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Rumors Leave Teen Feeling Alone

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Hey, Cherie!

I am a 17-year-old senior in high school. I enjoy doing all the things that you do in your last year of high school like going to lots of parties, playing volleyball and hanging out with my friends. Then over the winter break, a girl who I thought was my friend started a terrible rumor about me and one of my friends' boyfriends, saying we "hooked up" one night at a party. Cherie, this isn't true!

Yes, we flirted a little bit and danced together, but that was the end of it. This guy is really popular in school and has lots of friends, and he isn't denying it! And now I'm basically an outcast. Nothing I say seems to make any difference with my so-called friends! I feel so abandoned and alone. I did talk to my dad about it, and he says that these girls weren't really friends of mine and I am better off. He just doesn't get it! I don't think anybody can help me with this, but I am so bitter and sad all the time that I don't even want to go to school anymore. I just get stared at and whispered about. I feel like my life is over.

—Outcast in High School

 

Hey, Outcast!

Oh love, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. These are the things that can really challenge you in life, and make you truly see who your friends are. Life can be so full of trials and tribulations when you feel judged by your peers for anything, especially something you didn't do! What you have to remember is that you are not responsible for anyone else's actions, and you can live your life by your own standards and allow your actions to speak for themselves.

These so-called friends of yours are just that. You keep your head up high and speak your truth if you are asked to.

Have you talked to this guy? If you can get him to tell the truth about what really happened this would change things for you, right? You can reason with him by telling him how this has changed your experience at school, and ask him how he would feel if this had happened to him. These girls are probably just jealous of you and wanted to take you down a notch. Do not give them the satisfaction of knowing they won. This situation does not have to define your last year in high school, because you can change the way you think about anything. That is what gives you power. You have found out who your friends are, and this is the lesson you can take away from the experience.

 

Hey, Cherie!

I am so sick and tired of my little sister! I am 14, and she is 12. She always is into my stuff, and because we share a room I can't exactly kick her out of it! My parents will tell her to leave my stuff alone, but she just keeps on doing it! It's driving me crazy trying to find hiding places and sneaking around just so she won't mess with me. How can I make her stop and leave me alone?

—Big Trouble with Little Sister

 

Hey, Big!

Man, it can be so hard having to share your space with a sibling. Especially when they just don't leave you alone. What if you messed with her stuff, too? Maybe then she would get so annoyed that she would leave you alone. Nobody likes to be invaded, even if it's your own sister. So if you start moving her stuff around, she might get the message. Your parents can also talk to her about how important it is to have your own space, and she might appreciate it more. You may even get some peace!

Cherie Bennett is a best-selling author of books for teens and young adults. Visit her website at www.cheriebennett.com. To find out more about Cherie Bennett and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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Comments

6 Comments | Post Comment
LW1 - Such a sad, unfair situation. It reminded me of the plot of an episode of "Welcome Back, Kotter." All the guys were claiming this girl was "easy" and they had all slept with her. So she announced that she was pregnant, and one of them was the father. Boy, did they backtrack quickly. Then she said, "Well, then I guess I'm not pregnant after all!" Might work for you.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Carla
Thu Jan 19, 2012 2:20 PM
Lw1-what do you mean you're an "outcast"? Are you going to be spending hte rest of your natural life with these people? Are you going to college with them? I hated high school, and my last year was the worst. You had the stupid cliques, the social competitiion, popularity contests, and other shit. I threw my yearbook away withing a few months of getting it, and only kept in touch with two or three people I'd known in high school. Occasionally I run into people I knew back then and they're no happier than they were then.
What the hell do you care what your peers think? They're not paying your clothing bill, they're not paying your wages, they're not paying to see you, and they sure as hell ain't paying you. So let every boy in the school say he had sex with you. Evey teenage boy needs a fantasy, doesn't he?
Comment: #2
Posted by: Roger
Sat Jan 21, 2012 2:19 AM
LW1: Stop acting guilty and ashamed. Your dad does get it - you're just too emotional and immature to get it. These girls did you a favor by showing you who they are. You need to give serious thought as to why you have such low self-esteem that you need ugly useless people to like you. Start acting like you have some self-esteem and class. Maybe if you do that people will stop whispering about you. Jealous petty girls are ugly girls. Remember that.

LW2: You can do your sister a favor by teaching her a valuable life lesson - don't expect better than you give. Mess with her stuff and see how she likes it. If that doesn't correct it and your parents aren't doing their jobs than I suggest smacking her around a bit. Sadly, fear can be a great motivator.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Diana
Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:36 PM
LW1: Wow, a lot of people seem to have forgotten what it's like to be a teen and to be stuck at a school where you can't just get away from those people who are saying such things. I feel for you. But your dad is right. They were never your friends and you'll be better off without them. Teenage girls can be cruel when they choose to shut someone out as you've discovered. Just be yourself, hold your head up high, and let your actions speak clearly as to who you really are.
Comment: #4
Posted by: Noxx
Mon Jan 23, 2012 2:59 PM
Lw1: I had a similar experience though it did not ruin my life. I went to a party, flirted with this popular guy and went off to make out with him. He, of course, tried for more, I shot him down. The following Monday it was all over the school that I'd given him a blow job, needless to say I was pretty pissed off. I confronted him in front of his friends and basically told him what an ass he was. Anyone who mentioned it to me I would flatly deny that happened and that he was lying because I would not have sex with him. Anyone who knew me knew I was speaking the truth. It had no lasting repercussions for me and it happened at the beginning of my junior year, his senior. This is one reason I had a policy not to date guys at my school, they were all idiots and you could not trust them not to blab or make up stories. Though I did date 1 guy there who was not a blabber later that year for about 6 months, though that rumor did resuface when we were dating as a "friend" pulled up to his car and I happened to be laying down in the front seat with my head on his lap and we were just talking....though it certainly did not look like that when I rolled over and peeked my head out the window when they pulled up, quite funny at the time.
But your dad it right though you cannot see that now, look at the big picture, will it really matter in 2, 5, 10 years what your "friends" think now? I hope you still have one good friend there who believes you. But I would confront this loser and tell him how much you appreciate him sticking up for him (not), and how thankful you are to have friends like him, etc. Of course the sarcasm will probbably be lost on this idiot but if he has any decency maybe he will come forward and tell everyone to knock it off and that nothing happened. But really next time you should not be filching other girls boyfriends, and this is a lesson to be learned, don't piss off your friends in high school as they can make your life a living hell.
As for the staring and whispering, I find it hard to believe everyone is constantly pointing and whispering at you, you are just super paranoid, upset, feeling guilty and mad all at the same time. All you can do at this point is hold your head up and totally ignore those doing the whispering and pointing and eventually it will quiet down and a new scandal will erupt and you will be old news. Good Luck.
Comment: #5
Posted by: L
Tue Jan 24, 2012 4:22 AM
Your dad is correct when he says that you are better off without your frenimies, but he also hasn't been a teenage girl. Guys tend to let things go, or at most, have a fist fight and end up as best friends. Not so with girls. They will continue to get a kick out of harassing you until the next big scandal comes along.

So yeah, if you can get this guy to admit that nothing happened, that might work. But I must ask: WHY did you think it was okay to dance with and flirt with a friend's boyfriend? Even if she gave you permission to dance with him and was right there, that's something you just don't do. Did it give you a sense of power to know that you could get this guy to respond to you? Of course your life shouldn't be ruined and lies shouldn't be spread, but I can't help but think this all could have been avoided with some common girl-sense.
Comment: #6
Posted by: Siege
Tue Jan 31, 2012 2:43 PM
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