Two Boys, Mixed Signals and Hopelessly Confused Dear Annie: I am 13 and an avid reader of your column. I have been working at a summer program, and I ride a school bus there and back. Two young men ride the same bus. I have a crush on one of them (I'll call him "Liam"), but I happen to know he …Read more. Genital Herpes and Physical Intimacy Dear Annie: I am a 68-year-old woman who has been divorced for more than 30 years. I haven't been in an intimate relationship for the past 10. Last year, I discovered that I have genital herpes. The doctor said I may have had it for years before …Read more. Physical Abuse: False Charges or Different Perspectives? Dear Annie: When my daughter was 14, she falsely accused me of physical abuse. She is now 33 and brings up these false charges whenever she is having difficult issues in her own life. She blames me for all of her problems. Even worse, my sister …Read more. Yearning for Family in the Ozarks Dear Annie: Several months ago, my husband and I moved to the Ozarks after falling in love with the area. We left behind a lot of dear friends and the life we had known for 25 years, but we are quite happy here. The only sadness is my brother. He …Read more.more articles
What's Behind Constant Accusations of Cheating?
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been together for five years. For the most part, we have a great relationship. The problem is, my husband is seven years older and had a few bad relationships before we got together. Because of this, he is always telling me I am a cheater and cannot be trusted.
Annie, I haven't done a single thing in my past or present to make him feel this way. It is a constant fight between us. I have suggested that maybe we should get counseling so we can work on this, but he hasn't been willing. Is there anything else I can do to make this annoying part of our relationship go away? — Irritated Wife
Dear Irritated: A person who constantly accuses the spouse of cheating when there is no cause is either cheating himself or too insecure to function in a healthy marriage. It is no way to live. First ask him to see his doctor and find out whether there is a medical reason for his behavior. Then stop "suggesting" and insist that your husband go with you for counseling. If he refuses, go on your own to decide whether this is something you can tolerate or alleviate.
Dear Annie: Why do stores think that having sales associates accost you in every aisle will make you enjoy shopping? A simple "Hello, how may I help you?" is all we need. Following us around and asking all sorts of questions is annoying. Knowing this will happen every time I enter the store makes me want to shop elsewhere.
People like to be acknowledged. They do not like to be hounded. If I want to wander around and look, I don't enjoy being bombarded by five salespeople asking me the same stuff over and over. A customer who wants help will ask for it. Otherwise, please leave us alone. Businesses should train their employees to treat people as valued customers, not idiots. — Toledo
Dear Toledo: You make a valid argument, but we have to say, for every person who doesn't want to be accosted, there are 10 who wish they could find a salesperson altogether.
Dear Annie: Not long ago, you printed a letter from "Too Clean, Too Fearful," a woman with anxiety about highway travel. She did not want counseling. You suggested relaxation techniques but didn't specifically mention Tai Chi or Qigong classes, which are available at many community centers, fitness clubs, YMCAs and senior centers.
I teach both Tai Chi and Qigong and have been practicing for more than 24 years. It was part of my personal "quit smoking" program in 1988. Tai Chi is "relaxation in motion." It is a moving meditation that teaches one how to relax in action. It is the only exercise I know that does this. Qigong is a cousin of Tai Chi.
These exercises can be done in private or in a park, alone or with a friend. You can share the activity with your spouse to learn how to relax together. They can be learned while seated for those who have difficulty standing. They can be enjoyed for a lifetime and help develop the mind, along with better balance and coordination. Tai Chi and Qigong are dynamic, fun and relaxing, and yes, they relieve anxiety. — Caroline
Dear Caroline: Thanks for the additional suggestions. We hope our interested readers will check out these activities.
Dear Readers: Today is Flag Day and the 34th Annual Pause for the Pledge of Allegiance at 7 p.m. (Eastern time). For more information, log on to americanflagfoundation.org.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to email@example.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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