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Farewell
Dear Larry: You are the sanest man in America! I look forward to your columns because I ALWAYS agree with your answers. Great work! Thanks for speaking the simple truth about all issues — racial, political, parental, common sense, etc.
I often …Read more.
Hate Groups
Dear Larry: I want to forget for a moment that it is their constitutional right, because I detest the Ku Klux Klan, neo-Nazis and all other groups that preach hate. A long time ago, they came into cities across America without any protest. Now …Read more.
Troubles With Raising Teenage Son
Dear Larry: I am African-American and a single mother with three children, ages 15, 10 and 8. All of them are boys. I am having a lot of problems with them, especially the eldest.
He argues with me about almost everything. He thinks he is the man/…Read more.
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Dear Larry: So many of my friends are upset with the way things are going, especially race relations. They are not saying anything openly, but among themselves there is constant complaining and fear. There is something simmering and brewing that …Read more.
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Questions About Blacks Answered
Dear Larry: I am a 43-year-old white man and worked as a firefighter/paramedic for many years. During my years of working with the public, I always maintained the practice of not making judgment on people regarding race. My judgments were based upon individual personalities and actions.
After all these years of working with minorities, I have a number of questions.
1. Why do most blacks feel the need to proclaim that they are black? Whatever the statement, they precede it with the words "I am a black man/woman."
I am standing there looking at them. I know they are black. Why do they feel as if they must tell me? I don't get it.
2. Why do most blacks have an aggressive, in-your-face attitude from the get-go? I was there to help one of their family members, yet they attacked me. Is it common practice to try to intimidate or scare "whitey" to control the situation?
3. Why are so many blacks obsessed with being respected or disrespected? Obviously, we all want to be respected, but respect is earned, not demanded. Basically, you get treated like you act, regardless of race.
4. What is with the "white boy" label that blacks like to use? Is this meant to be an insult or put-down? I find it really amusing when a teenage kid calls me "white boy." If "white boy" is defined as a man who works/plays hard, takes care of his family and treats people the way he wants to be treated, bring it.
5. Are most blacks convinced they are incapable of being racist because of the fact they are black? In my experience, they are the ones constantly pointing out that they think someone is racist, especially if the person doesn't agree with everything they have to say.
Again, Larry, I have tried hard not to make generalities regarding race. However, it has gotten to the point that when I talk to a black person/family, I am thinking, "Here we go again. Just breathe." — John
Dear John: I feel frustration in your letter, and I know you speak for many people who share your emotions. Let me give you a brief response in the order you ask.
1. Proclaiming one's race is an attempt to put the other person on the defensive. It also is done to give the minority some kind of authority or credential the other person never will have or understand.
2. The "in-your-face" attitude has developed since the civil rights movement in the 1960s. It is used because it is effective and it causes whites to be taken aback.
3. Ever since I can remember, respect has been an important quality advocated within the black community. Before the civil rights movement — when blacks were disrespected by the majority population — blacks showed great respect to one another, especially the elderly. Today this does not hold true. Whites have stopped their put-downs, but blacks are destroying their own race.
4. The label "white boy" is an insult and intended as a put-down.
5. Too many blacks have looked upon racism as the sole function of the white race and never consider themselves as perpetrators. Many blacks think that if they are racist, it is not really racism because only a person in a power position can be a racist. Now that blacks have attained power, no right-thinking person can say only whites can be racist.
To find out more about Larry G. Meeks and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM
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Comments
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19 Comments | Post Comment
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The notorious respect/disrespect attitude is actually a Southern thing that Black people learned from Whites. It existed long before the Civil Rights movement. I've seen poor Whites doing the same thing. In Southern Italy they do that too. It's considered "manly" to lose your temper.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Roger
Sat Jul 31, 2010 10:27 AM
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"Most" blacks don't do the things described by the LW.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Van Wickle
Sat Jul 31, 2010 12:19 PM
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I think it may have more to do with being poor and maybe not very bright than being black. A long time ago, I was a social worker and 99% of my clients were black. There was an amazing air of entitlement and a distinct dislike of white people (even me, who worked hard to help them get benefits). Over the years, I have had some black friends who were college educated and they were NOTHING like my clients. Now I work with mostly low income white people and have again encountered the whole "notorious respect/disrespect attitude" (to quote Rodger) and a very defensive/in your face attitude that comes out when they feel challenged. There is no particular insight here, but I thought that I would share my observations.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Stephanie
Sat Jul 31, 2010 4:12 PM
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Um sorry Roger, my spell check didn't compensate for my Southern pronunciation of your name!
Comment: #4
Posted by: Stephanie
Sat Jul 31, 2010 4:13 PM
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Re: Stephanie: Oh, I think you've got plenty of insight and I totally agree. The kind of behavior described has everything to do with education, income, etc. I find it strange that the LW apparently doesn't know any black people who don't behave rudely. He must come into contact with a very narrow range of the population. Does he not have any black friends/co-workers he can talk to about this stuff?
Comment: #5
Posted by: Van Wickle
Sat Jul 31, 2010 7:05 PM
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Stephanie brings some excellent insight into this topic. I live in the deep South among many low-income people of different ethnic backgrounds. I think the attitude is also dependent on the individuals and the values they are raised with. My mother grew up in the South, one of 7 children to farmers. Neither of her parents even had a high school education. Yet, they firmly believed a college education was the key to a better life. All 7 of their children have college degrees, and a couple even have graduate degrees. My mother's family did not let poverty be an excuse for such behavior and they also believe respect must be earned.
I have, on occasion, run into people who seem to be intimidated by the fact that I am a college graduate. I don't understand why; I have never put anyone down for not pursuing a college degree nor do I treat them any differently from anyone else. That is the person's own choice. What's worse, I once got into a conversation with another mom who she asked if I stayed at home with my child. I answered no, that I was in graduate school. The conversation abruptly stopped and she didn't speak to me any further.
I think Stephanie is absolutely right: this attitude is not ethnic-specific. It seems to me that it is born out of people's lack of willingness to account for their own choices in life.
Comment: #6
Posted by: LibraryKat
Sun Aug 1, 2010 9:05 AM
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I don't know that this attitude has to do with education or income, but in my experience has to do with age. Years ago, I worked as a home health aide in rural Georgia and most of my clients were poor elderly blacks. Most lived alone, in shacks, some even without running water. I would show up and ask "what can I do for you today? What do you need?" and I don't know how many times I would hear "oh, honey you've been working hard all day. Why don't you just sit down and talk to me for a spell". Sometimes they would want me to "platt" (sp?) their hair, which as a white girl, I NEVER learned to do, but was more than willing to try. Sometimes they would look like Pippi Longstocking when I was done, but they were always so appreciative and thankful for even the smallest things. I mean, this was the rural Deep South! and I can't remember any racist attitude by any of these people. Not every single one of my clients was nice, I think some may have been embarrassed by the fact that they needed help at all, but I truly can't remember any racist remarks.
On the other hand, the WHITE people? I am from PA originally, having ended up in GA when I was in the army. If I was in uniform, the civilians were respectful. When I was in the army, it was probably half black, half white and I truly don't remember any racism there either. But when I got out of the army and got a civilian job,, I don't know how many times I heard "Damn Yankee" directed at me, and they MEANT it! Not very nice white people in the south, in my experience.
Comment: #7
Posted by: Judie
Sun Aug 1, 2010 9:44 AM
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And I agree with Van Wickle, I don't believe either that "most" blacks have that attitude. BUt I will admit, I see it more often with black women than black men. But again, I still wouldn't say "most".
Comment: #8
Posted by: Judie
Sun Aug 1, 2010 9:47 AM
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These are all interesting observations. Judie, your elderly clients sound sweet, and it sounds like they really liked you. (FYI, sp. is "plait," pronounced "platt" - an old-fashioned word for braid!) I think there are many factors involved, with upbringing and family/cultural values also being very important. Plenty of people of all races are low-income and/or uneducated but totally decent, polite, considerate, etc. I think whether a person is fundamentally angry and lacking self-respect is a big factor.
I suspect that for some reason the LW1 noticed the rude people more. (Don't we all? All it takes is one really nasty person to ruin your day.) I wonder what LW1 would have found if he'd done a reality check for a month and rated everyone he met on a 1-10 rudeness scale.
Comment: #9
Posted by: Van Wickle
Sun Aug 1, 2010 11:59 AM
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"Again, Larry, I have tried hard not to make generalities regarding race..." He might as well have added, "...but why are black people so awful?" For someone who doesn't want to generalize, I'm not seeing him do much of anything else in his letter. I'm not questioning that the LW is describing things that actually happened, and it's understandably upsetting to him. But I also think to paint a picture of an entire group based on one's view from one small corner of the world is dangerous. Imagine if a black person wrote in and described a white person demonstrating a condescending, eye-rolling, "here we go again" demeanor and asked why "most white people" behave that way? In fact it sounds as if the LW has been categorized as a certain type of person by the people he encounters, and his response is to behave in the exact same way. The generalization that everyone is guilty of is an area that I wish Mr. Meeks would address once in a while.
Comment: #10
Posted by: Jon
Sun Aug 1, 2010 3:20 PM
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What's funny about this column, and the question that motivated it, is that both completely miss the point.
Certainly black against white racism exists. But who is harmed by it? In the example cited in the column, it appears to be the people whom the writer is attempting to help. The black racism is keeping them from receiving services that might save black lives. While the writer is treated to some disrespect, he's free to shrug it off. It has no real meaning or economic impact upon his life, or indeed upon the life of any other white person.
White against black racism also exists. But who is harmed by it? In almost every possible circumstance, the answer is black people. The recent example of black farmers in the south who were denied loans is a perfect example. So is the incredible number of racially-motivated threats to the Obama's life (far more than Bush received and many couched in KKK-like imagery.)
But as long as white against black racism is not overt, the white racist pays no social penalty. White against black racism has a long history of creating a disparity of opportunity, and certainly contributed to the dysfunctional aspects of black urban culture. In fact, white on black racism is the root source of black on white racism. Without it, black on white racism would probably not exist.
The problem with Meeks (and his correspondent) is that bringing up examples of black against white racism tends to legitimize white against black racism or, worse, distracts attention from white against black racism, which is playing a major role in today's politics and is beginning to create a threat to the presidency. Meeks seems so bent on proving that blacks can be racist (as if that needed proving) that he forgets that, as far as whites go, that kind of racism is entirely toothless.
Comment: #11
Posted by: Geoffrey James
Mon Aug 2, 2010 11:16 AM
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Geoffrey, I've heard a number of people say recently that black racism directed against whites hurts no one. Tell that to the families of white people who have been killed by blacks who hated or undervalued them.
Racism harms everyone involved by oversimplifying circumstances and causing people to miss opportunities - even if it's just the opportunity to befriend your neighbors.
I am a light-skinned African American, and after Martin Luther King was killed, my (all black) classmates decided that I was really white, and they began ostracizing me, insulting me, and beating me up. So I guess you could say I've experienced white-against-black racism and black-against-white racism. They both sting. Trust me.
Comment: #12
Posted by: Carla
Tue Aug 3, 2010 4:39 AM
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Carla: I see your point, and I had forgotten situations where students are put together in racially mixed situations. As the white father of two black children, I, too, am often concerned that when my children are old enough to extend their contacts into areas with a larger black population, they'll be criticized for "acting white" -- which is ironic, since they were both born in Africa.
There's no question that black against white racism creates problems. Still, black against white racism was never institutionalized and it had, and has, very little ECONOMIC impact on anybody, except blacks. By contrast, white against black racism has had a long term economic impact dating from the Jim Crow days. And it's still going on, because the black against white racism, like white against black racism, limits the ability of young black people to assimilate into the larger culture.
Comment: #13
Posted by: Geoffrey James
Tue Aug 3, 2010 7:13 AM
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Carla, that's horrible and I'm sorry it happened to you. Geoffrey, while it may be true that black against white racism has little direct economic impact, it's all part of the same vicious circle and it all stinks. And as Carla points, racism often leads to violence. And/or injury to the spirit.
Comment: #14
Posted by: Van Wickle
Tue Aug 3, 2010 5:00 PM
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This just in - blacks agree, the Tea Party is not racist. http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/08/04/black-political-activists-tea-party-racist/?test=latestnews
Comment: #15
Posted by: Matt
Thu Aug 5, 2010 12:34 AM
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Blacks agree, do they? All 40 million of them are in precise agreement on this issue? And your source is Fox news? LOL.
Comment: #16
Posted by: Van Wickle
Thu Aug 5, 2010 10:40 AM
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Re: Matt
Whew, thanks for clearing that up! Where do people get the idea that one person or a handful of people automatically represent an entire group or race? I feel like the same people write in to Larry Meeks with a tone that suggests they want his permission to say, "See. He agrees with me, and he's a BLACK MAN! Clearly most black people have the problem!" But I will agree that painting the entire Tea Party as racist is unfair. I'm not a fan of theirs, but suffice it to say that there are racists within the group who ruin for the rest. People inside and outside the Tea Party should be willing to address them individually.
Comment: #17
Posted by: Jon
Thu Aug 5, 2010 12:09 PM
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Some very thoughtful, sensible responses here. Just a couple extra observations:
1) The original letter writer probably should be taking into account the fact that he is generally not seeing people when they are at their best. When you are a first responder (police, fire fighter, EMT, etc.) you are generally responding to an emergency, and few people are at their best in those situations. Yes, logic dictates that when your house is on fire or you are sick or wounded that you should be grateful to the first responder and therefore would be especially nice to the person who is trying to help you. But logic frequently flies out the window in an emergency.
2) I found it fascinating that Larry Meeks chose to answer the letter writer's questions as if the LW really didn't know the answers. I am sure he is well aware of the fact that "white boy" is supposed to be a put down, and that no one defines "white boy" as someone who works hard, takes care of his family and treats people as he wants to be treated. I wouldn't define "white boy" that way -- and I'm white. Sadly, white people do not have a monopoly on working hard, taking care of their families and treating people as they wish to be treated.
Comment: #18
Posted by: Lisa
Thu Aug 5, 2010 12:55 PM
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Your response Larry Meeks was once again born out of ignorance. You do not speak ethnically or intelligently for
blacks. You hate that people consider you as being black. It is time you dropped that bag of rocks you are holding from childhood ridicule and move on with life as being a black man in the good old USA. Generalizations like that of the firefighters is downright racist and you should have ackowledged that instead of jumping on the old Larry Meeks "I hate Black people and myself" bandwagon. You are a disgrace to giving anybody advice and only those people write to you for advice look for a confirmation to be rascist against blacks just like you.
Signed: A very proud and respectful to all
Southern Belle
outhern Black Belle
Comment: #19
Posted by: Anita
Mon Aug 9, 2010 11:59 AM
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