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RELEASE: SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: I have been reading your column for a long time, hoping someone would write in about my problem, but it hasn't happened, so here I am. My husband is 52 years old. We have been married for 15 years. Although I was a willing and …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: Jack Sprat and I have something in common: Our wives are both too fat. I don't know about Jack, but I haven't had sex with my wife in four years. She gradually has ballooned in size and is now at least 100 pounds overweight. There …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, OCTOBER 5, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: I just learned that my ex-husband is the father of a baby boy with his new wife. I am devastated by this news. We have been divorced for 10 years, but I never stopped loving him. Eight months after I married "Andy," he had a …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: I am a postal clerk, and every day, I see many cards, letters and packages sent to our mail recovery center (formerly known as the dead letter branch) because people do not put return addresses on the items they mail. I find it …Read more.
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Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999.

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Dear Ann Landers: I have been married to a wonderful man for 15 years. He has two children from a previous marriage — a son, "Trent," and a daughter, "Elsie." My mother-in-law died five years ago. She stated in her will that her diamond engagement ring would go to Trent when he became engaged and that Elsie would get her beautiful cocktail ring.

The following Christmas, Elsie told me in confidence that she truly wanted the engagement ring instead of the cocktail ring. She gave me a sob story about Trent's being Grandma's favorite and how she always was left out. I fell for it and let her talk me into giving her the engagement ring, with the understanding that if Trent became engaged, she would give the ring back to him.

Six months ago, Trent met a lovely girl and proposed to her. When my husband told me to get Grandma's ring back, I panicked and bought a ring that has a stone of a similar size — only the stone is a zircon, not a diamond. I then called Elsie and told her to return the ring pronto. She refused. I have called her every day since, but she says the ring now belongs to HER.

Meanwhile, Trent's fiancee had the ring appraised and was informed that it is a fake. When she confronted me, I confessed. Feeling guilty, I purchased a genuine 1-carat diamond ring and gave it to Trent's fiancee, along with a fancy bouquet of flowers. I have called repeatedly to tell her how sorry I am, but she avoids me and has made clear that she no longer trusts me.

My husband says I am to blame for this mess, and it is killing me. How can I make it up to her? — Sorry in Rock Hill, Ga.

Dear Sorry: You did serious damage to your credibility, dear, and it's going to be a long time before you patch this one up — if ever. If you continue to be contrite and straight with Trent and his fiancee, they eventually may believe you are truly sorry and forgive you. I hope, for the sake of family unity, it happens soon.

Dear Ann Landers: I'm no expert on wedding etiquette, so I hope you can help me out. There is nobody else I can ask without putting myself on the spot and making myself look cheap.

A friend of mine got his girlfriend pregnant. The two of them decided to get married in a private ceremony and invited immediate family only. A few weeks later, I received a wedding announcement with a gift registry card inside.

I am really offended by this. He knocks up his girlfriend, invites no friends to the wedding, and expects us to send presents. Is this tacky, or am I wrong? — Just Wondering in the Rockies

Dear Just: Stop wondering. It is beyond tacky; it's gross. Ignore the "invoice."

Planning a wedding? What's right? What's wrong? "The Ann Landers Guide for Brides" will relieve your anxiety. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Brides, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM



Comments

1 Comments | Post Comment
NIP IT IN THE BUD!
My bf and I ride the VTA bus every morning to and from work, there is a women who we became friends with, we have done a few things with her and her bf, I'm having arguments with my bf because she flirts with him on the bus and I'm sitting right next to him, I find that rude and inconsiderate, and on several occasion she has mentioned to him, in front of me, as if I wasn't there. She says Neal I was going to give you a call to see if you wanted to hook up for lunch, since Anna is out of town. She's done this at least 3 times in the last 2 mos. I confront my bf, we argue because he says he isn't the bad guy in this situation, he also says that I'm just being jealous and if I didn't like it, I should be the one to tell her, I feel he should NIP it in the bud. He should tell her that he is very uncomfortable having her talk to him like that especially while I'm sitting right next to him. My question to you is, Why should I have to confront her, am I responsible to step in and say something? I feel he should. Please help me understand my role here.

Thank you so much,
AMB from San Jose Ca.
Comment: #1
Posted by: abracamo
Tue Dec 22, 2009 1:00 PM
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