Dear Annie: Both of my parents are heroin users. I am 18, attend college and moved out before high-school graduation due to their drug addictions.
I frequently get phone calls from my mom when I'm at work or in class, asking for money for food, gas, medicine, etc. It's always a lie. They're looking for money to buy drugs. My mother thinks I'm unaware of her heroin use, even though I have told her I've seen the track marks on her arms and the baggies in her room. She constantly denies it and changes the subject.
How can I get her to stop calling without hurting her feelings? And how can I get her to admit that she uses? — Druggie's Daughter
Dear Daughter: You cannot get your mother to do anything. That's up to her. You can, however, find better ways to cope with what is happening so you can create some emotional distance without sacrificing the relationship entirely. Please contact Families Anonymous (familiesanonymous.org) at 1-800-736-9805 or Nar-Anon (nar-anon.org) at 1-800-477-6291, and ask for guidance. You also can discuss this with someone in the counseling department of your university.
Dear Annie: I have been married to “Glenn” for 18 years, and we have two teenage daughters. Three years ago, we bought a new home so we could have a larger family room.
Glenn always wanted a plasma TV, so when we moved into the new house, he bought one. The problem is, he considers it his alone. He won't let the girls watch anything on it, saying the TV was not made for “shows like that.” He becomes angry if we watch when he's not home. One time he went out of town on business and took the power cord with him.
When Glenn watches TV, we aren't allowed to make any noise. Of course, when guests come over, he's a different person. He shows off the TV and will watch whatever the guests want.
Now the girls and I watch TV in another room in the house or do other activities.
It's sad when your children think their father would rather watch his 3-year-old toy than spend time with them. What can I do to bring my family back together — other than breaking the plasma TV? — Not a Fan
Dear Not: We assume you've spoken to your husband about his fixation on the idiot box and pointed out that his daughters (and wife) feel neglected. Would he be willing to set aside a TV-free hour once a week where he will spend time with his family? If he refuses, you will have to accept the fact that the man is obsessed and make the best of it. We hope he'll wake up before it's too late.
Dear Annie: This is in reply to “At a Loss,” the 16-year-old girl who was medicated for wetting the bed but was having side effects she did not want.
My daughter also had this problem when she was younger, and we discovered it was related to milk intolerance. She had to avoid all forms of dairy. We had to read labels very closely, as milk is in many things you wouldn't expect and is often listed by other names (casein, lactose, whey, etc.). Once we'd eliminated all dairy from her diet, it took about two weeks for the bed-wetting to stop. She is in her 20s now and can tolerate very small quantities of milk-based foods in her diet, but still has to be careful.
The young woman who wrote might not have the same results, but it's worth a try — there are no side effects, except for the possibility of having to give up something dairy that she might like. — K.C.
Dear K.C.: Several readers suggested that bed-wetting is connected to food sensitivities to gluten, dairy, eggs or chocolate, among others. It certainly cannot hurt to eliminate suspect foods to see whether the situation improves.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM

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LW1: It's a miracle you came out of that situation with your head on straight. LW2: It's very common for a guy to be completely fixated on his wonderful new TV, especially if it's a high-end model and he is really into a particular type of programming like televised sporting events. However, it is really strange that he is this possessive of it, or does not want to allow anyone else in the family to watch it. It's a sad situation, but he won't change until he sees the need to do so. Have you and your daughters tried simply coming into the room and sitting there quietly with him while he watches whatever he likes? And I assume you've already tried picking a time when nobody is rushed, tired, or emotional, to simply ask Glenn point-blank what's going on?
Comment: #1
Posted by: Matt
Tue Jan 26, 2010 12:56 AM
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Why on earth would the wife and daughters want to sit in the room in silence while Dad watches his shows on t.v. What a useless way to spend an evening! If directly talking to Dad doesn't work, then I'd continue to find activities other than television that are fun for mom and daughters (i.e. hiking, crafts, bike rides, board games). The fact that Dad actually took the power cord with him when he was on travel shows he has some serious control issues!
Comment: #2
Posted by: JJ
Tue Jan 26, 2010 5:34 AM
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Wow - a tv-free hour once a week. Dad of the year! Sounds like LW2 is going to have to accept that she's married to an adolescent.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Maggie Lawrence
Tue Jan 26, 2010 5:36 AM
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Maybe you should get another, smaller tv to wheel into the room when he's not using the room.
Comment: #4
Posted by: Jan
Tue Jan 26, 2010 5:39 AM
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These women cannot give out advice. If you want an advice column that is really worth it's salt, read Dear Prudence on Slate. This woman takes the time to answer questions and gives decisive advice. These two women pale in comparison. Boo on "Annie's Mailbox".
Comment: #5
Posted by: cc
Tue Jan 26, 2010 5:52 AM
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LW2:
That plasma would meet with an unfortunate end.
"I don't know what happened."
"I was watering the plant."
It's how my dad lost his leg lamp.
Comment: #6
Posted by: dave
Tue Jan 26, 2010 5:52 AM
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Cut the power cord -- then file for divorce. Who wants to live with a tyrant?
Comment: #7
Posted by: MsRadooo
Tue Jan 26, 2010 7:30 AM
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Cut the power cord. Then file for divorce. Why live with such a petty tyrant?
Comment: #8
Posted by: MsRadooo
Tue Jan 26, 2010 7:31 AM
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Move the TV to the bedroom, then the kids can enjoy the family room with Mom and Mom can control action in bedroom.
Comment: #9
Posted by: Kay
Tue Jan 26, 2010 7:38 AM
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Take the girls to the movies, out to dinner, school activities, ( oops, forgot to tell you I wasn't making diner tonight) and any other fun activities you can think of. After a few nights sitting alone and hungry in front of his toy, he might notice. Why cater to or enable his control issues?
Comment: #10
Posted by: Blenie
Tue Jan 26, 2010 8:26 AM
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Take the girls to the movies, out to dinner, school activities, ( oops, forgot to tell you I wasn't making diner tonight) and any other fun activities you can think of. After a few nights sitting alone and hungry in front of his toy, he might notice. Why cater to or enable his control issues?
Comment: #11
Posted by: Blenie
Tue Jan 26, 2010 8:27 AM
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A TV free hour? Really? My god if that's the best that father can do that I would think that's grounds for divorce myself.
Comment: #12
Posted by: Megan
Tue Jan 26, 2010 9:26 AM
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When I was 16 and learned to drive, my father bought a car with a manual transmission. I'd learned on an automatic and he thought it would keep me from driving. So, I learned to drive the standard. Then, he started taking that car to work, leaving an old pickup, also standard shift. I learned to drive that one, too. What I'm getting at is that there's more than one way to skin a cat. If my husband took the power cord with him on a trip, I'd head to the nearest Radio Shack, Best Buy, or whatever and buy another one. I'd also buy a decent TV for myself and my children and leave the big baby to fend for himself when it came to meals or anything else he expects. What a tyrant!
Comment: #13
Posted by: Joannakathryn
Tue Jan 26, 2010 10:56 AM
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Glenn is a nut job and Not A Fan needs to think about the kind of example she is setting for her girls by letting Glenn control the house like that. Their daughters need to know that it is 50/50 in a family/house, reguardless of who makes the money or who buys what. I wouldn't be surprised if these girls end up marrying controling men, and not just men who are controling about things like TV sets. I'd say some serious counseling for this family is very much needed.
Comment: #14
Posted by: Joan
Tue Jan 26, 2010 3:19 PM
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Druggies Daughter, I guess if they are in denial you can't accuse your parents of being drug addicts but what I would say to them is if they did use drugs they should be arrested as accomplices in murder. Over 15,000 people wer killed in the last three years in Mexico alone getting the drugs to them. Not all were drug dealers as I am sure you know of the entire innocent family of the mexican marine was wiped out. I would also tell them that they should be arrested for treason as it would be their drug money going to Al Qaeda and the Taliban to purchase the bombs and weapons that are killing our troups. I would also tell them that the billions of dollars spent on drugs are going to other countries when our weak economy suffers. I would tell them that the excuse used by druggies that they are only hurting themselves is a lie.
Maybe you will find out if your parants have a heart.
Comment: #15
Posted by: Felix Dupuy
Tue Jan 26, 2010 3:36 PM
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Re: cc
Wow cc - a little harsh! I read Dear Prudence, Annie's mailbox and Dear Abby regularyly and I enjoy all 3 columnists. That's not to say I agree with all 3 100% of the time but I love the fact that all are available for my reading pleasure, at times insightfulness or a helpful hint or two.
Comment: #16
Posted by: donna
Wed Jan 27, 2010 8:59 AM
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Dear Not A Fan, I'm going to take a shot in the dark here and consider that you have left out an important piece of the puzzle. You are to have Kathy and Marcy believe that out of the clear blue your husband has become a tyrant over something like a television. Could it be that your husband is a closet and/or borderline abusive mate and has been for some time? One of the give aways is "when guests come over, he's a different person. . .and will watch whatever the guests want." No doubt the discussion on this subject has been very limited between the two of you. This man needs psychological help and may even be suffering from depression. No matter how difficult, help him to recognize his behavior. No man has the right to act this way.
Comment: #17
Posted by: Sherry
Fri Jan 29, 2010 10:33 AM
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Addendum to Previous Message to Not A Fan: There is another question that needs to be asked. Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are not the problem. Is it possible that after 18 years your husband has had enough? Have your habits brought about this explosive and irrational behavior? No one knows that answer but you. The answer to whatever is going on lies within you and your husband.
Comment: #18
Posted by: Sherry
Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:10 PM
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