Ethnically Speaking by Larry Meeks

Dear Larry: I am a 22-year-old African-American woman, and I need your advice in a hurry.

My mother and I do not get along. When I was 6 years old, my mother sent me away to live with my aunt because she was going to school and pursuing a career. When I was 13, my aunt returned me to my mother.

My mother never has married and has a difficult time holding a job because she always gets in trouble with the boss. She cannot seem to get along with anyone.

She screams at me for the smallest of reasons. When the phone rings and it is one of my friends, she complains and yells for me to get off the phone. She doesn't like the way I walk, nor does she like anything about me.

I try to get along with her, but there seems to be nothing I can do to make her happy. If I am talking, it's wrong. If I look at TV, I should be studying. If I go to my room, I don't like her. If I go to the refrigerator, I eat too much.

The only times she seems to be happy with me are when I am away from home. She never complains when I have been gone. I even have stayed out all night without her saying a word about how I'd spent my time. I am convinced she does not like me and would be happy if I were gone for good. When I was 18, I decided to make her happy. I left home three weeks prior to my graduation from high school.

I was gone for two years. I found friends on the street and started using drugs. I hate to talk about those years. I was completely lost, but one day, I decided to give up that lifestyle and go back home.

Before I went home, I called my mother, and she said to please come home and all was forgiven. I have been home almost a year and a half.

Since that time, I've gone back to school, and in a few weeks, I should be getting my diploma.

I also have a job working at a fast-food restaurant. I make enough money to take care of myself, but I don't make enough to pay the rent. There is a good possibility I will get a better job. I know it will happen if I can just stand being around my mother.

She is worse now than before I left. Living with her is a nightmare. She brings strange men home all the time. Her friends try to be with me. There are times when I have to run to my room and lock the door.

Larry, I don't know what to do. I can't leave because I don't have enough money. My old friends who are into drugs keep telling me to be with them. I want to avoid them because I still want to use.

I know staying with mom is hell, but so is the alternative.

Sorry to write so much, but I needed to share my feelings with someone. You don't have to use my entire letter, but I need some advice. — Crying To Sleep

Dear Crying: Sorry to edit your letter so much, but seven pages is a bit much for the column. I share your tears and pain.

Your situation is all too common for many people in America, and it pains me when people don't consider the effects of their behavior on others.

Is living with the aunt whom you lived with in your youth a viable alternative? If not, I suggest that you sequester yourself in your room and continue your studies until you can find the resources to move away.

Do not go to your old friends; they have a bad influence on you. It is obvious that you do not identify with your mother and that her behavior does not have an influence on you.

Your choices are few, but in a short time, you will be on your own. My prayers are with you.

To find out more about Larry G. Meeks and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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