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RELEASE: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: Ten years ago, I was diagnosed with kidney disease. My mother told me …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: Too many parents have no idea what goes on all day in school, and yet, …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, JANUARY 29, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: I am the mother of a very confused 5-year-old boy. His father and I …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, JANUARY 22, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: I got a kick out of the reader who thought the "W" in women'…Read more.
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Classic Ann Landers, May 31

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Dear Ann Landers: I have been married for eight years to my high-school sweetheart. We have four beautiful children, and I adore my husband. The problem is my father-in-law, "George." He has a crush on me.

When it started, about a year ago, I thought it was my imagination, but the problem has escalated. George sends me gifts (which I return) and phones several times a week "just to say hello." Lately my in-laws have been spending an inordinate amount of time at our house. My mother-in-law suspects nothing.

Because of the time they now spend together, my husband and his father have developed a much closer relationship, which makes all this very difficult. My husband is thrilled that his father is taking such an interest in us and our children. I know the real reason for that is George wants to be closer to me, but I cannot bring myself to tell my husband what his father is up to.

I've told George to back off, but he keeps coming on strong. Please advise me. I am — Between a Rock and a Hard Place in Pennsylvania

Dear Rock: What you need is a short course in assertiveness. I will give it to you now, no charge. Tell George you find his behavior reprehensible and to knock it off pronto, before his wife and your husband notice that you do not wish to have anything to do with him. Make it clear: no more phone calls and only gifts the family can enjoy — nothing personal. The word from Landers HQ is: "Get tough, lady."

Dear Ann Landers: My stepson is 23, and his girlfriend, "Ella," just turned 21.

To celebrate her birthday, Ella's parents took them both to Las Vegas so they could drink and gamble legally. Nice? Here's the real problem. Ella's parents booked only one room at the hotel for all four of them. The parents slept in one bed, and my stepson and Ella took the other.

My husband and I are shocked by this. I know my stepson is sexually involved with this girl, but I do not think it is proper for her parents to encourage them to sleep together. My husband said a real gentleman would have thanked the girl's parents and paid for a room of his own.

We have discussed this with our son, but he sees nothing wrong with his behavior, especially because his mother (my husband's ex-wife) said it was OK with her. I know the boy is old enough to live his own life, but is there some way we can emphasize proper social decorum and values? Or are we just being prudes? — Seattle Sue

Dear Sue: I'm afraid it is too late to talk "proper social decorum" to that crowd. You are not prudes. Their behavior was trashy. If you need an ally, you have one in me. I hope you will send copies of this column to all concerned.

When planning a wedding, who pays for what? Who stands where? "The Ann Landers Guide for Brides" has all the answers. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Brides, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.


Comments

2 Comments | Post Comment
I realize this was probably written years ago but: I think Ann was missing something in her advice to LW1. The LW has already told dad to stop and it hasn't worked. Telling him again isn't going to do any good. She needs to go talk to her husband and immediately. If he finds out by way of intercepting one of these gifts, he is probably going to conclude that his wife is participating in this crush. If she tells him, she might find out what kind of husband he is. Does he take her side or does he decide that he prefers the connection he has with his dad?
Comment: #1
Posted by: Datura
Sun May 31, 2009 6:08 AM
Eh, I think they are prudes. The kids are 21 and 23, let 'em sleep together, especially considering they're already sexually involved. What I would give to be able to just SLEEP with my love...
Comment: #2
Posted by: Dimethyltryptamine
Tue Jun 2, 2009 11:11 PM
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