Recently
What's Up with That?
Dear Margo: I really don't know what to do about my mother. It's as though she's made a career out of not listening to what I say ... or she's dedicated herself to doing the opposite. Right after I told her I was going on a diet and staying away …Read more.
Guess What: Not Everyone Is Kind
Dear Margo: My husband, our children and I recently moved to a new town. Through the children, really, I've met a group of women. They apparently are longtime friends, and one of them invited me to their Wednesday mothers group for lunch. I have to …Read more.
Good To Go
Dear Margo: My father recently got a diagnosis of stage-four liver cancer. He is adamant that he wishes to die at home. In addition to needing information about how this can be arranged, I have now started thinking about my own health and wishes. I …Read more.
To Be Drawn In or Not To Be
Dear Margo: I'm a ninth grader at a small private school. I recently found out that someone who used to go to my school and is now at another school is smoking and dealing pot. When I found this out, I wondered if anyone at my school was doing this, …Read more.
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This Kid's No CinderellaDear Margo: I am the wicked stepmother. I am a lying, thieving, money-hungry tramp who finds no greater joy than that which comes from destroying another couple's loving, stable marriage. Or so the child has been convinced by her mother. She is 8 years old and loathes me. Her weekends with us are tense and awkward as I try desperately to make light conversation and am met with cold stares and one-word responses. My husband is angrily instructing me to be more "fun" for the girl. While I have never felt that an adult's responsibility is to provide entertainment for children, I need to do something to build a relationship with my stepdaughter. I am by nature a shy and quiet person. The more my husband urges me to become a comedian, the more terrified I become around his daughter because I feel pressured to perform. What can I do to be more "fun"? — Just a Normal, Nice Person Dear Just: An 8-year-old who has been primed to think you are awful is not looking for "fun." Your husband needs to see the total picture for what it is, and for this, you and he may need a few sessions with a professional. Since you can't inform the little girl that her mother is bitter and troublemaking, your best bet is to stop trying so hard, be yourself and warm her up gradually with kindness and thoughtfulness. Kids are intuitive. With time, I think she will see you for who you are. A great mistake stepparents make is to try to move in on a child too quickly, and it is this I suspect your husband doesn't understand. — Margo, relatively Someone Else's God Dear Margo: I'm living at home for the summer between semesters at grad school.
Dear Kit: You sound thoughtful, particularly where your mother is concerned. I find her devotion to her religion admirable, but needing you to believe as she does is less so. I have never understood why some people view agreement with their faith as a validation of themselves, and in your mother's case, to view herself as a "failed parent" should you not believe as she does is off base and kind of sad. I think you should begin this dialogue now because if you wait until you have children, it will have been "undiscussed" for even more years, and will have then taken on another meaning. — Margo, bravely *** Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered. COPYRIGHT 2009 MARGO HOWARD DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
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