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His Wife Wants To Spend the Night at a Friend's...

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Dear Annie: My wife and I have been together for 13 years, married for four. We have a wonderful 11-year-old son.

We got together while we were in high school. Neither of us ever had many close friends or much of a social life. But all of a sudden, my wife has become a social butterfly. I hardly see her without her best friend, "Suzy." In the past three weeks, I've had exactly one meal with my family without Suzy present.

Now my wife wants to stay overnight at Suzy's house. I've told her that I don't mind having Suzy around occasionally, but not all the time, and I don't agree with this staying overnight business. I trust my wife, but she should sleep at home. Every time I mention my feelings, she gets angry and says I'm jealous and don't want her to have any friends, or she closes up tight and won't speak to me for days.

I love my wife, but I married her, not Suzy. I want her to have friends and have fun, but am I wrong to expect her home at a reasonable hour, and to let me know where she's going? — Home Alone

Dear Alone: Married women do not make a habit of sleeping over at a girlfriend's house unless there are problems in the marriage — and it sounds as if there may be. Couples that get together in high school can sometimes feel they've missed out, and Suzy appears to provide excitement. Your wife owes you complete honesty. Insist on it.

Dear Annie: This past weekend, I attended my 25th class reunion. I wore a gorgeous necklace that I had ordered online. I was unaware that two of the prongs that were holding a stone in place were sticking up.

As one of my classmates was leaving, I went to hug her goodbye and the necklace snagged her knit top. I was so embarrassed as I tried to untangle myself. I expressed my sincere apologies, and she left.

It makes me sick thinking I may have ruined her top, although I don't know if she cared or if she managed to fix it. I am also upset with the company that sold the necklace. For what I paid, I assumed it would have been of better quality. How should I have handled this at the time, and what can I do now? — Want To Do the Right Thing

Dear Want: The answer is essentially the same. Call this woman and say, "I'm so sorry I ruined your top. Please let me have it repaired or replaced." She will then tell you what it costs, or she will tell you not to bother, but you are obligated to make the offer. Perhaps the company that sold you the defective necklace will help defray the cost or offer a refund.

Dear Annie: Here's another take on the casket controversy. More than 30 years ago, my husband and I decided to be cremated after we attended a viewing. My husband said, "I don't want people standing around commenting on how I look after I'm gone. I don't want anyone to see me."

My mother-in-law was vehemently opposed to cremation. When my husband died, she demanded to see him, and I gave in. At the funeral home, her first words were, "He looks awful!"

It has been 21 years, and I still feel as if I went against my husband's wishes. The memorial service was beautiful, but my mother-in-law's words stand out, and the hurt remains even though she has been dead for a long time. — Cremation in My Future

Dear Future: We think you did the right thing. This was not a public viewing where everyone could see your husband. This was his mother. Preventing her from seeing her son's body would have created all kinds of misery. It's time to forgive yourself.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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Comments

35 Comments | Post Comment
Wonder if the first letter writer has given any thought to the fact that perhaps his wife is a closet lesbian or is at least "bi-curious." Grown women do spend the night with a female friend if they've been out drinking at the clubs and it's safer to do so. But to plan a sleepover just for the sake of being in each other's company for the night is not very common. Maybe they are interested in each other.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Su
Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:14 PM
Wonder if the first letter writer has given any thought to the fact that perhaps his wife is a closet lesbian or is at least "bi-curious." Grown women do spend the night with a female friend if they've been out drinking at the clubs and it's safer to do so. But to plan a sleepover just for the sake of being in each other's company for the night is not very common. Maybe they are interested in each other.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Su
Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:14 PM
Sorry for the double post.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Su
Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:15 PM
LW1 - My friends and I know several couples in marriages like this. The grapevine's unanimous gossipy guess is that the people we know are in-the-closet.
Comment: #4
Posted by: FAW
Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:18 PM
LW1 - What a strange situation. First of all, I have to say that I disagree with Annies that married women don't sleep over at a girlfriend's house unless there are problems in marriage. I've done it, my friends have done it. There is nothing sinister about it. Married women are occasionally allowed to have a girls' night out, and it doesn't have to involve drinking or clubbing. But three weeks of having Suzy to dinner every night is bizarre.

LW2 - Agree with Annies.


LW3 - Didn't read past the first sentence.
Comment: #5
Posted by: Ariana
Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:32 PM
Re LW1: The wife may certainly be discovering she is bisexual or lesbian. Alternately, she may be having an affair with another man, and Suzy might well be too, and they are scheming to cover up for each other. Just a thought. Don't ask me how I know.
Comment: #6
Posted by: Claire Beatty
Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:47 PM
As in the first letter, I had a friend who was really possessive
of my time. She and her husband essentially
had little left in their marriage; he was a
Policeman working much overtime and she,
alone all day and night...well, she drank alone.
She and I had the "instant friendship spark,"
and as a Marine wife with oft-deployed husband and
no children we filled a void in each of our
lives, that of talking and being heard, and that
beautiful gift of laughter! Our lives were vastly
different; I as a struggling Sargent's wife and she,
The LA jet-setter born into wealth. We spent
many NON-sexual nights together doing our
own skits and laughing like children. I could go
to her house to feel elegant; she could go
to mine to feel casual. We hung out for years
but could not ride the storm that came from
simply my wanting to be at home with my
husband to fix our marriage. She didn't want
(nor did her husband want) to work on their relationship
--after the horrible marriage modeled by her
own parents, she seemed content to have
it at least a better marriage than they, probably
why she sometimes went ballistic over my choosing
family time over girl time. But for several years
I vicariously got to live in the fastlane of her
life and in turn she got to experience the warmth
of real family through my life. Nothing touchy
or feeling, but- for both of us- a rollercoaster-
quick experience of how "the other half" lived. In
the end, we both knew Tay we preferred our
OWN to that of the other, and thusly, we
merely faded from each other's lives. So,
lesbianisms aside, LW1's wife may be using her
friend as an experimental control against her own.
Yet the husband does need to open up the
dialogue to determine if something is missing
in their relationship (as was laughter and stim-
lating conversation was from mine.) Ideally
the man could also begin to talk about what
he needed from the relationship instead of
what he is getting, which is lonely and resentful.
And perhaps the wife could begin weening
herself from the friend slowly. A true friend would
understand that spouse/children have a special
obligation to each other.
Comment: #7
Posted by: Seamus Pook
Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:10 PM
To Want to do the Right Thing (LW 2) the Annies are correct that you should call the woman whose top was snagged, and immediately offer to replace it or have it repaired. Even though it was an accident, it was still caused by a piece of jewelry you own and were wearing at the time. However, for the Annies to say "perhaps the company will help defray the cost or OFFER a refund" is off the track. It sounds as if you bought this item recently, and "online" companies must offer quality merchandise. If you report the item as defective, since it is, tell them via telephone or email that you expect either a replacement item in good working order, or a full refund. They should comply by making the purchase "right" and you shouldn't be denied your request. Decide which way you want this defective order to be rectified, then contact the company. Be prepared to write a letter to the management supervisor, or the CEO if necessary, and if you communicate by telephone, be sure to document the name of the person or people you speak with, the details and all information regarding their intentions to fix this problem. In the meantime, offer to get the sweater fixed as soon as you can, because a refund or replacement order can take some time, up to 8 weeks in many cases, to be resolved.

To Home Alone (LW 1) although it does sound as if your wife has been spending an inordinate amount of time with Suzy, it doesn't necessarily mean there are problems in your marriage. Talk to your wife, however, and ask her if this "overnight" issue is going to be once, or does she intend to do it frequently? If you have an 11-year-old, your child is the right age to have friends over or to stay with friends, not the mother. If it's a special occasion and your wife can be reached by cell phone that night, it sounds okay to me. I have, on rare occasion, spent the night with my married friend from high school when her husband has been out of town for his job. We sleep in separate rooms. Usually we go out for dinner and a movie, then we sit up talking till 3 in the morning, then the next day I'm on my way. If your wife isn't willing to explain her reason for staying overnight with Suzy more than once, then indeed you should ask her to be honest and validate her intentions.

To Cremation in my Future (LW 3), yes, please let this go. You honored your late husband's wishes. If you had not allowed your husband's mother to say "good-bye" I'm sure she would have never let you hear the end of it. Your husband wasn't viewed by anyone else, had no public viewing, and was cremated, which is what he wanted. I think, under the circumstances, you did the best you could at a time when you were also grieving the loss of a close loved one.
Comment: #8
Posted by: Jean
Thu Oct 28, 2010 1:09 AM
LW1: The lesbian/bi-curious angle is the first thing that popped into my mind, too. The affair angle is also a keen insight, one I hadn't considered. Still, I wonder - is the wife in the letter wanting to stay at Suzy's house every night, or once a month? Is she even going to be returning in the morning? Has the wife indicated WHY she wants to hang out at Suzy's overnight? Even if these women aren't lesbians or having affairs, my concern is how much the wife is "around" for the 11-year-old son when she's spending so much time with Suzy? Does the wife have any OTHER friends, or just this one? ("Social butterfly" suggests more than just one.) It also sounds like she's neglecting her marriage. If the wife doesn't provide some satisfying answers AND agree to tone-down the time with Suzy, then counseling is the next step. LW3: Did you go to an open casket viewing after washing your hands in the kitchen sink, smacking your head on an open cupboard, then steal someone's lunch while your throat was clicking?
Comment: #9
Posted by: Matt
Thu Oct 28, 2010 1:15 AM
LW1 - The lesbian/bi-curious angle also popped into my mind when I first read this letter. I also thought that maybe his wife is having an affair and Suzy is the cover up for it. Grown women who live near each other do not schedule sleep overs for no reason. After a night of partying and one stays over since they can't drive home, that's understandable. But he's right...she should sleep at home. She has a husband and child. And he's right when he says that he should know where she's going. When someone won't tell their own spouse where they're going, something is definitly up. The Annie's said his wife owes him honesty. Yes, but she's not giving it to him. If I were him, I'd start doing some digging to see if he can find evidence of an affair and take it from there.

LW2 and LW3 - Agree with the Annie's.
Comment: #10
Posted by: Michelle
Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:31 AM
It sounds to me as though LW1 and his wife led a rather sheltered life and then jumped right into marriage before getting the chance to "live a little." The LW's wife has met a new gal pal who invites her out, introduces her to interesting and exciting new things, and is someone other than LW1 with whom to share conversations and good times. This woman has known little else outside her husband's world for thirteen years; she craves something new! For the moment, she can't get enough of Suzy. Like all fads, this one will eventually reach an equilibrium and the time Suzy spends with the LW and his family will become more reasonable. The bigger problem is the LW's apparent controlling nature with regards to his wife, her friends, and her whereabouts. She's not property. I don't see anything wrong with allowing the wife to have sleepovers at her friend's home as long as the friend isn't introducing the wife to the bar scene, amorous men, or getting her involved with drugs or alcohol. As an aside to Su: please get your head out of the gutter. While A couple of good friends of the same gender spending a lot of time together and crashing at each others homes regularly might indicate immaturity, it definitely isn't a sign that they're engaging in a salacious homosexual affair. Please!
Comment: #11
Posted by: Chris
Thu Oct 28, 2010 4:44 AM
I might spend the night with an out-of-town friend if it was the best way to handle travel plans that didn't include my husband. Going to take care of an elderly relative or something else that he didn't want to do, but was happy for me to. I might even go out of my way to arrange a visit with a friend in the course of other travel plans. But spend the night with a friend in the same town? I'm sure he'd be very upset if I did that.
Comment: #12
Posted by:
Thu Oct 28, 2010 5:56 AM
LW1 just sounds very sheltered and like he and his wife have always only had each other and now that she has another friend he is feeling threatened. He should probably look into getting some male friends so he doesn't feel so threatened by his wife being social. The way the guy describes it, it seems the wife only has Suzy and maybe she hangs out with the people in Suzy's circle, but this hardly makes her a social butterfly, so to call her that I find a bit telling. Also, I find the disapproval of her to be a bit sexist. I know plenty of guys who go out with the guys all the time, spend a weekend camping trip with the guys or some male bonding thing fairly often and nobody says they should be home with thier kids or are a bad husband/parent because of it. That said, the time Suzy spends with the family does seem a bit excessive, but that is probably due to the fact that the wife has not spent any amount of significant time with anyone over the last 13 years other than the husband and the son. I think both the husband and wife would benefit from having other friends and spending time with them and not having everything revolve around just the two of them and their son. The husband makes it sound like they have only really socially interacted with each other and their son for the past 13 years so no wonder the wife goes a little crazy when she finally gets a break from it and someone else to talk to.
Comment: #13
Posted by: hsiah
Thu Oct 28, 2010 6:14 AM
I'm not sure how a request for one sleepover translates into "make a habit of". I have slept over at my best friends numerous times -- she's got a huge movie collection, and sometimes we have theme nights, staying up till all hours watching movies that our husbands don't particularly want to see (all 16 hours of the BBC's Pride & Prejudice, anyone?) Both of us remain happily married and straight. We saw it as kind of the equivalent of the husbands' golfing weekend, hunting trip up north, or poker night.

I do agree that LW needs to talk to his wife, though to see what's going on, and he should listen carefully when she and Suzy are talking for clues to the nature of their friendship. I'm not at all sure that Suzy's gay; I think Chris's scenario is much more likely -- that Suzy is single, and likes to use his wife as her "wingman" when she goes to clubs. She may be getting a little bit of a rush to find that she's considered attractive and interesting all on her own, not just as "LW's wife" or "son's Mom", particularly if she doesn't work outside the home or if her job isn't stimulating.
Comment: #14
Posted by: hedgehog
Thu Oct 28, 2010 6:17 AM
@Chris - I agree with you on all points. I think that the wife essentially missed her 20s and wants another shot at it. I don't know if the LW is controlling (possibly) or just blind-sided and unable to empathize because he does not feel that he missed out anything. I doubt that the relationship with Suzy is sexual - I have had numerous friends of both sexes and while some mature in to lasting friendships quite a few were very exciting (in a non-sexual way) but fizzled out after the initial infatuation wore off.

Having said all of that, I still think the wife needs to tone it down and the husband needs to mellow out. The should talk and try to find a way to meet each other somewhere in the middle.
Comment: #15
Posted by: sharnee
Thu Oct 28, 2010 6:42 AM
I've had sleepovers with other women friends a few times in the last 7 years of motherhood. Sometimes you just want to stay up late talking to friend and having wine, and not worry about the drive home. It's also a fun flashback to childhood. I don't see anything sexual about it-if they wanted to have sex, daytime is easier and less suspicious. I think she's excited about having a friend. He needs to chill out, and they need to talk it over to agree on boundaries.
Comment: #16
Posted by: farrar sanchez
Thu Oct 28, 2010 7:10 AM
What most of you are missing is SHE is a MOTHER who is ignoring her child for the sake of all consuming friendship with Suzy. That is the trigger. OUt here in the real world of families working hard at 2 & 3 jobs, keeping the family together, participating in school events (the 11 yr old child SHOULD have needs like this) means working on it together. Coffee klatches--movie night, etc are not all consuming. Too many people believe the TV reality programming of how things should be WHEN it reality it is DYSFUNCTIONAL.
MOM, get your head out of your butt and pay attention to the needs of the family, esp the child. Your fantastic social life can wait to take it's leap once your child is out of the house. HE has no voice in the choice of your friend or behavior. YOur husband should be able to get counseling to answer his issues. This is not saying you need no life, but an all consuming person shows they are in charge, not you. BFFs that appear in the adult ages of life and attach like an unwanted tick send up red flags. If this were the work place, it would raise and eye brow as well. And yes, my first thought that flashed was SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND and A HUSBAND. Boredom leads people to do rather stupid things they eventually regret--And you most often end up REALLY alone in the end.
I have many friends I can do many things with, trust with conversation, but obcessiveness is crossing the line of a healthy mental health issue. We teach our children these safe guards--and how quickly things move to the bullying stage, etc.
Maybe she missed the teen years events and may have come from a dysfunctional family as well. Check out family therapy and see what happens. The child is the one I worry about being at risk. True life is not like television shows. They start and stop within 60 minutes. True life goes on forever.
Comment: #17
Posted by: Joyce/MN
Thu Oct 28, 2010 7:32 AM
1: I agree that wives/husbands do not make a habit of sleeping over at friends' houses unless there is a problem in the marriage - with at least one caveat: If the friend is having a problem and needs someone there to help. The same holds true for relatives. If the friend is sick and needs someone to look after them or if they've had surgery and need someone to keep an eye on them overnight or something. We live in a mobile society. Not everyone has a close family member nearby to help with these issues. That's where friends often step in. But I don't think the lw is talking about his wife helping a friend in need. I'd say the couple needs to have a serious heart to heart conversation about this "overnight" issue but I think they've already "talked" it out and there's no meeting ground. So the next step is marriage counseling. We are only hearing from this man's point of view after all. I think a neutral third party talking to both of them would be helpful in finding what is going on in the marriage and helping to find a fair compromise if one is possible.
Comment: #18
Posted by: Pat-tricia
Thu Oct 28, 2010 7:43 AM
Dear Annie:

I think your answer is naive, saying the wife missed out on her high school days. I think it is more likely his wife is being lesbianized by Suzy with the sleepovers...

Comment: #19
Posted by: Joe H
Thu Oct 28, 2010 7:48 AM
Re: Joe H,
"Lesbianized"!!! What in the world is that? Is it even a word? I think your 'homophobicism' is showing.
Comment: #20
Posted by: Penny
Thu Oct 28, 2010 9:59 AM
After reading the first letter, my first thought was, she is having an affair and Suzy is the cover up. After reading everyone's comments, the lesbian thing makes sense too. While I am not opposed to a movie night with the girls (or something similar) on occasion - it is odd, to me anyway, to do it frequently. And if it is a lesbian thing OR an affair (well the lesbian thing IS an affair as well, but I hope ya'll know what I mean) then there are certainly problems in the marriage. This guy needs to insist on an honest talk with his wife and then determine what to do. Whatever it is...her child is being neglected by mom and that is something that truly disgusts me.
Comment: #21
Posted by: Molly B
Thu Oct 28, 2010 11:12 AM
I disagree with your take on the cremation issue. By having a 'viewing' of her deceased husband, she defintely went against his wishes and her Mother In-Law's "He looks awful" was her reward. If a couple agrees on cremation, the surviving spouse should not "give in" but stand his/her ground. A promise broken is a promise broken and this broken promise is something that "Future" will have to live with the rest of her days.
Comment: #22
Posted by: Louie Louie
Thu Oct 28, 2010 11:29 AM
My, Louis Schebert, aren't you the COMPASSIONATE one??? Or did you just post to get a rise out of readers?
I think the "reward" goes to the MIL. If she had not "demanded" to see him, then she wouldn't have had that lasting image of his looking "awful". What a terrible thing she did to her DIL. But LW3 needs to forgive herself (after 21 years) as the Annies said.
Comment: #23
Posted by: Mary Ann
Thu Oct 28, 2010 12:30 PM
Re: Penny

I am not homophobic. I heard the words "lesbianized", "lesbanism" and "homosectionality" from an ignorant, hate mongering preacher on the radio in St. Louis some years ago. It was meant to be humorous.
Comment: #24
Posted by: Joe H
Thu Oct 28, 2010 12:33 PM
the problem with a person that has "missed their 20s" is they often miss dating and sexual relationships that one that doesnt get married so young does not. Spending a lot of time away from home, "trying out new things" often does lead to affairs and other bad things. Ive seen it happen many times and even went through it a bit myself.
Comment: #25
Posted by: Oveta
Thu Oct 28, 2010 1:04 PM
If my husband were to have one of his buddies over every single night, go hang out with his buddy and not let me know where he's going and then stay tell me he wanted to stay overnight, we'd be having a pretty serious talk. And this is even if his going out didn't involve leaving me home alone with a child. The wife needs to be honest here but so should the husband. It is scary to go up against the silent treatment. His wife knows this and that is why she's doing it. But he needs to lay his cards out and let her know that this is damaging their marriage.
Comment: #26
Posted by: Datura
Thu Oct 28, 2010 1:15 PM
If LW1 and his wife had come to me back when I was working as a therapist, I'd try to get them to look deeper, to identify and deal with the root of the problem. It's evident they don't communicate, either with each other or other people, very well. He seems cautious and afraid of offending her. She seems angry, pouty and uncommunicative. Both appear to be lonely, and have a history of having a hard time socializing with other people. The LW's wife may be clinging to someone (the female friend) she finally feels able to be close to and communicate with, trying to make up for past years of loneliness. The issue (to my mind) isn't so much the time she spends with her friend, or the plan to do a sleepover. Those might be regarded as symptoms of an apparent base-line problem in their marriage, a lack of confidence and communication on both of their parts.
Comment: #27
Posted by: sarah morrow
Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:23 PM
Re: Louis Schubert
Sheesh, what colour letter will you brand this poor woman to make sure she never, never, never forgets that horrible, unforgivable, unspeakable sin? Yeah, that's right, "He looks awful" was her reward, anf that's bad enough without dancing on her head. Cast no stone unless ye be without sin...
Comment: #28
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Thu Oct 28, 2010 4:17 PM
Re: Joe H
If really you meant to be humorous and are not presently backtracking because you got rammed, I suggest you use stuff like LOL and :-)))), you know... Irony can sometimes be difficult to perceive when there is naugh else but the printed word...
Comment: #29
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Thu Oct 28, 2010 4:21 PM
LW1: All explanations so far offered have some plausibility, but this is one case where I don't think we know enough to be sure of anything. For thyat reason, I think the Annies had it right.Let's keep in mind here that the letters they receive will often go on rambling for pages and pages and need to be edited heavily to be even printable. There is nore to it here than we know, and even the Annies may know, but they know more than we do.

LW2: Geesh, all this hollabaloo about how to proceed to send the piece back and get a reimbursement, yadda, yadda, yadda? What's wrong with just pushing the prongs down with some kinf od flat tool? Problem solved and the woman gets to keet and use a piece she bought because she likes it. Keep in mind that sending somethying back on the Net is expensive - the shipping costs and insurance are on you.
Comment: #30
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Thu Oct 28, 2010 4:30 PM
Um, Joyce -- there's no evidence that she's ignoring her child. He's 11, an age that boys tend to start doing more with their dads, sometimes leaving Mom behind -- and that may well be part of what's going on here. If Dad's coaching him in soccer or softball, or is his Scoutmaster, or doing pinewood derby with him, or taking him camping, and if he's starting to clam up around Mom, she may well be feeling left out, and like her little boy no longer needs her. Not saying he doesn't -- but if that's how she feels, it's not surprise she's looking elsewhere for social activity.
Comment: #31
Posted by: hedgehog
Thu Oct 28, 2010 5:55 PM
LW1 sounds to me like he needs to unknot his panties. He sounds more than a little controlling and demanding...I would want away from him as well.
Comment: #32
Posted by: Candi Anne
Thu Oct 28, 2010 6:54 PM
Man, this world is really a changing place. Why is it our minds jump to "lesbian relationship" right away? I agree with Chris that LW1's life began before she had a chance to feel young and alive. I think if it were me, I would be asking what can I do to spice up our lives "together" and as a family to meet her needs at this time. in relationships, just because something has worked in the past does not mean it applies to present day. We all change and grow as we age.
Personally, my husband meets many of my needs but at times it is fun to just hang out with my friends, talk girl things and laugh, laugh, laugh. Life after all is too short to spend it the same way 24-7. The thing is, when I return home, I am happier therefore, my husband and kids benefit from my lighthearted attitude. I know some of my friends do slumber slumber parties and it usually involves facials, stiff drinks and plenty of conversation.
Comment: #33
Posted by: Jean
Fri Oct 29, 2010 5:52 AM
Oh, no, I think this discussion is homosectionalizing me! Again! No, wait - OK, all better now! Joe, I've also heard people railing against "homolectuals." Are those people who read the same book over and over?
Comment: #34
Posted by: Carla
Fri Oct 29, 2010 6:44 AM
I truly hope the dad isnt teaching the kid softball.
Comment: #35
Posted by: Oveta
Fri Oct 29, 2010 9:29 AM
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