Everyday Cheapskate

One of my scariest childhood fears involved communists, nuclear bombs and being kidnapped by Russians. If that wasn't bad enough, I just knew they'd sneak into town and grab me at noon on Thursday, the moment the citywide air-raid sirens would sound for the weekly test. My imagination kept my stomach in knots and my emotions on edge because no one explained to me that I would be protected no matter what happened.

If your kids are old enough to be aware that something is going on with the national economy, talk about it. Keep it simple and brief and follow it with assurance that national and world economies have been going up and down for centuries. What goes down always goes back up. Limit kids' exposure to TV news and radio talk shows that drone on about the economy. Kids may not understand what they hear, but they'll pick up on negativity and start to worry. Assure them that the most important economy is the one within your home.

Parents should not tell children how much money they earn. Whether you are at the poverty level or well-heeled, kids don't need that information. Most children don't know how to interpret salaries or annual income.

A frugal lifestyle -- living below your means -- is the best environment in which to raise kids. When children observe their parents consuming carefully, making wise spending decisions, choosing not to buy the biggest and the best, and not living on credit, they begin to assimilate those values.

It is reassuring for children to know that their parents are savers and have money in the bank. That builds a sense of security that "we never will be broke."

Rather than telling your kids, "We can't afford that," say, "We don't choose to spend our money in that way." Now you have delivered a positive message that you have money but you make intelligent choices about how you spend it. That makes kids feel safe. It tells them that their parents are protecting them. When you say, "We cannot afford this," kids hear: "We are poor. If we weren't so poor, we could have this." They quickly assume that money is the key to happiness and that if they just had enough money, they could be perfectly happy.

Don't aspire to look like the most affluent family in the neighborhood. If yours is a one-earner family, don't live the lifestyle of your two-paycheck friends. Rather than constantly striving to keep up, look for ways to downshift. Don't live to consume, and don't base your self-worth on your net worth.

The most important thing you can teach your kids (and yourself) is that together, we can weather any storm. And we will.

Mary Hunt is the founder of DebtProofLiving.com and author of 17 books, including "Debt-Proof Living." You can e-mail her at mary@everydaycheapskate.com, or write to Everyday Cheapskate, P.O. Box 2135, Paramount, CA 90723. To find out more about Mary Hunt and read her past columns, please visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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