Ethnically Speaking by Larry Meeks

Dear Larry: In this day and age, with a black president, one would think people would be more accepting of interracial relationships. I have a major problem. I am a 27-year-old white woman and in love for the first time in my life. I have dated a number of men, however my current boyfriend, who is 31 years old, is the finest man who ever lived.

He is courteous, thoughtful, handsome, educated and drop-dead sexy. I can't think of anyone who possibly could be any better. With all of that said, one would think my parents would be happy for my happiness. The opposite is true. My parents do not like my boyfriend, and the sole reason is he is black.

What really makes me upset is the fact that I had no idea they are racists. I have been going with my boyfriend for almost two years, and they never had said a word about his race. He has been over to our house numerous times, and my parents always have treated him with the utmost courtesy. They laugh together at things on the TV and discuss items in the newspaper. My father said he and my boyfriend have the same thoughts on politics.

I thought my parents were OK with our relationship until I mentioned that we had talked about getting married. That is when my parents revealed their true feelings.

They said they do not want a son-in-law who is black. They let me know they don't care whether we are living together and having sex, as long as we do not get married. They let me know the family on both sides would object because there are no blacks anywhere in the family tree.

Larry, I have cried myself to sleep for a week.

I am stunned, confused and don't know what my next step should be. I have talked with my boyfriend, but he does not render an opinion. He only says that this is a family issue and that he does not want to sway any decision on my part.

My girlfriend is a fan of yours, and she told me that I should ask you for your opinion. Forgive me for writing so much, but I thought you should have all the facts.

Please help me sort this out. My life is turned upside down. — Hurt

Dear Hurt: A typed letter that's four pages long and single-spaced is a bit long for my column. I only have a few column inches. I pray my edits properly reflect your views.

I agree with your boyfriend that what you do next is your decision. I believe that if you marry your boyfriend, you need to be prepared to be disowned by your family. Here is the question you should ask yourself: Can I live without my family? If your answer is no, do not marry him. Before you make a commitment with another boyfriend, get your family's blessings before you waste time dating.

If your answer is yes, make sure you and your husband's love is deep and abiding, because you may be alone for an extended amount of time.

Your question is not the first one I have answered on this issue. The facts indicate that interracial marriages are more enduring than same-race marriages. I also have found that grandchildren have a way of thawing even the worst racist's cold heart.

I will keep you in my prayers.

To find out more about Larry G. Meeks and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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