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Christmas Away from Family? Teen Asks Why Not?

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Hey, Cherie!

I am a girl in 11th grade and I have a fantastic opportunity. There is another girl in my class named Sasha, and her family has a ton of money, which I don't mind saying. Her father didn't believe in stock and bonds and instead bought gold. Plus he is a doctor, so between his gold and his job, Sasha's family is kind of rich.

They have a ski house in Colorado near a town called Steamboat Springs. Sasha has invited me to come with their family to Steamboat Springs from just before Christmas to New Year's! They know that my family is not rich, since my dad is a teacher at our high school and my mother is a kindergarten teacher. So, they have told my parents that they will pay for my skiing and ski school. All I would have to do is bring ski clothes, and since Sasha and I are pretty much the same size, I could wear her extra stuff.

Cherie, this is like a dream come true for me. My family doesn't ski, Sasha is a really good friend, and I might never have an opportunity like this again. I think maybe you can see the problem: it's Christmas. My dad's parents always come from New Mexico, and Christmas morning and Christmas dinner are a huge deal. I know that, but I don't see why missing Christmas just this once would be so enormous. Do you?

— Steamboat Dreamer

Hey, Steamboat!

Well, Steamboat, you might not like what I'm going to say. But you might like the solution that I suggest.

I'm Jewish, so I have to say that Christmas itself isn't so important to me. But there are plenty of other holidays that are huge: Thanksgiving and Passover (which is probably not huge to you, but I'm just using it as an example). The idea of doing something that is basically selfish on that day, like going skiing in Colorado with Sasha, as opposed to doing something basically selfless, like being with your extended family on Christmas Eve and day? I'm not liking how that sounds.

And I think in your heart of hearts you don't like how it sounds, either.

That said, you're right in this way: this is a monster opportunity. I don't ski, but my husband has been skiing since he was 9. It's a sport you can do for a lifetime.

So, here's my idea. A Christmas Day flight to meet Sasha and her family in Steamboat Springs. It has an airport, I checked. You can fly there through Denver. Maybe your mom and dad would split the price of your ticket with you. If you were my kid and you came up with this plan? I would.

Hey, Cherie!

My parents want me to go to a counselor. I am in ninth grade. Until this year, I have had a lot of friends, but this year I am more into my computer and Facebook. I used to work hard in all my classes, but this year I am only working hard in the subjects I enjoy, like math and science. I am not trying as hard in things I hate, like social studies. Until this year, I played soccer, but now I am into skateboarding.

I am not crazy. Do you think I should go?

— Just Making Changes

Hey, Just!

It can't hurt and it might help, depending on your therapist. A great psychotherapist can change your life for the better. An average one, not so much. A poor one? Ouch. You have definitely made some changes in your life and approach to school, friends and sports, but change also comes with growing up. If your parents suspect depression or anxiety, maybe seeing a therapist will put their minds at ease. And you don't have to go forever.

Cherie Bennett is a best-selling author of books for teens and young adults. Visit her website at www.cheriebennett.com. To find out more about Cherie Bennett and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM


Comments

3 Comments | Post Comment
Hey, Steamboat Dreamer - ignore Cherie's advice - its stupid and let me tell you why. There is no such thing as a selfless act (like perfection they don't exist) and I'm afraid Cherie showed her stupidity when she made those statements. Go skiing - you may never have the chance again and missing one over-commercialized holiday isn't going to kill anyone. Your parents should recognize this opportunity for what it is and allow you to go. Also, it is an incredibly generous offer from your friend's parents and I think it would be rude and small to refuse. If my daughter had this opportunity I would definitely let her go. Last year I spent Christmas alone because my daughter wanted to be with her father's family. It sucked but it was worth it to make her happy. I hope your parents are good enough to make the right choice.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Diana
Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:57 PM
Re: Diana. AMEN!! The girl needs to seize this opportunity by the throat and go for it! The advice was terrible. She'll be with her parents next year and the year after that, and besides...she'll only be gone a week. Come on. Give the girl a break and let her go spend the holiday - all of it - with her friend in Steamboat Springs.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Matt
Thu Nov 5, 2009 3:31 AM
Yup, I 2nd the motion. The girl should go to Steamboat Springs. She shouldn't pass up a great opportunity. Maybe she could agree to be home for new years eve. Cherie, sorry but your advice sucks.
Comment: #3
Posted by: osoozzq
Sun Mar 14, 2010 12:46 PM
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