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Perfectly Paralyzed

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I never have thought of myself as a perfectionist. One would only have to peer into my office to understand why.

My office has the appearance of chaos, confusion and disorder. "Appearance" is the operative word. I find the chaos to be completely functional. I rely on my own, unique organizational theory: It's better occasionally to waste time searching for items than regularly to waste time keeping the place tidy with everything meticulously filed.

I know what you're thinking. My mother didn't agree with my theory, either.

I admit that I struggle with procrastination. But me, a perfectionist? Hardly. A perfectionist is someone who does everything perfectly. I only think about doing things perfectly.

Not long ago, I had the opportunity to hear what Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church in Southern California, had to say on this subject. A procrastinator, Warren says, is nothing more than a frustrated perfectionist.

A perfectionist is convinced she must prove her worth by being perfect. A perfectionist craves approval. Warren contends it's the fear of not being able to perform perfectly that leads to procrastination. And procrastination eventually leads to paralysis.

There are times when I stare into my computer screen for hours on end without completing a single sentence. Even though I have a clear-cut subject, a semi-brilliant conclusion and a general idea of how I plan to get there, until I perfect my first paragraph, I'm paralyzed.

Have you ever felt paralyzed by your procrastination? Perhaps perfectionism is at the root of the problem.

I hear from lots of you who say you just can't get going with your Rapid Debt-Repayment Plans (one element of Debt-Proof Living; learn more at http://www.DebtProofLiving.com).

Could it be that you're so worried about making a mistake you find yourself paralyzed? Are you holding yourself to an unattainable standard of perfection? That could be what's keeping you stuck right where you are.

Perfectionism can keep us from moving forward, but it doesn't have to be that way. There are antidotes for perfectionism.

1) Believe that no one is perfect. You will liberate yourself when you lower your expectations from perfect to realistic. Don't be afraid to make a mistake. You don't have to be perfect to be happy.

2) Let go and let God handle things. It takes a lot of faith to let go of those things over which we have no control.

3) Learn contentment. Life must be lived in less than perfect circumstances. Accept that. Love the moment, and enjoy the journey. Dump the pressure that says you must be perfect to be accepted.

It's time to break out of your prison of perfectionism. Identify what you need to do and take the first step. Even if you fall flat on your face, you will have gained at least five feet. Then take the second step, and the third. Before you know it, you will be making terrific progress. Not perfection, but progress!

Mary Hunt is the founder of www.DebtProofLiving.com and author of 18 books, including her best-selling classic "Debt-Proof Living." You can e-mail her at mary@everydaycheapskate.com, or write to Everyday Cheapskate, P.O. Box 2135, Paramount, CA 90723. To find out more about Mary Hunt and read her past columns, please visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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Comments

2 Comments | Post Comment
Thanks so much, Mary, for your wisdom about perfectionism. We're on the same topic today. We write everyday about the impact of that internal saboteur, the Inner Critic, its role in perfectionistic living, and how to break free from its grip. Today on www.soulmateskills.org, our website, we wrote the Thought for the Day on procrastination. Your readers might find our book, Disarming Your Inner Critic (amazon.com) helpful in learning skills for getting free. Our best wishes as you help others break free! Kathryn Elliott, Ph.D. & James Elliott, Ph.D., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists
Comment: #1
Posted by: Kathryn Elliott
Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:34 AM
A very good column, but how sad that you have to mention a hate-monger like Rick Warren in your column. It could give people the impression that you support his kind of bigotry.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Ms. Rowena
Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:58 AM
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