Classic Ann Landers

Dear Ann Landers: I am 29 years old, and my husband, "Jeff," is 25. We met a year ago, and after six months of dating, we were married in a civil ceremony in Las Vegas by a justice of the peace. We had intended to have a big church wedding with all the trimmings a few months down the road, but that trip to Las Vegas changed everything. We figured our parents would be upset if they knew about the quick hitching in Nevada, so we decided not to tell them.

I met Jeff's parents at Christmas, and they were very sweet to me, assuming that we were engaged and living together. We sat down with his folks and planned a lovely church wedding. Several days before the event, my in-laws somehow found out about our civil ceremony in Las Vegas and became very upset. Jeff's father said it was a waste of time for him to travel eight hours to see a "fake wedding." He refused to come.

Jeff's mother hollered at us for a solid hour, which made me a nervous wreck. Nevertheless, she did show up, along with Jeff's brother. On top of that, three of Jeff's best friends were angry that we hadn't told them we were married in Nevada, and they folded out at the last minute. I was left with three unescorted bridesmaids. As you can imagine, the wedding was a disaster.

I realize we should have told Jeff's family that we already were married, but nonetheless, I think their behavior was unbelievably rude. It ruined what should have been the most beautiful day of my life. My family, thankfully, was very supportive.

Dear Texas: Your duplicity already has cost you a great deal. Please don't add to your losses by making another hasty decision. Give your marriage a chance to work. Some counseling is in order. Start with the clergyman who performed the church wedding. Good luck. You're going to need it.

Dear Ann Landers: I invited a friend to a Friday night baseball game. No sooner had we arrived at the ballpark than the game was rained out and rescheduled for "later." My friend and I went home. The following week, I invited someone else to go to the rescheduled game. My friend was upset and said she was entitled to that ticket. I say the original invitation was for that particular Friday night, not for whenever the game was played. It has strained our relationship.

Baseball season has started again. We have agreed to abide by your decision, Ann. Do I owe her another game or not? — Mike in Bridgewater, N.J.

Dear Mike: Was the date for a baseball game or for an evening out? If you didn't go anywhere else that evening, you owe her another game. Pay up.

When planning a wedding, who pays for what? Who stands where? "The Ann Landers Guide for Brides" has all the answers. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Brides, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

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