Dear Margo® by Margo Howard

Dear Margo: I met an intelligent and absolutely drop-dead gorgeous young woman a few months ago. I thought everything was fine between us until a few weeks ago, so I wanted to get your take on it. A few months ago, the woman in question became the new bartender at one of my favorite nightclubs outside the local area. I spent a lot of hard-earned money for gas and tolls just so I could have drinks with her and talk when the club wasn't busy. About a month ago, she told me she was falling in love with me and wanted to start seeing me outside of the club. For a couple of weeks we were calling and texting each other like crazy until we finally decided to meet up at the beachfront across from the club for our first "official" date. When she didn't show up, I tried calling her, but got a strange recording. I then went across the street to the club to see if she got called in to work, and the manager said she had been fired a week ago and he thought she'd moved out of state. A couple of weeks passed and I was doing my best to heal from this ordeal, when, out of the blue, I get a call from her from an unknown number telling me that she was back in town and wanted to meet me for a movie and dinner that night. I showed up, but yet again, she did not. How many times should I let this happen before I give up on her? — Mystified

Dear Myst: Well, if you are a masochist, one more time would be a trifecta. If you are a quick learner, I would say you are done right now. I can't imagine what this girl's game is, but to stand you up twice, leave town, come back, make another date and still be MIA suggests she is not wrapped real tight and you have dodged a bullet.

Sometimes a fella just has to be wary of these intelligent, drop-dead gorgeous bartenders. — Margo, summarily

And How Do You Feel About Kids?

Dear Margo: I met a great guy two months ago, and I'm more than a little in love with him. We're totally compatible and have tons in common. I can really see myself with him for the long term, but I don't think we're on the same page about having kids. There is no way I'm ever doing that, but he has made a couple of comments that make me think he wants them. I would do anything on earth for him except that. If it comes up after we've spent more time together and it's a deal breaker for both of us, that'll be a lot harder than just ending this now. It's on my mind a lot, though I think it's premature to have that discussion. Should I broach the subject with him now or wait? It's not the childbirth I'm afraid of, it's that I don't want to have kids, raise kids, or have anything to do with that kind of responsibility, which I know would totally alter my lifestyle. — Resolute

Dear Res: Ordinarily I would agree that discussing "will we or won't we?" in a new romance is premature. In your case, however, I would get the subject on the table ASAP because your position sounds immovable to me. Therefore, before you get in deeper, I would raise the issue. Your hunch that he is interested in having a family is probably correct, and this is one subject that every couple should decide on before either committing to each other or marrying. Children are a major consideration — or should be. To have or not to have ... that is your question. You both need to know the answer. — Margo, decisively

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.

COPYRIGHT 2008 MARGO HOWARD

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