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RELEASE: SUNDAY, AUGUST 31, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I retired to Florida a few years ago, leaving our three grown children back in our hometown up north. We are having a wonderful life, and my husband is as happy as a lark. I also should be happy. Everything here is …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, AUGUST 24, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: Here are my spouse's excuses for avoiding sex: I'm tired. I'm too nervous. It's hot. It's cold. I'm too full. I have a headache. I have a stomachache. The kids might hear. I have to go to work. My mind is on other things. It's too …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, AUGUST 17, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: I am a 60-year-old man who doesn't have any interest in anything or anyone. I'm bored with everybody I meet. I am bored with my job and bored with my life. I grew up in an orphanage and am unable to show love because I never had …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, AUGUST 10, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: I am getting married next year to a wonderful guy. His mother passed away when he was very young. My future father-in-law never remarried, but he has had a "significant other" for about 18 years — it just happens to be …Read more.
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Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999.

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Dear Ann Landers: I have been married to a wonderful man for 15 years. He has two children from a previous marriage — a son, "Trent," and a daughter, "Elsie." My mother-in-law died five years ago. She stated in her will that her diamond engagement ring would go to Trent when he became engaged and that Elsie would get her beautiful cocktail ring.

The following Christmas, Elsie told me in confidence that she truly wanted the engagement ring instead of the cocktail ring. She gave me a sob story about Trent's being Grandma's favorite and how she always was left out. I fell for it and let her talk me into giving her the engagement ring, with the understanding that if Trent became engaged, she would give the ring back to him.

Six months ago, Trent met a lovely girl and proposed to her. When my husband told me to get Grandma's ring back, I panicked and bought a ring that has a stone of a similar size — only the stone is a zircon, not a diamond. I then called Elsie and told her to return the ring pronto. She refused. I have called her every day since, but she says the ring now belongs to HER.

Meanwhile, Trent's fiancee had the ring appraised and was informed that it is a fake. When she confronted me, I confessed. Feeling guilty, I purchased a genuine 1-carat diamond ring and gave it to Trent's fiancee, along with a fancy bouquet of flowers. I have called repeatedly to tell her how sorry I am, but she avoids me and has made clear that she no longer trusts me.

My husband says I am to blame for this mess, and it is killing me. How can I make it up to her? — Sorry in Rock Hill, Ga.

Dear Sorry: You did serious damage to your credibility, dear, and it's going to be a long time before you patch this one up — if ever. If you continue to be contrite and straight with Trent and his fiancee, they eventually may believe you are truly sorry and forgive you. I hope, for the sake of family unity, it happens soon.

Dear Ann Landers: I'm no expert on wedding etiquette, so I hope you can help me out. There is nobody else I can ask without putting myself on the spot and making myself look cheap.

A friend of mine got his girlfriend pregnant. The two of them decided to get married in a private ceremony and invited immediate family only. A few weeks later, I received a wedding announcement with a gift registry card inside.

I am really offended by this. He knocks up his girlfriend, invites no friends to the wedding, and expects us to send presents. Is this tacky, or am I wrong? — Just Wondering in the Rockies

Dear Just: Stop wondering. It is beyond tacky; it's gross. Ignore the "invoice."

Planning a wedding? What's right? What's wrong? "The Ann Landers Guide for Brides" will relieve your anxiety. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Brides, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM



Comments

1 Comments | Post Comment
NIP IT IN THE BUD!
My bf and I ride the VTA bus every morning to and from work, there is a women who we became friends with, we have done a few things with her and her bf, I'm having arguments with my bf because she flirts with him on the bus and I'm sitting right next to him, I find that rude and inconsiderate, and on several occasion she has mentioned to him, in front of me, as if I wasn't there. She says Neal I was going to give you a call to see if you wanted to hook up for lunch, since Anna is out of town. She's done this at least 3 times in the last 2 mos. I confront my bf, we argue because he says he isn't the bad guy in this situation, he also says that I'm just being jealous and if I didn't like it, I should be the one to tell her, I feel he should NIP it in the bud. He should tell her that he is very uncomfortable having her talk to him like that especially while I'm sitting right next to him. My question to you is, Why should I have to confront her, am I responsible to step in and say something? I feel he should. Please help me understand my role here.

Thank you so much,
AMB from San Jose Ca.
Comment: #1
Posted by: abracamo
Tue Dec 22, 2009 1:00 PM
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