wrong thing, I am not afraid to say so. For example, when I am shopping for my family at the supermarket and trying to go in the express line, which is the line for 15 items or less. If there is someone with 20 items in the same line ahead of me, I am not afraid to tell that person that they should gather their items and go to another line, because they're holding the rest of us up. If I am at a movie and there is a person with a crying baby, I am usually the first one to say, "Get your baby out of the theater so the rest of us can enjoy the movie!"

Before you say that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, or that the person who has no sin should cast the first stone, I want to say I am not throwing rocks and am not afraid to have my own behavior corrected, either. Like when someone criticized the way I back up in a car by looking over the wrong shoulder. I tried it the other way, and they were right!

I have had friends tell me I have a big mouth and it is not respectful. What do you think?

— Not Afraid to Speak Up

Hey, Not Afraid!

Great question. Difficult question. I can see how some might think it's disrespectful for a teen to correct a grown-up. On the other hand, you're mostly saying the things that many people think, but a lot of us don't have the courage to say. Would your rebukes have more weight if they were delivered by someone the same age as the grown-up you are rebuking? Probably. They might get listened to more. There are times, though, when grown-ups don't speak up when they see something wrong happening.

There are times when even a business manager doesn't speak up.

So, I'm going out on a limb here and will probably irritate the kids-should-be-seen-and-not-heard element of my readership. If you are willing to be corrected yourself, if you are simply trying to enforce an obvious rule, if you are doing it with politeness and not with venom and if you can deal with a grown-up ignoring you, I say go for it. I actually wish I had some of the courage you have at age 16. There'd be a lot fewer movies interrupted by crying babies or people texting in the row in front of me.

Hey, Cherie!

I am a 15-year-old girl who is trying to lose weight. I am doing OK by eating healthier food and exercising, but one problem is that my parents both love rocky road ice cream, and so do I. That means there is always rocky road in the freezer; it is pretty impossible for me to resist.

So I find myself gorging on it, and there goes my diet. Do you have any ideas for me?

— Rocky Addict

Hey, Rocky!

I guess you've tried the puh-leeze-Mom-and-Dad-let's-lay-off-the-ice-cream-for-a-while gambit, and it failed. Not that your parents are required to buy or not buy food because of you, Rocky. But still. In this case? I always go for the alternative packaging gambit, which sometimes works. That is, they buy their ice creams. Then they buy a plastic bag of Brussels sprouts or some such, empty it partway, and stash the ice cream container in it. It can work ... if you can resist looking in every bag of food that you might not normally want to consume.

Cherie Bennett is a best-selling author of books for teens and young adults. Visit her website at www.cheriebennett.com. To find out more about Cherie Bennett and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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Comments

5 Comments | Post Comment
I think the girl with the big mouth should consider how she phrases her "corrections" of other people, or she may be asking to get more than she bargains for as a response. I have told people in the express lines that they are in the wrong line etc. However, If anyone of any age told me to get out of a theater, I think I would tell them...well, never mind. I am a grandmother now and would not keep a crying baby there ... or probably take a baby there. However, if a 16 year old girl started rudely correcting my behavior, my response would not be positive. From the tone of her letter, I suspect that she chose only the situations that she thought you would agree were obnoxious. If her peer group finds her disrespectful and embarrassing, I suspect that she has appointed herself as "the one who knows what is right and is willing to tell everyone how to do everything." Good luck to her in future relationships.
Comment: #1
Posted by: MWhitten
Thu Oct 1, 2009 12:20 PM
I am with MWhitten on LW1. If I ever catch my daughter behaving like LW1, she'll be grounded for months. It is not that teenagers should not correct adults because it is disrespectful. It is that she is being RUDE. People who go through the express checkout line with more items than allowed are breaking a rule, but it is even ruder to monitor items in other people's carts. One rude act does not make the other more excusable. If somebody has a crying baby in a movie theater, they are probably already trying to quiet the baby and get him out to the lobby. It does not help to shout at them. Besides, how does shouting at the person to get out make the theater quieter? Now, you have a crying baby AND an ill-mannered loud-mouth teenager. LW1 should read Miss Manners and get some insights how to manage her public behavior. As MW, I'll say - Good luck with future relationships.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Ariana
Fri Oct 2, 2009 11:04 AM
LW3-switch to Soy Delicious ice cream. There's way less fat, no cholesterol, you can still have your goodie but without all the fat. Besides, the USDA allows a certain amount of pus into our dairy products and when you eat ice cream, you are also eating the pus that comes from cows who have mastitis from being pumped too much. Do you really want to eat that? That's why people develop mucus after eating dairy. Our immune system goes into action and produces mucus to fight off the bacteria. Do some investigating about dairy and believe me, you won't want to eat ice cream ever. Worked for me. BTW, I dropped 4 pounds.
Comment: #3
Posted by: osoozzq
Sun Oct 4, 2009 11:11 AM
Oops, I meant 40 pounds!
Comment: #4
Posted by: osoozzq
Sun Oct 4, 2009 11:11 AM
40, not 4 lbs.
Comment: #5
Posted by: osoozzq
Sun Oct 4, 2009 11:11 AM
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