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When Dad/Gramps Just Ain't Interested Dear Margo: By his choice, my father-in-law, "Herman," has had little to do with my wonderful family. He is a negative, toxic individual whom I don't trust given his manipulative and abusive behavior. When his wife finally moved out some …Read more. When You Think You've Heard Everything ... You Haven't Dear Margo: I have a doozy for you. My first cousin, "Lily," is a living, breathing waste of space. This girl had her first child at 15, her second at 17. Subsequently, she's had two more. When her first child was 4 months old, Lily's …Read more. Beyond Tasteless, Not To Mention Tacky Dear Margo: Can you give me some guidance regarding how to respond to a strange request? A friend we see occasionally got engaged six months ago. He's quite the social butterfly and has a ton of acquaintances. A couple of months ago, his fiancee …Read more. Marrying a Guy in the Mormon Closet. Oy. Dear Margo: My wife's 30-year-old daughter is quite immature emotionally and sexually. She has never had a boyfriend. Her father's family is Jewish, but she converted to Mormonism at 18. She has a close friend who is gay, also a Mormon, so he cannot …Read more.
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If Only She Loved Deer and Trout

Dear Margo: I have been married to a very nice man for 10 years, but I am bored to death with this marriage. He doesn't like to do anything but hunt and fish. I like to go out and be social — dinner, movies, etc. He doesn't cheat on me or hit me; he waits on me and gave me a beautiful home. There is no love or passion between us, however. I have had health problems for the last three years, and they have left me feeling blah. I have no desire for relations of any sort, and I think he should find a woman who shares his interests, because he and I have none of the same interests. We watch TV in separate rooms, and I go out with my in-laws more than I go anywhere with him. I want to leave, but I can't seem to move toward the door because he is not a bad guy ... he just isn't the guy for me. What can I do? How do I get him to realize he is not happy, either? — Languishing in Maine

Dear Lang: This is just a wild guess, but your husband may be happy and it may be only you who thinks the marriage is dead. It is kind of you to want to find him a companionable partner, but this seeming altruism may be to salve your conscience. I suspect you would like the marriage to end — though you do not want to be the one to end it. I would venture to guess that because of your ongoing health problems — for three years, yet — you are depressed. The underpinnings of the marriage, however, do not sound solid. It is nice that your husband doesn't cheat on you or hit you, but the absence of infidelity and violence doesn't add up to a functional union. Having different interests can be managed, but no love and no passion make things sound pretty bloodless to me ...

and I think watching TV in separate rooms is symbolic of the relationship. I would hash this all out with a couples counselor. You might be surprised at what is said. I hope you will not continue to cruise along with things as they are. — Margo, correctively

Where There's a Will, There's ... an Unhappy Relative

Dear Margo: I lost my beautiful mother five years ago. Ever since my mom's passing, my aunt (her baby sister) claims that Mom left her something in her will. She has told other family members that my dad is keeping what she believes is her "rightful inheritance." She plans to contact my parents' attorney and feels that Dad has either hidden or rewritten the will. Of course, none of this is true. I have offered to show her all the legal documents, but she still persists in her ridiculous quest. Her actions have put a wedge between family members. My sisters and I have told her to do whatever she feels she needs to do. In your opinion, is this the best way to handle the situation? — Irritated

Dear Ir: Yes, I think your position is exactly the right one. Interesting that your aunt's suspicions have dragged on for five years without her making a move. (There may even be a statute of limitations issue here.) Should she contact your parents' attorney, let him be the one to explain the documents and, with luck, set her straight. It is always surprising to me how some relatives can be dead certain (no pun intended) that the wishes of the deceased (benefiting them) have been tampered with. It is for this reason that wills are dated and require witnesses. — Margo, testamentarily

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.

COPYRIGHT 2009 MARGO HOWARD

DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.


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