Classic Ann Landers

Dear Ann Landers: Two years ago, I became engaged to "Andrew." His generous father gave us $1,000 as an engagement gift, and we invested the money in a certificate of deposit at my bank. A few months later, Andrew and I broke up. We returned all the engagement gifts.

The CD matured six months later. I gave the CD money to Andrew and instructed him to give the money to his father. I spoke with Andrew several times in the months that followed and asked him repeatedly whether he had returned the money to his father. He always said, "Not yet." I recently was transferred to a job on the opposite coast. I called Andrew and said, "I really don't care what you do with the CD money, but at least let your father know that I did not keep it. If you don't tell him, I will."

Two weeks ago, Andrew's father sent me a beautiful housewarming gift. When I wrote the thank you note, I mentioned the generous engagement gift and said I hoped Andrew had returned it by that time. I didn't want the man to have the impression that I acted inappropriately.

Now Andrew won't talk to me. He says I am "a tattletale." What do you say? Am I — A Big Mouth in the Big Apple?

Dear Big Apple: I say it's a good thing you have enough integrity for two people because Andrew seems sadly lacking in that area. Obviously, he kept the money. Continue to take the high road, and consider yourself lucky to be free of that name-calling wimp.

Dear Ann Landers: Please help me before it is too late.

Two years ago, my infant son died. That day, a part of me died, too, and I can't seem to get it back. Every day is a struggle. I have a 4-year-old child, who is often the only thing that keeps me going.

My husband and I have been married for seven years, but I have no feelings for him. He is a wonderful father and husband, but I am empty inside and have told him so. He says he still loves me. He has offered to sell our house and set us up in separate apartments, but I don't know whether that's fair to him. I never have wanted — nor have I asked for — a divorce, but I can't decide what to do. Please give me some advice. — Jane in Wisconsin

Dear Jane: You are suffering from clinical depression. If you are not in counseling, I recommend it — and it should be with a psychiatrist, who can put you on medication and prescribe the dosage. A psychologist cannot do this.

You are fortunate to have a husband who is so understanding. When you get your life under control, you might consider having another child. Please check this out with the doctor, and good luck to you.

Lonesome? Take charge of your life and turn it around. Write to receive Ann Landers' booklet "How To Make Friends and Stop Being Lonely." Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $4.25 (this includes postage and handling) to: Friends, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

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