Live and Let Love -- and Encourage a Prenup Dear Annie: My recently widowed 74-year-old mother is now dating. She met "Paul" less than a year ago and is already talking about marrying him. Paul has been married several times, hasn't held a steady job in more than 30 years and lives with his …Read more. Strange Bedfellows Dear Annie: Over the holidays, I stayed at my cousin's home. My cousin has two children, a daughter and a son. The son is 14 years old. I noticed that the boy's grandmother slept with him in the same bed. I think she has a weird obsession with the …Read more. No New Furnishings for the Freeloaders Dear Annie: Last summer, my 19-year-old college student granddaughter asked to rent my basement bedroom, with its own bathroom and access to my laundry room. I agreed and asked for a minimum rent to cover utilities. She attends school on a …Read more. Fair-Weather Claire Dear Annie: My sister's son, "Jared," lives close to us but far from his mother. We always invite them to family get-togethers, but are never sure whether they will show up. Sometimes they don't respond, sometimes they show up without responding, …Read more.more articles
The Risks of Going Commando
Dear Annie: My 19-year-old daughter came home for the summer after her first year of college. When I did her laundry, I couldn't help noticing there were no panties.
I was stunned when my daughter told me that she and many other girls at school had stopped wearing panties altogether. I asked if her clothes weren't getting ruined by staining from natural secretions, and she said they wear tampons.
Annie, I recall a lot of news reports about toxic shock syndrome. Women were getting it from wearing tampons without changing them frequently enough. Could my daughter be endangering herself? — Worried Mom of Britney Spears Wannabe
Dear Worried: We contacted J. Douglas Van Arsdale, M.D., Associate Clinical Professor, Dept. of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. Here is his response:
Dear Worried Mom: The abrasive nature of pants, particularly if they are tight, would not make this a comfortable endeavor. However, chronically wearing a tampon may increase the risk of minor vaginal wall abrasions, and thereby increase the risk of HIV infection. Also, the absorbent nature of tampons would decrease lubrication.
A more dramatic concern is toxic shock syndrome. This is a rare event most often associated with super-absorbent tampons that have been left in place for extended periods of time. But one can never absolutely rule out this possibility. So I would recommend the following:
Have an exam by a gynecologist to be sure that she is healthy and has no sexually transmitted diseases. Make sure she knows how to use a condom and uses one every time she has sex. She may also need a lubricant. Be certain that she has been vaccinated for HPV. If she must go commando, she should use a low-absorbent tampon, and even then there may be a very low risk of toxic shock. And most importantly, stay away from the paparazzi.
Dear Annie: I've been married to "Bob" for three years.
I don't handle large crowds well, and at these holiday functions, there are at least 30 people crammed into a house with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. We always stay at his folks' place for several days, and I am constantly uncomfortable.
I asked Bob if he would consider celebrating at least one holiday by ourselves, but he won't hear of it. He says his parents would be hurt. Thanksgiving will be here shortly, and I am already dreading it. Can you help? — Holiday Blues
Dear Holiday: Putting up with the in-laws at family gatherings is part of marriage. Although you shouldn't have to spend every holiday with Bob's family, if it is only a few days in November and December, please try to do your best. Having young children often provides an excuse not to travel so much. Right now, start with a compromise. If you can afford it, insist on staying at a hotel instead of at his parents' home, at least part of the time. This will give you some privacy and may provide you with the equanimity to tolerate the rest.
Dear Annie: Thank you for telling "Peg" that not all sex offenders are a threat to others.
In our small town, there is one person on the sex offender registry. During a party at his house, he stepped outside to urinate in the backyard. It was dark, but there was a child in the yard next door who apparently saw him and told his parents. The young man was convicted of being a sex offender, even though he was unaware of the child's presence. So not all registered sex offenders have sexually molested anyone, nor will they. — Small Town
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