Many, Many Wrongs Don't Make a Marriage Right Dear Annie: I have been married to "Phil" for 15 years. Between the two of us, we have eight children. Our youngest is still in school. The problem is, I'm not happy anymore. I've made mistakes, stupid ones, including flirting with other men. Phil …Read more. Term Limits for the Long-Term Bachelor Dear Annie: I recently married a man who has never been married before, although he lived with a woman for 15 years. They never had children, and "Vic" cheated on her for years. He paid for everything, and she had a free ride. He essentially paid …Read more. Kick the Kid Out Dear Annie: When my daughter graduated high school, my husband and I agreed that she could live with us for free because she was paying college tuition. "Norma" is now 21 and has her degree. She still refuses to pay any kind of rent, although she …Read more. Placating Mrs. Petty Dear Annie: My husband passed away in January. I found him dead on the floor when I came home. Then the ambulance, fire truck, police, undertaker and coroner came. My grandchildren wanted to get here as soon as possible, and my granddaughter ended …Read more.more articles
I Spy Transcripts of My Wife's Infidelities
Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married for 20 years. I was laid off recently for the second time. While reviewing our finances, I noticed that our cellphone usage had substantially increased. I asked my wife about it, and she explained that she was catching up with friends.
I normally do not look at her phone, but I decided to see who she was yakking with. It turns out she was calling and texting a former male co-worker. I then found a naked photo of the man on her phone. She tried to pass it off as a joke and then said he'd been drinking when he sent it. Additional investigation led me to discover there were plenty of late-night texts and calls, and that she was also sending intimate photos of herself to him.
I feel betrayed and cheated on. We have talked and are working through this situation. I want to ask my cellphone provider for transcripts of their texts just to see if there is more to the situation than she is admitting. Do you think this is a wise choice? — Feeling Cheated On
Dear Cheated On: No. If you find nothing, you still have to deal with the problem at hand. And if you discover more pictures or evidence of an affair, you will feel worse, and those words and images will stick in your head for a long time. Your wife has betrayed your trust, whether or not she slept with the guy. Please get counseling. A third party can help you find the best way to get past this.
Dear Annie: I once invited my 60-year-old next-door neighbor to swim in our pool. She then informed me that she would come over daily after dinner and didn't plan to phone first. As she put it, "It's not convenient to call every day."
I tried to tell her politely that the pool is visible from our living room and it is not appropriate for her to use it without our knowledge. We are concerned with our privacy and her safety, not to mention our liability should anything happen to her.
I thought it was common sense and established social decorum that one should not swim in a neighbor's pool without an invitation. Am I correct? How do I mend our relationship? — Confused Pool Owner
Dear Confused: You are correct. Your neighbor doesn't understand boundaries and has limited social acumen. She also has a short fuse. We don't know why you want to mend fences with someone who apparently only values you for your swim facilities. If you apologize for upsetting her, she will expect to have complete access to the pool again. The best you can do is smile and say hello when you see her, and hope for the best.
Dear Annie: I am writing in response to the letters about school lunches. I have been in the student nutrition profession for more than 20 years. Our school offers a wide variety of fresh fruits and vegetables every day, along with salads and meatless options. All of our pasta, rice, bread and pizza crusts are whole grain. We no longer have fries every day, and nothing is deep-fried. We even offer a grilled chicken sandwich.
People don't realize all the regulations we must follow to comply with the National School Lunch Program. Many districts don't have the money for fresh produce. We encourage the students to eat more fruits and vegetables, but if they don't have them at home, it is a struggle. We need the help of parents. The public rarely hears the positive side. Please help us out. — Proud "Lunch Lady" from Minnesota
Dear Minnesota: Consider it done. It's good to know that some schools are doing their best to provide healthy choices for our kids.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to email@example.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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