Recently
Responding to Poor Judgment
Dear Margo: This past year has been amazing for me. I successfully passed my first semester in college with a 4.0 while juggling friends and a job. I have a very goal-oriented boyfriend who is compassionate to boot! We have a lot in common and …Read more.
If It's Something Dire, You Will Know About It
Dear Margo: My husband is an only child in his late 30s. My father-in-law is terribly selfish. We live several states away, and because he's the only blood relative left, my spouse does his best to keep in touch with his father. It is rarely …Read more.
What's Up with That?
Dear Margo: I really don't know what to do about my mother. It's as though she's made a career out of not listening to what I say ... or she's dedicated herself to doing the opposite. Right after I told her I was going on a diet and staying away …Read more.
Guess What: Not Everyone Is Kind
Dear Margo: My husband, our children and I recently moved to a new town. Through the children, really, I've met a group of women. They apparently are longtime friends, and one of them invited me to their Wednesday mothers group for lunch. I have to …Read more.
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When the Outside World Has Been Made "The Enemy"Dear Margo: I have a dual problem concerning my mom and my two younger teenage sisters. Mom has always been strict and overprotective, but is more so with my little sisters. They are home-schooled (as was I), but they get no social interaction at all — no friends, never been on a date, never even a sleepover. Mom treats them as if they are much younger than they are, so they act accordingly, being clingy and naive. They don't do well in new situations and do not have the people skills to get by in the world. They're not allowed to do the things I was — harmless stuff like dyeing their hair and getting pierced ears. When I asked why, Mom replied, "I learned my lesson with you." I got into some minor trouble as a teen, but I have a college degree, a family and a good job. My sisters also don't take very good care of themselves: not showering as often as needed, not using deodorant, not shaving their legs or underarms. I think that's because they aren't around anyone besides family, so they don't feel the need to bother. But I know they will be made fun of later and judged because of these things. They also show no real desire to ever discover the world, and I am worried they'll turn out like my older sister, who is in her 30s, lives at home and most likely will die a virgin. They're both bright, sweet girls, and I want them to have full lives and not waste their potential. What can I say to my mom so she'll realize she's not doing my sisters a favor by smothering and overprotecting them? — Suppressed No Longer Dear Sup: You are lucky, my dear, to have escaped. Considering how you turned out, your mother's "learning her lesson" with you doesn't hold water.
Keeping it Vague Dear Margo: I am a newlywed, married four months, and quite happy. We are both in our early 20s and plan to start a family in a couple of years. I've never met my husband's father because he abandoned their family long ago. After rekindling their relationship a few years ago (before we met), he overdrew my husband's bank account and took off again. He was not at our wedding, and I doubt he even knows we're married. Neither of us has any interest in including his father in our lives. (My parents live in the same town that we do, and we all get along fine.) Recently, I asked my husband what he would tell our future children when they start asking about their grandfather. He simply shrugged and said, "Just that he's dead." I said I didn't think that was a good idea because if his father ever shows up, it would make us look like the bad guys. What would you do in this situation? — Perplexed New Wife Dear Perp: I think saying that the other Grandpa went away a long time ago would do the trick. For little kids, that may imply being dead, but it will at least be accurate. I also have a hunch that any reappearance by this man who's proved he's not to be trusted will preclude any introductions to grandchildren. It sounds as if your husband has his number. — Margo, preparedly Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered. COPYRIGHT 2010 MARGO HOWARD DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
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