Classic Ann Landers

Dear Ann Landers: From time to time, I see letters in your column from heartbroken grandparents who have been forbidden from seeing their grandchildren by a vindictive ex-daughter-in-law or ex-son-in-law.

I was in a terrible marriage to an abusive man. There was only one reason I didn't file for divorce: his parents. "Clarence and Carla" were wonderful people, and I was afraid they never would speak to me again if I left their son. I could not have been more mistaken. Clarence and Carla knew that their son was mistreating me and that our marriage would not last. I found out later they were terrified they never would see their grandson again.

Ann, I can't tell you how terrific and supportive my ex-in-laws were. My son and I spent countless dinners and holidays at their home after the divorce. Never once did they blame me for the way things turned out. I made sure they were able to see their grandson whenever they wanted. They came to every school function and scout meeting. When a job transfer sent them to another state, we visited as often as possible and were on the phone frequently.

After I remarried, they welcomed my new husband into their home. I helped them find a house near ours when they retired. When Carla passed away, Clarence came to our home for dinner several nights during the week. He also took our son on vacations. When he died, my husband was a pallbearer at the funeral.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of those wonderful, loving people.

I am thankful my son had 11 years with his grandparents because they shaped him in so many positive ways. Grandparents fill a special place in a child's heart. Please tell your readers how important it is to keep that special link in the family chain. I am — Missing Them in Omaha

Dear Omaha: What a beautiful tribute. I thought of my own three grandchildren when I read your letter. Family ties are important and are well worth the time and effort.

Dear Ann Landers: After four years of trying to get pregnant, including painful and expensive fertility treatments, we adopted a baby. The very next month, I became pregnant. When we tell everyone the great news, they say, "It happened because you finally relaxed."

Ann, I just want to scream when I hear those words. Relaxing has nothing to do with infertility. Please tell them to shut up. — Boca Raton, Fla.

Dear Boca: They won't shut up, but you can tune them out. I never could figure out why a pregnancy was anybody's business except the two people involved. When outsiders make it their business, they should be rewarded with dead silence and an abrupt change of the subject.

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ANN LANDERS (R)

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