Ethnically Speaking by Larry Meeks

Dear Larry: I am a white male registered nurse and respiratory therapist living in the Midwest. I provide care for elderly Southern black patients in a hospital near a Martin Luther King Drive.

I am driven by my conscience to treat patients as I would my own elderly mother by going beyond the minimal standard of care. When they arrive on my unit, I greet them by name and introduce myself with a hearty welcome, a warm smile and eye contact. I am attentive to their dignity, hygiene, pain and comfort, pastoral care needs, and I am sensitive to their despair from the death of a longtime spouse. I am also sensitive to their perceived loss of usefulness.

I try to have an unhurried persona and give a sincere apology for any delay that I might have caused. I call their families with updates and encourage their visits. If the families do come, I offer them a cup of coffee or some soft drink that is on hand. If visitors are elderly or infirmed, I ask security to help them to and from their cars.

After discharge, patients are sent thank you cards with personal messages from my co-workers and me.

I am not as culturally sensitive to blacks as you are, Larry. If your loved one were a patient, what would you like to see for exceptional customer service? — Phil

Dear Phil: Every nurse in America needs to read your letter.

If I ever need elder care, I would be pleased and honored to have you as my caregiver. What you are doing is fantastic. I can offer you nothing. You are doing more than I ever could have suggested.

You truly are sent from God to care for others. May you always keep your joy and share your love for those in need.

Dear Larry: Why is it not racist to refer to a group of people as "African-American" or "Chinese-American"? We are all Americans.

Giving people ethnic titles makes them somehow less than full Americans.

I remember back in high school being told we were no longer to use the term "black." We were to replace it with "African-American." I am pro-culture and understand there are people who want to be proud of their cultural roots.

If this is the way in which people can express their cultural pride, why don't they call me by my cultural roots: Polish-German-Irish-Italian-British-Native-American? That is not done. Instead I am just called a "white kid." It seems to me what is good for one should be good for another. This is supposed to be a nation of equality.

I don't think our society should embrace our differences. Differences many times indicate weaknesses. I believe where one is weak another is strong.

We should focus on our strengths, with less emphasis on our divisions. — Josh

Dear Josh: I am not sure what you are asking. If you are trying to understand why some people want to be called by their ethnic identities, blame the government. The government, in its effort to bring about equality, needed to know the statistics. You are not included in the count because your race was considered in need of government intervention.

I do not consider calling people by their ethnic identities a weakness of America. I hate that we have to go through this process to ensure equality, but it is my opinion that it is a strength.

Black America continues to change its name, trying to instill ethnic pride. I am old enough to remember being called Negro, Afro-American, black and now African-American.

As Gertrude Stein said, "A rose is a rose is a rose."

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