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"CLASSIC" ANN LANDERS Dear Ann Landers: Why don't YOU MYOB? A while back, you wrote a column on "Reconciliation Day" in which you urged your readers to "forgive and forget — let bygones be bygones." At 10:30 on the night that column appeared, we received a …Read more. "CLASSIC" ANN LANDERS Dear Ann Landers: Please tell your readers not to dump their mothers, fathers or other loved ones into just any old nursing home and assume they will be well cared for. Urge them to select a home that has been looked into carefully, one where they …Read more. "CLASSIC" ANN LANDERS Dear Ann Landers: I certainly can understand why some of the women who write to you need an unbiased party to help them avoid the land mines that show up in relationships AFTER they have become deeply involved. I was one of those women myself. My …Read more. "CLASSIC" ANN LANDERS Dear Ann Landers: You said in a recent column that young people must learn decent language at home. I believe outsiders also can be a big help. A few years ago, I went swimming with my 8-year-old granddaughter and her friends. Some teenagers nearby …Read more.
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Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999.

Dear Ann Landers: I am 19 and a single mother of a 1-year-old girl, "Amanda." I attend college part time and am working to provide my daughter with the best life possible.

Amanda's father is the problem. He does not pay child support and rarely sees his daughter, although I have bent over backward to arrange times that are convenient for him. He never bothers to call and let me know when he is not able to make it. He simply doesn't show up. When he does keep an appointment, he is always late, which causes me a great deal of stress, and I resent it.

Tell me, Ann, how important is Amanda's father going to be in her future? Frankly, I don't think he deserves to be part of her life. I am troubled by the thought that Amanda may grow up to be a "Daddy's girl" and will want him to walk her down the aisle when she gets married. He has done nothing to merit such a place of honor, and it eats at me that he might get the privilege anyway.

On the other hand, I don't want to see her on talk shows when she is 18, looking for her long-lost father. Any advice for me? — Emotional Mom in Oklahoma

Dear Mom: Let me get this straight. Amanda is a year old, and you are worried that her father (who rarely shows up) might want to walk her down the aisle when she marries. At the earliest, this will be approximately 17 years down the road.

It IS important for your daughter to have her father in her life, but as of now, it appears he has little interest, so don't push it. He should be paying support, however, so push THAT. Please put the wedding scene on hold for a while, dear. The way things are going in our society, Amanda may never get married. She could wind up CEO of General Motors. Or she may do both.

Dear Ann Landers: Having read your column for the past 40 years, I feel as if I know you as a friend. I am sending an item that appeared in the California Retired Teachers Association newsletter. The author is unknown. I hope you will think it's funny enough to share. — David H., La Crescenta, Calif.

Dear David: I do, and I shall. Thank you. Here it is:


6 Comments | Post Comment where is it?
Comment: #1
Posted by: VAdame
Sat Jan 14, 2012 9:56 PM
Sooooo where is it?
Comment: #2
Posted by: Candace Miller
Sat Jan 14, 2012 10:55 PM
OK, I'll help you out with your boo-boo. I searched for the other text in the column and found the entire column from 1999 oniine in the Chicago Tribune. The part you cut was:

Why Worry?

There are only two things to worry about . . .

Either you are well, or you are sick.

If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you are sick, there are two things to worry about . . .

Either you will get well, or you will die.

If you get well, then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you die, there are only two things to worry about . . .

Either you go to heaven or to hell.

If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.

If you go to hell, you'll be so darn busy shaking hands with old friends,

You won't have time to worry.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Steve C
Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:43 AM
Steve C: Our Hero.
Comment: #4
Posted by: Khlovia
Mon Jan 16, 2012 3:30 AM
OK - I know this column is from a long time ago, but I can understand this young woman's fears. My ex-husband decided he wanted nothing to do with his daughters after we got married. I tried to remain neutral and didn't tell him what to do although I wish he hadn't cut them off. A couple years later, the older one attempted suicide and he still wouldn't respond to her. He got a condemning letter from her psychiatrist saying he was the adult, why couldn't he talk to her, and still my ex did nothing. I lost most of my respcet fo rhim over that selfish attitude of his. Now, close to 30 years after all this happened, I see on his Facebook page that all is forgiven and he and she enjoy a close relationship, and with her children too. I suppose if she could forgive him for ignoring her cries for help all those years ago, then that's all that really matters. Nevertheless, he was WRONG. but these are the things that we really can do nothing about.
Comment: #5
Posted by: CJ Perry
Mon Jan 16, 2012 2:38 PM
Dear Ms. Landers, I am a 40 year old woman trying to raise a 9 mo. old baby, ive been trying to recover from a poison i mistook for a drug. i was 16 in a military school when this happend so young. well i have no custody to 5 of six children, my son means the world to me. weve moved into a nice place, eating well and doing some thinking. My mom has passed away just last year and for the life of me cant come to tearms with it. i need her now more than ever. its so unfair. I blame the goverment for everything. i have no memory of conception, it gets boggeling. how on gods earth do these things happen. sure my faith dignaty selfrespect morals values have been put to the test, surgery for recovery, outpatient treatment, And the worst part is the one who hurts me with abuseve behaviors is still around. weve lived togather from 1994 till now . I love my baby boy more than anything on earth. we homedelivered and i felt something for the first time after delivery. its so strange how god works. i just wish hed say hi a little reasurance, cute baby. im suing for personal injury, and again miss my mom. this world has alot to learn.
Comment: #6
Posted by: Lisa Purcell
Thu Jan 19, 2012 2:54 PM
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