Dear Margo® by Margo Howard

Dear Margo: I am about ready to walk away from my job and not look back. It's not the job itself or my co-workers. It's the public that I have to deal with eight hours a day, five days a week.

I am a telephone receptionist at a major hospital in the Midwest. I have been there 15 years. Many times, I am the first person callers speak with, so I give them their first impression of the hospital.

What is my frustration with the public? I spend much of each day playing 20 questions with callers. A majority of incoming calls are from patients who want to know who their doctors are, what appointments might have been made for them, what their appointments are for, etc.

In addition, when I try to draw out just a little more information, they respond with, "I don't know. That's why I am calling you." I have lost count of how many times I have been yelled at and called ugly names. The other frustrating calls are from local people wanting the number for area restaurants, out-of-town hospitals and various agencies. Sometimes I even offer to look them up.

Unfortunately, I am getting to where I can no longer keep my cool and be polite. Do you have any advice other than to start looking for a new job? — Liz

Dear Liz: You are going beyond the call of duty, my dear, at the potential cost of an ulcer. (Then you will need a doctor.) You are not 411. The idea of people not knowing who their doctors are boggles the mind, as does asking a hospital operator for restaurant recommendations.

I think you should just tell the people with nutty questions: "I am sorry, I do not have that information," then disconnect, or switch them into an office you think might be helpful. — Margo, tenaciously

Can You Tell Me Where All the Hammers Are?

Dear Readers (though being a fan of Stephen Colbert's, I want to say, "Nation"): Not long ago, I ran a letter giving a young, single woman advice I'd heard from a male friend: Go to a hardware store on a Friday night.

I got tons of mail wanting an elaboration of why. I asked my pal to explain why that was a premium place to scope out single men. Here's his answer:

Dear Margo: There I was in the hardware store one Friday night picking up supplies for my weekend project, and I looked round wondering why I was surrounded by single guys. Then I realized: A guy is in a hardware store on a Friday night because . . .

— he is not out on a date.

— he likely has a house project, which implies he is stable enough to have a place.

— he has time over the weekend to do the project because there is no woman in his life.

— he is good with his hands because he didn't hire a repair person to do the job.

This man is a specific kind of guy who . . .

— cares about the things in his life.

— is good with his hands/handy.

— is single.

The kind of guy who fits into the above categories is also the kind who wears his wedding ring. Plus, simply by looking at what the guy is holding, or which aisle he is in, the woman can figure out what his project is and make conversation accordingly.

It is important to note these guys might not clue in that this conversation is a social opportunity, so even after 15 minutes of talking, the woman may need to ask if he'd like to continue the conversation over a cup of coffee.

This expedition has the added benefit that the women don't have to dress to the nines; they can just throw on their favorite old jeans and a sweater. — Just a Guy

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.

COPYRIGHT 2007 MARGO HOWARD

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