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When Dad/Gramps Just Ain't Interested
Dear Margo: By his choice, my father-in-law, "Herman," has had little to do with my wonderful family. He is a negative, toxic individual whom I don't trust given his manipulative and abusive behavior. When his wife finally moved out some …Read more.
When You Think You've Heard Everything ... You Haven't
Dear Margo: I have a doozy for you. My first cousin, "Lily," is a living, breathing waste of space. This girl had her first child at 15, her second at 17. Subsequently, she's had two more. When her first child was 4 months old, Lily's …Read more.
Beyond Tasteless, Not To Mention Tacky
Dear Margo: Can you give me some guidance regarding how to respond to a strange request? A friend we see occasionally got engaged six months ago. He's quite the social butterfly and has a ton of acquaintances. A couple of months ago, his fiancee …Read more.
Marrying a Guy in the Mormon Closet. Oy.
Dear Margo: My wife's 30-year-old daughter is quite immature emotionally and sexually. She has never had a boyfriend. Her father's family is Jewish, but she converted to Mormonism at 18. She has a close friend who is gay, also a Mormon, so he cannot …Read more.
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He's Single ... and Stridently SoDear Margo: I'm a single man, 41, and have successfully operated my business since I was 18. I have a lot of friends, ride a motorcycle, and own a classic car and my own home. There are not enough hours in the day for me to do all of the things and see all of the people I would like. Between running my business, taking care of my home and possessions, traveling occasionally, and just seeing to the things we all must do in life, my life is full to the brim. I'm perfectly happy in every way. I knew even in childhood that I was not husband or father material. I've dated here and there, but find the whole serious relationship idea repulsive, and every time I've tried it, this feeling is confirmed. Most women my age are either after a father for their kids or a well-packed wallet. I've also seen many close friends end up with vicious, expensive divorces, child custody battles, endless child support and alimony payments, deep wounds and hurt feelings. For me, I come and go as I please and see whom I want, whenever I want. Why do people think being single is some horrible existence? I believe having many good friends and being happy with oneself is the key to a happy life, and thankfully, I have that. People who don't know me think I am gay or have some kind of problem. Why do they think everyone has to be married and miserable? — Single and Loving It! Dear Sing: You can stay single as far as I'm concerned, hon. Marriage is not for everyone. And given that you link "marriage" with "miserable," and "relationship" with "repulsive," I feel certain you are doing some lucky woman a big favor. What I do find regrettable is that your exposures have been such that you see women as huntresses for sperm donors with ATM cards, and men as poor schnooks saddled with support payments and emotional scars. A Lot of Us Have Wondered the Same Thing Dear Margo: I went through the school system during the '50s and '60s; my children, in the '70s, '80s and early '90s. Never once did we hear about children suffering from emotional or social disorders as in ADHD, OCD, autism or Asperger's syndrome. Now, in my grandchildren's time, it seems that about 40 percent of their classmates are on some form of medication for behavioral/social/emotional problems or learning disorders. Can it be that "recreational drugs" or "junk food" eating on the part of the parents has produced this mutation? When I was a child and did something unacceptable, I was generally punished with a spanking or "grounding" that, although not life-threatening, made me think twice before I did the same thing again. Nowadays, when a "timeout" doesn't do the trick, it seems the next step is putting the child on some sort of drug regimen or a psychiatrist's couch. I really would like your opinion. Did the old saying "spare the rod and spoil the child" become an actuality? — Inquiring Minds Want To Know Dear Inq: I, too, have wondered about the prevalence of the things you mention. They weren't routine at all a few generations ago. I don't believe an answer has been determined. My guess is that there are many elements mixed up in a possible explanation. The disorders, causes and "cures" most likely have to do with a stew of environment, chemicals and reliance on pharmaceutical fixes, as well as some illnesses and behaviors that never had a name before. You are not the first person to wonder about the differences between childhood then and now. As for your conjecture about "spare the rod," my instinct tells me that permissiveness is not the major factor at work here. — Margo, speculatively *** Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered. COPYRIGHT 2009 MARGO HOWARD DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.
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