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When Dad/Gramps Just Ain't Interested
Dear Margo: By his choice, my father-in-law, "Herman," has had little to do with my wonderful family. He is a negative, toxic individual whom I don't trust given his manipulative and abusive behavior. When his wife finally moved out some …Read more.
When You Think You've Heard Everything ... You Haven't
Dear Margo: I have a doozy for you. My first cousin, "Lily," is a living, breathing waste of space. This girl had her first child at 15, her second at 17. Subsequently, she's had two more. When her first child was 4 months old, Lily's …Read more.
Beyond Tasteless, Not To Mention Tacky
Dear Margo: Can you give me some guidance regarding how to respond to a strange request? A friend we see occasionally got engaged six months ago. He's quite the social butterfly and has a ton of acquaintances. A couple of months ago, his fiancee …Read more.
Marrying a Guy in the Mormon Closet. Oy.
Dear Margo: My wife's 30-year-old daughter is quite immature emotionally and sexually. She has never had a boyfriend. Her father's family is Jewish, but she converted to Mormonism at 18. She has a close friend who is gay, also a Mormon, so he cannot …Read more.
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Marrying For Money Is a Tough Way To Earn a LivingDear Margo: I am 27, and I married for love at 24. It didn't work out, so now I'm considering dating for money. I enjoy traveling, which is an expensive hobby, and my passion is animals. Without a degree (or the time and money to pursue a degree), I can only volunteer my time to causes that benefit animals. I'm dating a really great guy right now, but he has a lot of baggage — an ex-wife and two kids, and he can't "take care of me" financially. Kids have always been a deal-breaker for me, but our relationship was very convenient two years ago when I left my husband and was going through my divorce. Is it "wrong" to marry for money if the guy knows ahead of time that it is one of the main reasons I want to be with him? — Gold Digger Dear Gold: Where to start? It is not "wrong" to marry for money; it is just usually disappointing ... or worse. How much fun can it be, after all, to live like a princess if the guy that goes with it is not someone for whom you have genuine feeling? Some women, however, are so focused on being "taken care of" that they'll put up with anything, and the tradeoff is being a bird in a gilded cage. I also find a serious flaw in your thinking: I don't know that there are men who know for a fact that their money is the main attraction and think that's fine. They may suspect, but I can't imagine it being spelled out. If this is the case, however, then you are in a business arrangement where it's sex and companionship for money, and there is a name for that. — Margo, carefully On His Way To Being Imelda Marcos Dear Margo: My husband and I have been married for a year, and we really love each other. We've yet to have kids and are enjoying our newlywed period. My only problem is that I feel he is overly concerned with purchasing nice things. Sometimes these purchases are quite irrational. He's a huge fan of ordering things online, receiving them, not liking them, and then returning them to then get something else. To be honest, it's exhausting. I find it hard to express myself because I feel he has a difficult time understanding why I don't continually think about my next purchase. Do you think it's merely a difference in shopping habits, or is it a projection of something deeper? — Shopaholic's Wife Dear Shop: Your luck — this is more often a problem that men have with women. Your husband needs a new hobby, as well as some understanding of why he is a compulsive shopper/buyer. The business with the shoes is edifying. His collection of footwear has nothing to do with wearing shoes, which is necessary, but with having several pairs. In a concerned rather than critical way, I would suggest to him that you believe his concentration on things is based on compulsion rather than need, and that his mental health — not to mention family finances — requires him to join a group or see a counselor to unravel his absorption with buying. (In a perfect world, alas, not the one we're living in, he could become a buyer for a department store and live vicariously.) In any case, do encourage him to get a handle on this. It is one thing to aspire to having nice things and quite another to have that goal become the center of life. — Margo, moderately *** Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered. COPYRIGHT 2009 MARGO HOWARD DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
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