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Dreams of "What If?"
Dear Margo: I'm a 20-something woman engaged to the best man I've ever known. I am beyond ecstatic to be getting married. My problem has nothing to do with him and everything to do with a guy who was one of my best friends in college. This guy and I …Read more.
Afraid of Little Girls
Dear Margo: Between the ages of 6 and 10, I was severely bullied, but I was given the impression by grownups that such behavior was perfectly normal for children and I shouldn't be so sensitive. (I now realize they probably did not pay attention to …Read more.
Every Problem Does Not Have a Solution
Dear Margo: Many years ago, I got a call informing me that my son was arrested and being held on $1 million bail. That was when I first learned that he is a pedophile.
He has just completed his 20-year prison sentence, and during that time I learned …Read more.
When You Live on a One-Way Street
Dear Margo: My patience has run out with the three living members of my family. My father, his mother and my brother have gone through periods of not talking to each other or to me. My brother wants nothing to do with my father or our grandmother, …Read more.
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When Idiot Strangers SpeakDear Margo: Why do people feel the need to make comments about unusual numbers and sexes and looks of families? I am a mother of three daughters, one son and a stepdaughter. Invariably, when we're out, someone makes a comment. Before the birth of my son we would hear, "That's a lot of weddings" and "Are you going to keep going until you get a boy?" People would actually ask me if I wished one of my children were a boy! When I found out my fourth child was a boy, I began dreading the inevitable, and sure enough people did not disappoint. "Finally got that boy, huh?" I am so thankful to have my children and would have loved them no matter what the sex. Other mothers of large families also tell me of times they've been told, "You have your hands full" or "You already had a boy and a girl, why'd you keep going?" People also comment on my children's looks ... which one they find more aesthetically pleasing and their heights and age differences. A co-worker of mine who has a biological child that appears to be of a different race always gets asked if she's the child's nanny. And all of these comments are made right in front of the children. Please remind your readers that families come in all different sizes, colors and ages, and that a simple "You have a beautiful family" will suffice. — Lucky To Have My Children in N.Y. Dear Luck: What can I tell you? Some people are dumb and think it's fine to say whatever they're thinking. I believe a suitable way to show your displeasure with such inappropriate musings would be to knit your eyebrows together, give them the fish-eye and say nothing.
Taking a Break and Waiting it Out Dear Margo: When I began dating my boyfriend, he would remark occasionally that he would never love again, that he had no heart to give anymore. His ex-girlfriend, whom he was with for four years, did quite the number on him when she dumped him. I was hurt to hear him say those things, and now, nine months later, I realize it might be true. He's admitted he doesn't love me, but that he "cares." He's not very tender, he doesn't like to kiss, and he has never hugged me (the only exception being when we lie in bed to watch TV, he puts his arm around me). What doesn't make sense is that while he has admitted to not being in love with me, he can be caring and thoughtful. He claims to be a very emotional person, but I have never seen any evidence of that. He is sweet, a gentleman, brilliant and entrepreneurial, and has taught me a great deal, both intellectually and emotionally. I am stupidly in love with him, but I am desperate for someone to hold me and tell me they love me. I have no idea what to do. I have never felt this way before, but knowing that he doesn't love me has left me broken. — Downtrodden in Florida Dear Down: I sympathize with your dilemma. It sounds as though this man has much to recommend him, but he has basically told you he doesn't have it in him to love again. I suspect he won't feel this way forever, but for now the situation is no good for you. Perhaps suggest that you two take a break so he can figure out whether he needs you in his life. If you stick around with this arrangement, he will break your heart. — Margo, sensibly Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered. COPYRIGHT 2009 MARGO HOWARD DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
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