Recently
Responding to Poor Judgment
Dear Margo: This past year has been amazing for me. I successfully passed my first semester in college with a 4.0 while juggling friends and a job. I have a very goal-oriented boyfriend who is compassionate to boot! We have a lot in common and …Read more.
If It's Something Dire, You Will Know About It
Dear Margo: My husband is an only child in his late 30s. My father-in-law is terribly selfish. We live several states away, and because he's the only blood relative left, my spouse does his best to keep in touch with his father. It is rarely …Read more.
What's Up with That?
Dear Margo: I really don't know what to do about my mother. It's as though she's made a career out of not listening to what I say ... or she's dedicated herself to doing the opposite. Right after I told her I was going on a diet and staying away …Read more.
Guess What: Not Everyone Is Kind
Dear Margo: My husband, our children and I recently moved to a new town. Through the children, really, I've met a group of women. They apparently are longtime friends, and one of them invited me to their Wednesday mothers group for lunch. I have to …Read more.
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Reinterpretations and RomanceDear Margo: How much is a person supposed to overlook or adapt to in a boyfriend if he has other great qualities? I'm dating a really nice guy (divorced), who is smart and interesting and has good values, but is extremely passive — to the point where he lets people push him around. I find that a total turnoff. For example, if a colleague starts yelling at him for a mistake that was the colleague's fault, he just shrugs and tells her she made the mistake. He is so conflict-averse that he'd rather let it go and believes that being easy-going is the way to be. The other thing is that he's really a lousy kisser, though friends say that can be worked on. I guess I'm used to the man being dominant and aggressive, which is more of a turn-on. On the other hand, I've been accused of being too picky, and I don't want to get rid of a good guy just to see him snapped up by plenty of other women. I've been divorced twice. My first husband was too sweet and passive for me, and my second had too much of a temper and was abusive. I'm 61 and have been single for many years, but I'd rather be in a relationship. What do you think? — Trying To Decide Dear De: Mr. Right For Now sounds like your No. 1 ... which to my mind is better than a replay of No. 2. I assume you've looked for a man who is somewhere between these extremes but have not found him. As for your example of workplace war, his approach sounds pretty sensible to me. What you really need to keep in mind is how he makes you feel. When you say you are 61 and imagine "plenty of women" ready to "snap him up," you are right on the money there. If I were you, I would work on interpreting his conflict-averse qualities as a plus, and think of them as way better than being hooked up with a drill sergeant.
High School Musical, Part 6 Dear Margo: I am a high-school senior. There's a girl named "May" who I thoroughly dislike, but she persists in trying to be my best friend. We became friends in freshman year because we were both hyper and our bus ride was long. She was, and is, cheerful, kind and friendly. However, over the past three years, I have realized that we have nothing in common anymore, if we ever did, and I am very tired of having things that are important to me shot down as stupid or boring. Sometimes I talk about things I find interesting, like current events or books — never with her, but in groups of which she is a part. If it has even a vague whiff of intellectual activity (except "Pride and Prejudice"), May shoots me down in the most contemptuous tone I have ever heard, saying, "That's boring. Let's talk about (pick one: her love life or movies, though, to give her some credit, more often movies)." I don't know what to say to someone who thinks that "The Time Traveler's Wife" was a brilliant movie. — Please Go Away, from Virginia Dear Please: This sounds like one for my pal Roger Ebert, but the underlying problem is actually not about movies. The basis for your friendship — that you were both hyper and it was a long bus ride — does not sound like a rock-solid foundation for closeness. This girl may be cheerful, but she sounds neither kind nor friendly. If you have nothing in common anymore, just keep some distance between you and know that you have moved on. — Margo, developmentally *** Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered. COPYRIGHT 2009 MARGO HOWARD DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
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