Mom Purloins the Diary Dear Margo: I found out last week that our 17-year-old high school junior is having sex with her boyfriend! First of all, I found out the wrong way: I snooped in her room and read her diary. Second, she would never admit to it, so my husband …Read more. The Bad Seed Dear Margo: I never thought I would write to an advice columnist, but here goes. I've been dating someone for about a year now, and we talk of marriage occasionally. He's ready for commitment and very gung-ho about us getting married, which is …Read more. Oh, and, Uh, By the Way... Dear Margo: I am soon to be 27 years old, and my only serious relationship ended a few years ago. In hopes of avoiding the standard meat market of dating, I'm considering registration with eHarmony.com. I've also had my share of casual relationships.…Read more. It Is in the Bible, but Not in the Stars Dear Margo: I have been dating a wonderful man for four months now. He is very kind and sweet in every way. We are much in love and happy together. There is only one problem: We are different religions. I am a Christian; he is agnostic. I have …Read more.more articles
Auntie, Dear, Guess What Your Daughter's Doing?
Dear Margo: I confided to my cousin, with whom I'm very close, that I'd become intimate with my boyfriend of one year. My parents, who are very conservative, did not know.
Quite frankly, I was not ready to tell them. I'm still going to college, and although I would have told them eventually, I didn't feel the time was right for them to know just yet.
When I told my cousin about it, I asked her not to say anything. Well, it came to pass that she told my mom, who in turn told my dad. This completely destroyed my faith and trust in my cousin. It was not her place to say anything.
My mom, not wanting a rift in the family, thinks I need to "just get over it and forgive her already," but I'm not ready to. I can't even bring myself to talk to my cousin.
Is my mom right? Do I just need to get over it? — Bitter and Betrayed
Dear Bit: I think your cousin is a blabbermouth who broke her promise to you and revealed a confidence. I can think of no good reason why she ran and tattled. The subject was clearly not of the everyday, chitchat variety, and you had asked her to keep it to herself. It's fine with me if you aren't talking to her. — Margo, irately
A NOT-SO-CHARMING "PRINCE"
Dear Margo: I've been married four years and have been happy most of the time. Lately, however, my husband has become very condescending and treats me like a child.
He acts as if it takes a long, drawn-out explanation on any matter for me to understand. Then he asks, "Do you understand? Are we clear on this?" I have a college education and am not stupid.
This past weekend, he told me off over some rental property he owns. I have done every bit of the physical labor in preparing this property for sale. I felt too angry to respond in a civil manner at the time, so I held my tongue until I was calm.
When I tried to speak to him, he said, "I am going to stop having serious conversations with you because you won't let anything go. Once I have told you what the problem is, it's over. There is nothing more to discuss." I could just scream.
This man has gotten to the point where he won't even get himself a glass of water. He will ask, "Do we have any water?" Translation: Get me some water. He went to counseling with me one time, and when we got in the car, he told me he could see us ending up divorced if I ever tried to get him into counseling again.
Please help. — Alone in Pennsylvania
Dear Al: This man, who, for whatever reason, has "lately" become condescending and demanding, sounds like a four-door jerk. I cannot think of a reason for this new bad behavior, unless he's trying to goad you into combat mode so perhaps you'll end the marriage.
There may be another woman, or it's possible he's slipped a stitch (in which case you'd need a neurologist, not an advice columnist). In any case, there is no reason for you to put up with the "new" him, who is certainly no improvement over the old one.
His prediction of ending up divorced may simply be his wish. To which I say: Give it to him if he is unable to revert to his old self. — Margo, conditionally
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
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