Classic Ann Landers February 22

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RELEASE: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: Too many parents have no idea what goes on all day in school, and yet, …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, JANUARY 29, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: I am the mother of a very confused 5-year-old boy. His father and I …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, JANUARY 22, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: I got a kick out of the reader who thought the "W" in women'…Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, JANUARY 15, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: I am 19 and a single mother of a 1-year-old girl, "Amanda." …Read more.

Classic Ann Landers, February 22

Dear Ann Landers: I have a friend who is driving me nuts. "Kara" unloads her problems on me, and they are the same problems she's been having for the past two years. I try to be understanding, but the girl is beginning to get on my nerves.

When I first met Kara, she was a lively, fun-loving person. Now she is in a constant depression, and it worries me. She has a relatively good life and no financial problems whatsoever. When I ask her why she's so unhappy, she says she's lonely, she feels betrayed by friends, she's dissatisfied with school and she's worried about her health. When I ask why she feels betrayed, she has no answer. I have suggested that she change her major or take a semester break, but she refuses. I offered to get her a puppy, but she wouldn't hear of it. She won't even try simple relaxation techniques, such as yoga or taking bubble baths.

She talks my ear off complaining about her life. I've suggested counseling, but she doesn't see any sense in talking about her problems with a stranger when she can call up a friend and unload. Ann, I want to help her, but she is driving me crazy with all the drama in her life. What can I do? — Nameless and Weary in the United States

Dear Weary: You can continue to let Kara kvetch to a point, but then insist that she talk to a professional who can give her some guidance. Perhaps she needs an antidepressant.

There are some very effective medicines available that have proved to be godsends to depressed people. Tell her.

Dear Ann Landers: I am tired of people who refer to emergency medical technicians and paramedics as "ambulance drivers." There is a great deal of education involved in being an EMT or a paramedic, from initial training courses to continuing education classes.

We do not go to school and attend seminars to be "drivers." We spend long hours studying so that we can provide the best possible emergency care to the people in our communities. When we are called to accident scenes, we use our knowledge to save lives.

Ann, I love my job, but it is frustrating to walk into a home and hear someone say, "The ambulance drivers are here." Please make it clear to your readers that we don't just drive the ambulances; we save lives. — An EMT in Memphis, Tenn.

Dear EMT: You made it clear. I'm pleased to remind people of the splendid work done by paramedics and emergency medical technicians. Thank you for the opportunity to give them the praise they deserve.

Looking for an uplifting, quick read? "A Collection of My Favorite Gems of the Day" contains hand-picked jokes and witticisms from the world over. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $5.25 (this includes postage and handling) to: Collection, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

Comments

7 Comments | Post Comment

i have a friend who, as i have recently put it, sucks the life out of me. while she continues to climb the ladder to managment at her job and makes new friends left and right, she always complains about her life. its her salary (she still lives at home, has 2 jobs, and pays no rent), her car (ive seen her go thru 3 or 4 decent ones), her work schedule or anything really. car and job are important but it doesnt' stop there and its constant. it's everything. and whatever it is, i don't mind listening but after years of her whiney uncertainty over miniscule details and the excruciating analyzation of every minor event in her life, it's hard to care as much.

Comment: #1
Posted by: jan
Sun Feb 22, 2009 5:25 AM

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Dear Jan,
I am so with you! I call my friend a "psychic vampire." For the 5 years I have known her she has done nothing but complain about not having a job, not having any money (I have no clue how she pays the rent), hating her boyfriend, and whining that she can't give up smoking dope, that she "doesn't have a life." Her words.
I have tried very hard to be a cheerleader for her. I have tried to encourage her to see her doctor, quit the pot, get a new hobby, quit the boyfriend, do volunteer to network & do some good for her community, as well as, get out of the house, and get a job. Perhaps not to do this all at once, maybe just quit the illegal substance abuse first, then get the damn job. But what she really wants is a man to swoop her out of her pathetic life and make everything perfect! She is a loser. I have given up on her.
I know I shouldn't even call her a 'friend' because I feel so negatively about her now. I have had to cut ties with her. Like Hell I will let her drag me down too! Life is hard enough swim without having a millstone around my neck!
I am so angry with her that a part of me really hopes that she sees this.

Comment: #2
Posted by: Kate
Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:29 AM

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Who the hell refers to a paramedic (or EMT as you prefer) as an "ambulance driver?" I think I recall reading this letter when it originally appeared in the newspaper years ago. I wondered the same thing then as now. Nonetheless, it is possible the LW is being a bit oversensitive. He probably responds to a lot of accidents involving people that aren't very bright to start with. When he arrives, they're probably thinking about the situation that warranted calling him...not how to address him when he and his compatriots arrive. I doubt that they would deliberately set out to offend someone who's come to render emergency medical help.

Comment: #3
Posted by: Matt
Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:15 PM

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Re: Kate and Jan. The people you're describing are probably without purpose or meaning in their lives. For me, that need is met by Jesus. At the least, these people need to go out and help someone else through volunteer work, even if for only a few hours a month, or perhaps a service project of some kind in their communities. (Two other things that us Christians are big on.) Countless people have overcome the problems you describe, in this way. If your "friend" refuses and continues to complain, then you're right to cut them off. Malcontents suck the life right out of you.

Comment: #4
Posted by: Matt
Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:19 PM

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Dear Matt:
Its not just Christians that believe in community service and I have suggested volunteerism to her. I understand the benefits of volunteering. That doing good for others makes you feel better about yourself, gets you out of the house, creates networking opportunities, adds experience to your resume, as well as, makes you a more interesting person to talk to. Also, I was raised that giving back to your neighbor/community is simply the right thing to do. The "Charity begins at home" thing.
The most priceless thing about this 'friend' of mine is that she also talks about how Christian she is and is trying to drag me to her church. Since birds of a feather... you know, the last church I would want to attend is hers! The church may actually be terrific but she is a poor sales representative.

Comment: #5
Posted by: Kate
Tue Feb 24, 2009 12:00 PM

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I've always thought that part of training for first responders included sensitivity to the anguish and anxiety of the patient/victim and their families. I have had to call for help in the past, and believe me, the last thing on my mind was what to call the people who responded. Sorry about that, but I think you need to deal with it.

Comment: #6
Posted by: Penni
Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:52 PM

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I've always thought that first responder training included how to be sensitive to patients/victims and the people on the scene. I have had to call 911 and believe me, the last thing on my mind was worrying about what to call the ambulance staff. I probably did call them "ambulance drivers" when my mother was near death. Sorry about that, but I think you just need to deal with it. And if you are in the job for the status, maybe you shouldn't be there.

Comment: #7
Posted by: Penni
Sat Mar 21, 2009 7:00 PM

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