Too Old To Be Sleeping with Grandma Dear Annie: I am very close to my 12-year-old grandson. His family life is not good, and since his parents live nearby, the boy is at my house more often than not. The problem is, he started sleeping with me when he was a baby and still does it. I …Read more. Gastric Bypass for Quitting Smoking: No Fair Trade Dear Annie: I am quite a bit overweight. My 29-year-old daughter is concerned that I might have a heart attack and die on her. Meanwhile, she has been smoking cigarettes since she was 16 years old. She said to me, "If you have gastric bypass surgery,…Read more. Witness to a Friend's (Abusive) Marriage Dear Annie: As a witness to a friend's marriage, I vowed to help keep their relationship strong. Would you please print something I could give them about verbal abuse? His wife has a serious drinking problem, and when she's had too much, she goes …Read more. Girlfriend, Uninvited Dear Annie: I have been dating "Pete" for three years and never get invited to his place. He lives in a mobile home. At first, he said he was embarrassed for me to visit. I did see it once and thought it wasn't bad at all. He has since remodeled the …Read more.more articles
Woman Would Rather Sleep With Daughter Than Hubby
Dear Annie: My wife sleeps with our 9-year-old daughter, "Alexis." This started shortly after Alexis' birth and continues to this day. At the same time, my wife complains bitterly about our lack of emotional and physical closeness. My response is that I'm always available upstairs — alone.
I have tried over the years to coax her back into our bedroom using a combination of the carrot and the stick, but nothing seems to work. I often tell her that sleeping with our child is a symbol of our apartness. Nonetheless, she has made it clear that she enjoys sleeping with our daughter and prefers it to sleeping with me. She has chosen her child over her husband.
Please publish my letter so my wife will see it and hopefully change her priorities. I've tried everything else and don't know what more I can do. — Indy
Dear Indy: Some women use their children as an excuse to avoid the marital bed. The repercussions not only damage the marriage, but also the child. And at this point, Alexis will make it extremely difficult to change the sleeping arrangements, which will only make your wife more likely to maintain the status quo. She needs to stop, and it will help if she understands and faces her reasons. Please get into counseling, preferably together, and work on this.
Dear Annie: A few years ago, my husband and I purchased a townhouse in Arizona and now spend every winter there. Between family and friends, we have quite a bit of company.
The problem is, there is a lot to do and see here, and everybody wants to do and see all there is. We have now seen most of the sights several times, and the cost of doing so runs into quite a bit of money.
We don't want to be rude and send them alone, but neither are we interested in seeing things again and again.
Dear To Go: By all means. It is perfectly fine to tell your houseguests that they should enjoy their time on their own. Give them suggestions of what to see and how to get there, and then perhaps join them later for dinner.
Dear Annie: I feel compelled to write after reading the letter from "Confused in Illinois," whose husband has started working out in the nude in front of their 12-year-old daughter. I realize there is probably nothing going on that is immoral, but as an educator and mother of three daughters, I am concerned.
Working out in the nude in front of your child is wrong. I would never even consider doing this in front of my own daughters. Why is he now so interested in the workout process, and why is the daughter only involved when nudity is a part of the equation? A small pair of shorts, even underwear, would not impede his movement.
The daughter needs to know this is not "normal" behavior. It is a form of exhibitionism, and she may have problems dealing with this in the future. Innocent or not, as parents we have to make decisions that are in the best interests of our children. The writer said they are not prudes, but the fact that she is questioning the behavior says it all. I go back to the advice of my grandmother: "If something feels wrong, it probably is." — Concerned Mother
Dear Concerned: You make an excellent point that if the nudity is making Mom uncomfortable, there could be an underlying reason, and she should not be reluctant to tell Dad to put some shorts on.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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