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A Female Santa?
Dear Larry: I think this political correctness thing has gone too far. I went to the mall and decided to take my two children, ages 4 and 6, to see Santa Claus. The line was long, and we waited almost two hours before we reached Santa.
I couldn't believe my eyes; Santa was a woman. Can you believe that? I was so outdone. After my children met Santa, I went to the mall management to complain.
The mall personnel said they had received a lot of complaints from irate parents who were shocked to see a female Santa. The mall representatives told me there was nothing they could do because hiring a female Santa was forced upon them the year before. Apparently, the mall was sued or threatened to be sued by some women's group, and settlement in part was the agreement of hiring a female Santa.
As an aside, the mall personnel snidely said they didn't get one complaint from the children; everything was coming from the adults. I know this may be true, because my children didn't say a word about Santa's being a woman. All they were interested in was getting their requested toys.
Has anyone ever asked you about this? I would appreciate your opinion. — Lorrie
Dear Lorrie: You are the first person to ask me about female Santas. I have gotten a lot of letters asking and/or complaining about black Santas.
I do not see any problems with having a black or female Santa. I do not know anyone who has ever seen the real Santa. So all other Santas are just Santa representatives. Therefore, anyone — regardless of race, sex, sexual orientation, physical size, religion or nationality — can be a representative.
Dear Larry: I was in a bank one night and saw a woman who looked to be about 60 with a little girl who must've been 8. The girl was wearing some kind of costume under her coat, and she was crying. The conversation went like this:
"But I practiced for it!"
"Yes, but you knew you had your reading to do."
"No, I'm going to miss the show!"
"And your book report wasn't finished; you knew that."
From what I heard, this woman wasn't going to let the girl go to her dance recital that night because of a school assignment she hadn't finished. The woman was very calm, no yelling, and she held her ground.
This was during a time when I was teaching at a very bad school. I made the mistake of blaming the kids for their behavior. Looking back, I blame the parents for neglecting their children's education.
When I saw this scene, I knew right away that it's the parent who holds the cards. Kids can't "make decisions" because they haven't got the resources. Kids can't have careers, buy property, take out mortgages, make their own schedules, sign contracts, etc. It's up to the parents to set the tempo.
This woman is probably the girl's grandmother. She is an example of good parenting. Even the most cash-strapped parent can step up to the plate and keep the child on the right path. — Teacher
Dear Teacher: I couldn't agree with you more. Thanks for sharing.
To find out more about Larry G. Meeks and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM
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Comments
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18 Comments | Post Comment
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The fact that Santa was a female does not bother me, but the fact that a women's group sued the mall for NOT having the female Santa is just plain disturbing.
The second letter? A tad disturbing...the child probably worked hard to prepare for this recital. There are PLENTY of other privileges that could have been taken away for not doing the homework. For example, she could have danced in the recital, but not be allowed to go to the party afterward.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Anne
Sat Dec 25, 2010 5:20 AM
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Re: Anne
I'm inclined to agree; the girl should have lost some fun privilege, but keeping her out of the recital not only discounts her own hard work and practice, but also that of her teacher and anyone else in the class who may have depended on her participation to demonstrate their own hard work and dedication. Dance, especially at that age, tends to be a team or group activity, so the mom/grandmom may have been having a negative effect on others, and teaching the child that it's okay to let others down who depend on you.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Kyla Jones
Sat Dec 25, 2010 9:41 AM
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Mom/Grandmom may have specifically told the girl that she had to have the book report done BEFORE the recital. Sometimes a parent has to follow through.
Comment: #3
Posted by: suebearmck
Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:39 AM
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"...they didn't get one complaint from the children; everything was coming from the adults."
I think this line says a lot about the whole situation.
Comment: #4
Posted by: Michelle Keane
Sat Dec 25, 2010 1:24 PM
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I think the grandmother or caregiver in this case could have taken away a fun activity or a toy or whatever, but to keep the child from a recital is unfair. Not only is it unfair to the child, but it is unfair to the group who was expecting her to attend. I know the caregiver was trying to teach the child responsibility, but in a way, it taught just the opposite. That it's okay to just not show up at a function where your participation is expected. On top of that, at the age of 8, homework, book reports, etc., and their subsequent completion should be monitored by the parent and/or caregiver. There should be no reason why an 8 year old has missed an assignment other than the parent dropped the ball to begin with. And to allow the child to dress up for the recital prior to saying no is just cruel.
Comment: #5
Posted by: Su
Sat Dec 25, 2010 10:14 PM
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LW2: If they are paying for the dance lessons, then the girl NEEDS to be at all of her recitals. The grandmother and/or the parents should have known where she was at with her school work all along. How could they not know? They should know where she is every step of the way! A responsible parent checks over the homework!
I'm not saying that she shouldn't have done her homework. Sure, she should lose some privileges, but the dance lessons are another form of homework, and if they are interfering with her studies, then why is she in the classes to begin with?
Comment: #6
Posted by: Paul
Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:54 PM
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Maybe the parent WAS checking the assignments, but the girl lied about it and thought she'd just hand it in unfinished? Maybe her absebce wouldn't ruin the play?
Performing arts are great for kids, and they do provide an incentive to do well in school. But at age 8, the girl needs to learn a lesson. Better to do it now than when the girl is a moody, rebellious teenager. The parent was probably trying to teach the girl to get attention by proving her intelligence and capability, not her dance moves.
Comment: #7
Posted by: Roger
Sun Dec 26, 2010 12:45 AM
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Lw1... what angers me the most about this whole letter is the mall caved in instead of standing up and telling these people they are stupid. Santa is a MAN, Mrs Claus is a WOMAN. There is no PC about it. If the woman wanted to participate then she should have dressed as Mrs Claus. Our community event has the Mrs and Santa together and children sit with one or other other to keep the line moving along. With promises, of course, that Mrs Claus helps Santa with his wish lists. People can complain about anything these days and people, afraid of being sued, will buckle. Excuse me, but EFF that...
LW2, just wanted to say that I agree 100% with Su #6 above.
Comment: #8
Posted by: It's me
Sun Dec 26, 2010 6:10 AM
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There was actually an episode of "Roseanne" that addressed the female Santa thing. Roseanne's character was willing to be Mrs. Claus until she found out that the job paid half as much money as Santa. Her issue was that whomever played Mrs. Claus would be doing the extra work of running around organizing the children, handing out candy canes and taking pictures while Santa got to sit there and get paid more. She convinced them to let her play Santa, she pulled it off, and it was hilarious.
Having said all that, suing the mall for a female Santa strikes me as being petty and ridiculous. I'm all for equal treatment, but pick your battles.
Comment: #9
Posted by: Jon
Sun Dec 26, 2010 12:20 PM
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If lawsuits like this were regularly being laughed out of courtrooms instead of taken seriously, the threat to sue over such a trivial "discrimination" wouldn't have been made to begin with. I blame the judges and juries that allow this nonsense to clog our legal system and levy big judgments against companies like the mall in the letter. From what I understand, common sense still prevails in court in many other Western countries.
Comment: #10
Posted by: Matt
Sun Dec 26, 2010 11:29 PM
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We don't know that the mall was actually sued by anyone; we know that's the perception of the LW who may have lifted an episode of Roseanne for her letter.
We also can't read too much into the girl's recital in L2 - we have no idea if she was a soloist or one of 30. Having been to a fair share of recitals, I feel pretty safe in assuming she was not a soloist. Grandma did the right thing. That little girl is lucky to have her.
Comment: #11
Posted by: capiscan
Mon Dec 27, 2010 5:25 AM
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Ah... the woman's group wasn't suing or threatening to sue because the mall "didn't have a female Santa" any more than someone wold sue a mall for lack of a Native American Santa, a Santa who uses a wheelchair, or an Hispanic Santa.
It was either because someone who otherwise met the qualifications was denied the position and told "we don't hire women for this job" OR because the posting for the job indicated that "no women need apply." THAT is discrimination -- deciding that a mythological being is male and therefore can't be represented by a female, even if dressed in the same fake beard and padding that a thin follicly challenged guy might need.
And as Michelle Keane noted above: the woman did a good job of making the kids feel they were in the presence of Santa. Isn't that what it's about?
Comment: #12
Posted by: hedgehog
Thu Dec 30, 2010 8:22 AM
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It's DEFINITELY the parents who hold the cards. Some of them are single parents, working two or more jobs to keep kids fed, clothed and housed, and absent much of the time. Some of them were never parented well themselves, and may be strung out on drugs or alcohol; the kids are pretty much forced to fend for themselves.
It's of course the parents' responsibility to make sure their kids get a good education so they can become self-supporting, law-abiding, productive members of the community. When the parents don't do it, some kids, like the one LW mentions, are fortunate enough to have other family members step in.
But more and more kids aren't lucky enough to have someone there for them -- and the end result is that the community suffers -- more people ill prepared to make their own way in the world by legitimate means, and so more of them turning to drugs, theft, prostitution, gang membership --- and more of them end up birthing kids into those situations. Which means that more of a community's resources get spent trying to stop those situations and protect people. We all lose when no one steps in -- you just can't throw those kids away and expect that there will be no price paid later.
Comment: #13
Posted by: hedgehog
Thu Dec 30, 2010 8:35 AM
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I very strongly disagree with your response to "teacher" as well as to her view of the woman that did not let a young child participate in a dance recital because the 8 year old had not completed a reading assignment. The writer went on to state that "Kids can't have careers, buy property, take out mortgages, make their own schedules, sign contracts, etc. ... She is an example of good parenting." Since as she states "kids can't make their own schedules", she should have worked to assist the child in completing what was required. A child of that age should not be denied the opportunity to particpagte in a dance recital. Rather the woman could have reitertated the need to complete the book report and discussed with the child how that could be done after the dance recital. Instead she has disappointed a young girl and has not provided the needed support and assistance the child needs for scheduling her time. These are incidents that remain with a child for a very long time and do not teach the desired lesson.
Comment: #14
Posted by: Ina
Thu Dec 30, 2010 2:40 PM
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Ina, by zooming in on the specifics of this situation -- which really aren't at issue here -- you miss the larger point. It's not a referendum on whether the woman hit on the best solution for the situation! None of us, including the letter writer, have enough info to know the particulars that led her to make that call.
What WAS important: the little girl has someone in her life telling her that school work is important, and is willing to take the tougher path (upsetting the kid, allowing a possibly expensive costume go "to waste") to make the point to the child that there are consequences to your actions, and that her grandma/sitter/aunt/whoever doesn't go back on her word. The easier path would have been to say, "Well, you KNOW you were supposed to do that reading -- I told you 3 times today and twice last night, but you always had an excuse why you couldn't do it just then. But let's just go ahead to the recital -- maybe we can skip the reception afterward and stay up a little later tonight to get it done before class tomorrow." THAT lesson would also stick with a kid for a very long time, but the "I can have my cake and eat it too" mentality isn't one you want to teach.
Comment: #15
Posted by: hedgehog
Sun Jan 2, 2011 10:25 AM
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@hedgehog: "THAT is discrimination -- deciding that a mythological being is male and therefore can't be represented by a female, even if dressed in the same fake beard and padding that a thin follicly challenged guy might need."
Santa's a guy. A freaking 4-year-old knows this. I doubt you'd be so forgiving if a man wanted to play Mrs Claus or the Tooth Fairy. Next thing you'll be saying that old & fat guys should be allowed to dress as Superman in a parade.
Get real.
Comment: #16
Posted by: Matt
Mon Jan 3, 2011 12:17 AM
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Last night a young man was reading to us a list of laws still on the books. I don't remember where this one is still on the books, but it was ILLEGAL for a woman to impersonate Santa Claus.
Comment: #17
Posted by: sabrina free
Tue Jan 4, 2011 4:39 PM
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Dear Larry Meeks, I always enjoy your column, but you made a boo-boo on this acceptance of a female
Santa Claus. You see, Santa Claus is just a derivative of the real Catholic Saint and man, Saint Nicholas of
Myra (now in Turkey), a bishop of the Church. Any man can portray him, but to have a woman do so is akin
to having a woman portray Christ Jesus or Martin Luther King. And, as Santa Claus always has had a Mrs
Claus back at the North Pole, are we to assume that with a female portrahing him that there is a "same-
sex marriage?" Let's stop the pc-stuff when it comes to characters... Thanks for all y ou do.
Comment: #18
Posted by: Daniel Barton
Wed Jan 5, 2011 8:29 AM
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