Classic Ann Landers

Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999.

Dear Ann Landers: I have been dating an attractive woman for several months, and we have a good relationship. There is one big problem, however. "Lucinda" smokes more than a pack of cigarettes a day.

When we first began dating, I told her I did not want to be in the company of anyone who smokes. After that, she did not smoke around me, neither in my car nor in my home. Lately, however, to my surprise, Lucinda has been lighting up in my presence. I offered her a financial incentive to quit (big bucks), and she did for two months. After I paid her the money, she started to smoke again. This woman keeps promising to quit, and then goes back on her word. Her mother has emphysema, and I expect that, eventually, she will have it, too.

My doctor says that, considering my age and medical history, passive smoke inhalation could be dangerous. Therefore, as long as Lucinda smokes, I will not consider marrying her. I have tried all forms of persuasion, but I am now convinced that she will never quit. I have decided to stop seeing her altogether if she does not quit by November. Am I being cruel? What would you advise in such a situation? — Undecided Somewhere in Tennessee

Dear Tennessee: Dump her — now. Marriage would be a constant battle. Take her back only if she manages on her own to quit smoking for three months and promises to stay off cigarettes permanently. If she goes back on her word, give her a Michigan handshake and start looking for a tobacco-free woman.

Dear Ann Landers: Yesterday, I took my grandson, age 7, and two of his friends to see a children's movie.

While they were playing video basketball, I checked out the other games. I saw a young boy insert a quarter into the slot and watched as realistic-looking people appeared on the video screen. I was shocked to see the teenager maneuver the figures so they would shoot and blow each other up, with body parts flying everywhere. The purpose of the game was to see how many people one could kill in the allotted number of seconds. I watched this young boy as he kept feeding money into the machine and mowing people down.

Why is this sort of game allowed after all the trouble we are having with our children killing each other? Any answers out there, Ann? — A Concerned Grandmother in Louisville, Ky.

Dear Grandma: Game manufacturers will continue to supply violent games as long as they bring in money. The parents of young children in your community should get together and call the person who runs the arcade and request that the offensive game be removed. Since that catastrophe at Columbine High School, people are much more sensitive to this problem. Move on it promptly.

"A Collection of My Favorite Gems of the Day" is the perfect little gift for that special someone who is impossible to buy for. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $5.25 (this includes postage and handling) to: Collection, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

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