Ethnically Speaking by Larry Meeks

Dear Larry: I am 19 years old, and my girlfriend is 21. She is black, and I am white. We get along great, and this is the first time I have fallen in love. It is a great thing except for one thing: My girlfriend loves to wear very low-cut blouses.

This has become a major point of discussion between us. She wears clothes with as many as three buttons unbuttoned. When we go places, all the men stare at her. She doesn't say anything to other guys, but I don't like the way they look and smile. It makes me very uncomfortable.

I have asked her to button up and not show herself, but she says there is nothing wrong with the way she dresses. She also says there is nothing wrong with dressing to feel nice and a little bit sexy. Dressing that way, according to her, makes her feel like a very desirable woman.

Larry, she is desirable; I love the way she looks. I think she is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. I want her to dress that way only for me and not show herself to others. We have talked numerous times, and I am getting frustrated.

The last time we talked, she mentioned that black women love to dress this way because it comes from their roots in Africa, where some women walk around bare-breasted. I said that does not make sense, and she said to look it up. I have tried to find something on the subject but so far have found nothing.

I am writing to you for your opinion, and I am wondering whether you know of any references to black women's exposure being related to their African heritage.

Don't get me wrong; I am no prude, but I hate her showing so much of herself.

Dear Lance: Just when I think I have heard everything, a new one hits me. Your letter is it.

I never have discussed, heard or read anything about the provocative dress of black women being related to their African ancestry. I know there are different clothing styles and colors that are considered African. Many black Americans wear them to honor their African roots. However, I never have heard that the amount of skin black women expose comes from their African heritage.

I believe your girlfriend loves showing her body because she is proud of the way she looks and she enjoys the attention she attracts. Being noticed by the opposite sex is an ego-enhancing emotion, and this is a boost to her self-esteem.

Nothing in your letter has suggested that her dress is beyond the norm of our society. If her display is within what is considered decent, I think you should look to your own emotions.

I have a few questions for you: Why do you not want your girlfriend to be admired by others? Are you insecure, or do you think she will leave you for another? Could your emotions be based upon your religious training? How did your family dress, especially the females? When you see other women dressed like your girlfriend, what goes through your mind? What is your opinion of other women who dress like your girlfriend? Where did this opinion come from?

After you have performed this self-analysis, write me again.

To find out more about Larry G. Meeks and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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